Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Loneliness

is threatening to consume me again.
Nightmares.
A litttle worse each day.
Have been sick for week and a half while working and lots of lunchtime and after school meetings... so definitely not added anything else.
Guilt about mother.
Still wish was wish J. OY!

Not looking for comments.
Just want to keep putting my feelings here.

Getting them out.

Helping children; that's good.
But am so sad.
So sad.

Feel better when out with positive people like gfs.

W wants to take me out. Explained why living in that attic room. Something inside me says no. MA says no. M says no. L says yes - he had suffered from horrible depression for years a long time ago - he says get out and go but as a friend.

I hate the way my life is.
It just IS.
No one here. No family outside of mother. No decent guys showing up on line.

Maybe now that not sick
will join something - movie club or - something...

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