So

J. is thinking. I have asked him to.
We are different now.
Grown up.
I wish that we could think about trying now. Seeing each other, whatever.
PLEASE - pray give vibes thoughts whatever you have. I appreciate it SO MUCH!!!!! Thank you!

(Dr says - "It is ok to want J. It is not ok to want J. because you don't have yourself." And we have agreed I've been finding myself. That *enjoying* things that have nothing to do with him is so important and I am finally really able to do that. And have lived here alone for years now...)