Readings

For Today: The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. Leonardo da Vinci That old cliche, "Everyone has a right to his opinion," is true enough. However, that does not make everyone's opinion of equal value. On the subject of abstinence, for instance: how do I see it? OA is based on the same principles as AA. Is breaking my abstinence the same for me as taking a drink is for the alcoholic? Yes. Yet, compulsive overeating does not have the same immediate consequences: it does not alter my mind in the same way alcohol does and with the same rapidity. You can't smell it on my breath. So, I may think I can get away with it. But compulsive overeating shows in my thinking. I am less aware, more ready to deceive myself. For today: I accept myself as I am, but I will not spare myself the hard questions: Do I have a desire to stop eating compulsively HAVE I stopped. Voices of Recovery "...we were never meant to face this disease in isolation." OA 12 & 12 p. 16 Before coming to OA, I had years of experience trying to find the diet, program, or motivation that would help me achieve and maintain a normal weight. Everything I tried led me to the same place, back to the overeating, the sickness, and the shame. What a relief it was to come to OA and plug into a support system of fellow compulsive overeaters. "What a relief it was to say, "I'm powerless to stop eating compulsively," and to find people who understood. Not only did they understand, but they had overcome the same dilemma and willingly showed me the way. My isolation ended then. Occasionally, I try to reclaim my isolation. I do it by being the know-it-all at OA meetings, by not really being honest with my sponsor, by being too proud to ask for help. Kept up long enough, this emotional isolation will land me back in that same place as all those pre-OA diets. Getting to meetings, doing service and calling my sponsor are not enough to keep me abstinent today. I must be willing to ask for help. That is the only way I can practice the principle of humility in all my affairs. In This Moment In This Moment, I practice. I learned to use affirmations in CoDA. We read them in meetings. Friends in recovery have shared their affirmation practices with me and I've learned to create my own to fit my needs. I read affirmations to myself, write them five times each, listen to my mental reactions, record and refute negatives, make signs, and post them. For more than just temporary relief, I need to believe these positive statements I'm telling myself. Recently, I had what I call "a little miracle." I made a dumb mistake but I didn't blurt out, "Stupid!" This small change was huge for me. I'm grateful to CoDA for showing me positive encouragement. The Language of Letting Go Letting Go of Being a Victim It's okay to have a good day. Really. It's okay to be doing okay and to feel like our life is manageable and on track. Many of us have learned, as part of our survival behaviors, that the way to get the attention and approval we want to be victims. If life is awful, too difficult, unmanageable, too hard, unfair, then others will accept, like, and approve of us, we think. We may have learned this from living and associating with people who also learned to survive by being a victim. We are not victims. We do not need to be victimized. We do not need to be helpless and out of control to get the attention and love we desire. In fact, the kind of love we are seeking cannot be obtained that way. We can get the love we really want and need by only owning our power. We learn that we can stand on our own two feet, even though it sometimes feels good to lean a little. We learn that the people we are leaning on are not holding us up. They are standing next to us. We all have bad days - days when things are not going the way we'd like, days when we have feelings of sadness and fear. But we can deal with our bad days and darker feelings in ways that reflect self-responsibility rather than victimization. It's okay to have a good day too. We might not have as much to talk about, but we'll have more to enjoy. God, help me let go of my need to be a victim. help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim. Surround me with people who love me when I own my power. Help me start having good days and enjoying them. ==