My 100 Gratitudes Today

More, deep, gratitude (s) Than time to write them! I am grateful: 1. L sharing with me last night. 2. And telling me these were things he has never shared with anyone. And by the nature of them, and knowing him, I am sure this is true. I am so honored and grateful that he shared of himself, about all those 20 years, with me. 3. And that I told him so. 4. I am grateful that he just asked to take a peek at these, 5. and that I let him 6. and that he seemed good with it 7. That he knows so very much about music 8. But does NOT make me feel inferior 9. That I am getting in good physical shape for my time with Jo today 10. That on the phone the other night, when I was crying about not wanting to hurt J, L was so: calm, centered, intelligent, caring yet dispassionate in a good way, sensible. Ex. “Your lawyer needs to talk some sense into you.” And “he needs to take care of his own life.” And … … … 11. Shostakovich 12. Dutillieux 13. Vaughn Williams 14. Nielsen 15. Berlioz 16. Bartok 17. I would never have been introduced to these great works if not for L. I am SI grateful that we can enjoy them together. 18. I am so grateful for what L said in bed last night. He was sharing, and we were talking and he was rubbing my tush. My favorite place to be caressed. I used to ask J to do that. He found it a pain and after like twice, decades ago, wouldn’t. I have never asked L. But he does. 19. And when I said to him, “Oh thank you. Thank you.” And, “Oh that’s so nice.” And finally. “Oh that’s heaven. Thank you.” I’m glad I thanked him and said that. 20. And he said – he said – omg he said to me, “Oh, you have brought so much heaven to my life. I owe you. I owe you.” He said that. 21. And again, *he * made *me * coffee this morning. He makes it for me (he doesn’t drink coffee) and *serves * it to me. 22. He has some of the cards I’ve given him, up and around. Wow. 23. And I went around and re-read them this morning, while he was upstairs. So nice. I’m so grateful that they seem to mean something to me. 24. Breathe and be home. The calligraphy Thich Naht Hahn made, and which I bought for L. 25. And how I brought it here from London and gave it to him. 26. And of ALL the pieces, THAT has to be the ONE on which the glass broke on my way home here from London! 27. But L refused to let me have it fixed. He said it is part of its story. 28. And I am sitting here, in his l.r., looking straight ahead at it. 29. And its background is red and it is on off-white parchment, and the ink is back and the frame is back. And what colors are L’s l. r? You guessed it! 30. And that I really was in London. 31. Alone. Oh, I am so grateful for that. 32. The kissing. The kissing this weekend so far. Oh my goodness. 33. His focused brain. 34. I am so grateful that I got here safely.. 35. And that I treated him to the little dinner last night. 36. And to the bottle of wine. 37. And that somehow- somehow – I am NOT overwhelmed with worry about my financial future. SOO grateful for that. 38. And that there are only 4 more weeks of school. 39. And that I’ve signed up for the Lincoln Center summer course! This will inject something new and wonderful into my classroom for next year. 40. And I don’t even have to go into the city to do it! 41. And I don’t even have to pay for it! 42. And – THEY’RE giving ME a few hundred dollars for doing it! 43. I have always – 26 years – been unwilling to put summer days into this, no matter how much it has interested me, and how much I KNEW I would love it, due to the weekend course I took that once. But THIS YEAR, I am looking forward – even though it is 4 days 8:30 – 4! : ) 44. I am grateful that L and I had ANOTHER wonderful day yesterday. We were in Red Bank, New Jersey. 45. And that today promises to be great also. We will be with J and S. 46. The nice glass of wine I had yesterday. Fruity, jammy, yummy. 47. And that I bought a bottle of wine to bring home to my house. 48. This cozy orange blanket I am “wearing” right now. On L’s sofa. 49. Safe trip here. 50. My car. 51. My driving. 52. My sunglasses 53. Talking on phone with S right now, on speaker, with L. 54. Coffee with coconut milk this morning. 55. Photos 56. My iphone 57. Je, at the piano in the class Friday, STANDING while he played, so he could reach the pedal. 58. My blog. 59. The countries from which people are reading my blog. 60. Friends 61. That M is so happy, away with her girls. 62. And I’m glad she and I have been communicating via email. 63. I am grateful for the hfs sandwiches I’ve brought here with me. 64. And the cooked kale with garlic 65. And that L. is eating some right now. 66. I am grateful, so grateful, for the music shares we’ve had this morning. Oh my goodness. 67. And for my hair. Yup. 68. And I do believe I shall be given an incredible orgasm tonight or tomorrow morning. 69. I am so grateful that L’s back is beginning to feel better. 70. And for the summery weather. 71. And that there is no camp at school this summer: I do not have to pack my classroom! 72. Am about to have breakfast. Choices. 73. The vegan restaurant yesterday! 74. I had a DELICIOUS vegan Philly cheese steak! 75. Classical music stations on the radio 76. My piano. 77. That I have been practicing. 78. That I WILL – somehow – play in that concert – uh oh lol 79. Overture to the Barber of Seville – it is on right now. 80. I can hardly believe I will be at the Yo Yo Ma concert so soon! 81. And my pretty feet 82. And pedicure 83. And pink tongs 84. That I am about to have breakfast. Dishes 85. Forks 86. Spoons 87. “Butter” knives 88. That I don’t have to eat butter 89. L’s bed. Mmmmmm. 90. The breeze from the front window right now. 91. That I have another whole night here. 92. The esplanade yesterday. Sitting there together. So romantic.. 93. Walking. I am so grateful for walking. 94. And the nice people we keep meeting. 95. My voice. Oh my, I remember when I didn’t have it. Literally, physically didn’t have it. 96. That THIS is my Sunday morning now! Virtually every week! Compare THAT to a year and two ago. 97. That L. will give me 7 minutes for meditating today – together! 98. That he is so funny to S – he calls it abusive lol– because of S’s political opinions. 99. My eyesight. 100. Positivity 101. Humor. His 102. “The joyfulness of having spent Sat. with L in Red Bank.” That one’s from L.