Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas

I hope whomever reads this has a good day.
I am so glad I walked yesterday.
And that I will see my mother today and try to give her a really good Christmas.
And I will try to feel good today.
I am glad for Jesus.
And had these grats yesterday:



        1.  I walked
          2.    For over 30 minutes
3.    I took the real age quiz again.
4.    And honestly.
5.    And it wasn’t quite as bad as last time.
6.    I will work on making these changes.
7.    It is a lot better to concentrate on that than on suicide.
8.    A’s friends. Omg how grateful I am for that.
9.    The walking felt so good.
10.    It was brisk but not uncomfortably cold really.
11.  I have a coat.
12.   When I was walking I felt ok inside emotionally mostly.
13.   I will do every day.
14.  It was like a walk on a beach, even though it was on the sidewalks in my town.
15.    am not in a concentration camp,.
16.  I CAN walk.
17.   I seem to have gotten rid of S and he is finished bothering me thank God.
18.   Those blow-up decorations some people put up. I know one friend and her daughter who think they are very tacky, but I feel that if they bring a little joy, that’s a very good thing. And especially of course, for children.
19.  The holiday wish, “May all beings everywhere be happy and free.”
20.   And that I AM free. And I DO have the conditions to be happy. I must just work it out inside.
21.  Jesus.
22.   At a bit more veggies today.
23.  Am about to have a large fruit too. Ok. Good.
24.   The moments when I didn’t suffer.
25.  Birdies have fresh organic baby kale and other dark greens. Yay.
26.   That I do that for them so often. Soon I hope it will be every single day.
27.   Spinach
28.  Water
29.   Driving
30.   Safely
31.   I am grateful that my cousin Ma has a husband or husband-to-be and baby now. She waited a long time and is about 44 years old and I am happy for her happiness, well-deserved. Good people.
32.   This fb post, which I just saw: A Place to Reflect
33.   Be yourself. Accept yourself. Value yourself. Forgive yourself. Bless yourself. Express yourself. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Empower yourself
34.    If I’ve really been that close to suicide, then I have nothing to lose.
35.  Oranges
36.  I have helped L with his gf.
37.   Mr. Rogers
38.  Koko the Gorilla
39.   The book, “Koko’s Kitten”
40.   Words
41.   Ability to write
42.   And to type
43.   Chopin
44.   Kandinski
45.   Accepting some things about myself
46.   Hope for healing
47.   All hope
48.  The monies I’ve given for charities
49.   The time I spent helping in the orphanage
50.   The 2 ½ years I volunteered in the psychiatric hospital with the children
51.   The good piano lessons I gave. There were some, I’m sure.
52. My dr today said I was important to some people.
53.   He was even frustrated that it is ridiculous, in his words, for me not to get that.
54.   I love my birds. I am so grateful for them both together. (And each alone)
55.  I felt something about Jesus tonight.
56.   Possibilities
57.  Jigsaw puzzles of fractals online free
58.   My breasts
59.   My hands
60.    My feet
61.   My legs
62.   Art
63.   Museums
64.  People who donate their owned art works to the museums
65.   All the ones I’ve been to. The Met
66.   Museum of Natural History
67.   Tate
68.   Smithsonian
69.   Neue
70.   National Acadey
71.  The Native one
72.And others
73.    Finally appreciating purple
      74   And combinations

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