Feelings Work

I feel/ I think it is because/Next time I'll do differently: I feel like I'm a mess and my body and my house and my life are a mess. I feel like I'm defective and just can't take care of things. Of life. And yet I ALSO feel okay in the moment. I just don't like the way I'm living. I feel - lazy and not wanting to do all the things I don't want to do. And - I don't have rewards to look forward to right now. But - I'll have to FIND the rewards. Inside mySELF. Doggie is here - doing things for her is good. Piano is good. Helping my mother is good. Maybe I'll find a movie or play or museum and have a day out later in the week for myself, and just enjoy it. Saving money is good...Doing the 100 grats a day is good...I'll have to continue doing these things. And my friends.