Readings

For Today: Honesty is the best policy. Miguel de Cervantes Have I ever stopped to think that, without honesty, the Serenity Prayer is just words? How can I accept the things I cannot change, without being willing to find out what they are? And if I don’t identify the things I can change, how can I even begin to change them? All of this takes self-honesty, because it is I who will write my inventory, give away a fifth step and take the steps that follow. God grants me the blessings I ask for according to my willingness to be completely honest with myself. For today: What are the defects and burdens I want God to relieve me of? Digging them out is not nearly as painful as letting them fester. Voices of Recovery Those who have studied them carefully have found that these Traditions can be applied effectively to all human relationships, both inside and outside OA 12 & 12 p. 108 I am grateful to the Traditions that keep out groups and OA as a whole functioning in a healthy way, I am also grateful that I can apply these principles to all my relationships, whether anyone else knows about the Traditions or not. It’s amazing how these simple ideas can improve my interactions with others. For example, what relationship can’t be made better if I consider our common welfare and strive for unity? I can place God as the ultimate authority over all my relationships and pray to be a trusted servant, instead of a controller. I can allow others to be autonomous, unless a matter affects our relationship as a whole. Remembering to place principles before personalities helps me in all my relationships and dealings with other people. It is such a relief to simply look at the issue at hand and not get caught up in the personalities involved. In This Moment In This Moment, I don’t have to manage everything. Am I trying to do it all? Am I being a perfectionist and controlling, while doing more than is appropriate? Am I feeling distress because of my behavior? In recovery, I try healthy behavior. This is new and unfamiliar. But with repeated exercise, it becomes easier, I stop trying to manage everything and realize that I am a human being – perfectly human, not a perfect human. It’s a shift in perception. With my Higher Power’s guidance, unmanageability is something I can change. The Language of Letting Go What If? I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do. “What if he doesn’t handle it very well?” I asked. “Then, my friend replied, “you’re going to have to handle it well.” “What if’s” can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else’s hands. “What if’s” are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course. “What if’s” are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what’s best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear. The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don’t have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don’t need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome – even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well. Today, I will not worry about other people’s reactions, or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.