100 Gratitudes a Day

I am grateful:

1. I am starting early, the night before because things have just happened to add to my gratitudes! E called. And they want *me * to give the Word to a couple of people a day! I’m so honored about his opportunity for service!
2. I said the person who does it for me really knows what she’s doing, and I would never be able to do that so well like that. And she said I will learn by doing. Nice.
3. But also – I said I really need some kind of training to do it any kind of justice for the people and she said they have it! Every Saturday! Yay!
4. And – the drugstore got here with my pills and my thumb/wrist is so greatly relieved.
5. And – the dr. *did * call back! Yay. I just talked to him.
6. Unfortunately, he said it is probably yet another condition : ( But – then again, that could be better news – who knows? And – it means I probably don’t have to worry about surgery right now…
7. Oh – and E really is encouraging me to go to the 10-day retreat. I don’t think I can give that many days, but I will probably do the first few. Or at least talk to one of the sisters about my concerns, and to my Sp as well.
8. O is on her way and we’re going out to dinner.
9. And I actually had a really nice time out with her last night. It’s so good to be able to enjoy girlfriends after all these years.
10. And I’m not so upset about the “mean girls” from today at all anymore.
11. And I spoke with MA today
12. And I do feel hopeful about J
13. And F from last night’s meeting called me.
14. And I’m happy for O that she handles the selfish/awful situation from G so well last night!
15. And I’m so happy that I’m able to be happy for other people.
16. And E said she would pray for my hand.
17. And biggy – the dr. said although it will hurt to do things, I will not be doing any kind of long-term damage. Yay. Because I really need to do things with my hand, like piano, and typing, and cooking, etc. to keep my sanity. Plus, I have to do dishes and laundry and cleaning and garbage out and showering etc. Plus soon I have to do my classroom. But most of all, I have to – well, I very much have a less difficult time when I can – do things with my hands to keep sane at this most difficult time of my life so far.
18. I am grateful for blogs. I am grateful for the opportunity to chronicle here, and to read the few I read (people who come here)..
19. I am grateful that I just went out for Thai food with O
20. And it was delicious
21. And healthy
22. And not expensive
23. And we had such a very nice time
24. This morning now. I am so grateful that I called Mar
25. First of all, she had fallen back asleep, so it kept her from missing church or being late for work or both
26. Secondly, she took me to the church
27. And, she will take me tomorrow
28. It was beautiful
29. I am not so worried about time, schedule, etc. I’m grateful for that.
30. And that interestingly, today’s passage was about that too.
31. And that I loved the Bible E lent me: Christian Community Bible Catholic Pastoral Edition
32. And I’m going to buy it today, with my gift certificate.
33. Today’s For Today: “When I am tempted to give advice, I need to practice the discipline of listening, instead. That is real closeness, without barriers.” Hard one. But probably is true. Need to let it sink in.
34. And “For today: I freely give to others what this program has given me, remembering that the only authority here is God as each of us understands God.”
35. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Step Six.” Important one.
36. … if broken arm set incorrectly…“A good surgeon could carefully re-break that arm and reset it so it would function perfectly. However, such an operation would be quite painful and could require many months to heal. Step Six suggests removing old, destructive habits. One of my old habits was eating food that would ‘stick to my ribs.’ I also experienced dramatic emotional swings.” Yes! That’s me!
37. “It has taken many years to change old eating habits and emotional reactions. But my Higher Power was the very skilled surgeon, and He was helped by the members of Overeaters Anonymous.
38. “Though the process was often painful, it resulted in a useful, happy life.
39. “I have learned that when the pain of where I am is worse than the fear of where I’m going.” Wow.
40. “I welcome change.” Yes!
41. I am so disappointed in this hand/thumb/wrist business. BUT – IF I have to immobilize for 2 weeks, hmmm, what better way than to go to that retreat? ! Maybe it’s meant to be. Because sitting here without being able to use piano or computer…will drive me crazy so to speak. But I *could * use that time well by going to the retreat. So we’ll see.
42. That I got an appointment with the hand specialist for Monday.
43. That there are a couple of movies out that I would like to see. That’s just a pure luxury.
44. And – if I go on the right day, it can be free! Talk about luxury!
45. I called St. and she and I might get together later or tomorrow.
46. And – I mentioned that I’d avoided calling for 2 or 3 weeks because I was down and didn’t want to be a burden so I was working on it myself and she said she does NOT think of it that way.
47. I’m grateful that I called the bookstore to see if they had that Bible. They don’t, and suggested when I asked, that it would take longer for them to order it than for me to get it online.
48. So, I ordered it online.
49. And – it should be here in two days *without * paying for 2 day delivery due to special deal! I’m excited! It has such wonderful notes!
50. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I’m comfortable with myself.”
51. And it says: “Now I know what I am.
52. I’m codependent. And I have good news – I have a CoDA home group.
53. “OPne day at a time, I react differently.
54. “My self-talk is more positive.
55. “I’m beginning to like myself as I am.
56. “Some people may not like me and that’s OK now.” Important for me to read that.
57. “If the cost of their approval is to deny my true self, the price is too high.
58. “Every day I work my recovery, and with God’s guidance, I’m making changes.”
59. And Jesus was defiled and remained loving. What an example (understatement).
60. I don’t know about this. It’s a little confusing to me. But it must be true. In today’s Language of Letting Go, it says: “I’ve learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am. – Anonymous:
61. “Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should *always * be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.” Well, yeah, I do feel that about work face. But – now I have program, and I don’t have to do it there.
62. It goes on to say: “While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side to all of us – that part of us that feels needy,
63. becomes frightened,
64. has doubts,
65. and gets angry.” And I’ve listed them separately because I am grateful to acknowledge each one.
66. “That part of us that needs care,
67. Love,
68. and reassurance that things will be okay.
69. “Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs our acceptance too.”
70. And Thich Nhat Hahn speaks of this also. About the way a mother comforts her crying baby; that that is the way we should comfort our pain, anger, etc.
71. And it goes on to say: “Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. “ Wow.
72. “Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people
73. and helps others feel close to us.
74. “It helps us grow in self-love
75. and self-acceptance.
76. “It helps us become healing agents.
77. “It allows us to become whole and accessible to others.
78. “Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with others when it’s safe and appropriate to do so.”
79. I am so grateful that during this very painful hand pain time, worse than any pain I can remember ever feeling, including after the accident when I was out of commission for a year, that I am not at work these days. So I can just do what needed for self. Like, laundry is painful; heck, I can’t even hold a coffee cup. But at least I’m not at work, or having to be on that schedule. I can take my time and take it easy and do the things I have to do, one at a time, little by little.
80. That they’re about to deliver the splint.
81. Roseanne show repeats – stupid, but cheering me up
82. That this horrible horrible pain does serve a good purpose - it makes me feel that indeed, J. is *not* the absolute most important thing in the world. Long explanation, can't type it - but I'm grateful for that lesson.


Physically cannot type anymore