My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. “If you truly want to become a better you, it is imperative that you learn to feel good about yourself.” Joel Osteen
2. This is a good day
3. I should get to practice piano 3 x today.
4. My piano is so much better.
5. Last year was a lot better than the year before. This year is very very much better than last year. *Without J. *
6. While I was ripping the organic spring mix greens leaves for Summer and Jewel this morning, I made a salad for MYSELF! Yay.
7. The major breakthrough in therapy yesterday.
8. That I slept a long time last night,
9. And it was good.
10. And I had such interesting dreams.
11. And when I would awaken, I FELT so good.
12. My body felt good
13. My breasts felt good.
14. My mind as at ease
15. I awakened ok.
16. And reset the alarm.
17. But basically stayed awake during that time anyway.
18. Feeling okay.
19. I was playing a piece in that last dream. Sort of a mix of Schubert’s Ava Maria and Mendelssohn’s Song without Words.
20. And it was beautiful.
21. And I awakened humming it.
22. My iPhone
23. My piano at home
24. My piano in the classroom
25. The time I got to play on the most magnificent piano. Probably $80,000.00 The tone was gorgeous. But the feel – was PERFECT for me.
26. That I played on a piano on which *Chopin * had played!
27. At Victoria Dreyfus house! Yes, of the Dreyfus foundation!
28. Where I visited her. What a day.
29. She was immobile. And was lying on a devan in her bedroom, expected our visit, my next door neighbor (grown-up) and I (maybe 15 years old).
30. That has now been “museumed”…
31. She had a box that Napoleon gave Josephine
32. And a very large painting. I don’t know 6 ‘ by 4 ‘ or something. That had been smuggled out of Russia during the war! And hidden for decades! Omg what treasures I saw. And of course that piano.
33. And I played on Billy Joel’s own personal piano. From his living room, not a concert hall. A custom made Beckstein.
34. My Petroff. The Yamaha in my classroom has a better bigger tone, actually. But the keys are VERY hard to play. Plus, at the time, the one I picked was EXACTLY what *I * needed.
35. Plus it DOES have a nice tome. My tuner/technician, an old-world Italian craftsman, who rebuilds Steinways, has two, and is a Petroff specialist, loves my Petroff at home. He says, “That is a good piano. What you give it, it gives back to you.” (My piano teacher does not like it. But she has a 100 year old Steinway with THE BEST bass we have EVER heard, including on concert stages.
36. This class.
37. The possibility of getting a Ph.D.
38. I doubt that I will. Money! Time! … But I COULD.
39. I am grateful that I can appreciate playing beautiful music. (I DON’T so much appreciate listening to it, like on the radio: (
40. I am grateful that summer is coming. Oh boy, do I need it!
41. I am grateful for fans
42. And for my hair
43. And oh so grateful that I can see
44. I am grateful that I have a desk in a big classroom, not a cube. Is better for me.
45. The children’s computer program “One More Story.”
46. And that I knew the woman who developed it.
47. My friendship with MA.
48. MA loves and values ME – not my ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
49. My friendship with M, who is like my real sister.
50. M loves and values ME – not my ACCOMPLISHMENTS
51. My friendship with A. However long it does or doesn’t last.
52. I am in a good transition, I think.
53. Organic frozen veggies
54. Fresh veggies
55. That my birdy boys eat fresh veggies
56. The way Jewel looks at me now
57. He trusts me
58. Comes to my finger readily.
59. Lets me move him up close to my face…
60. Summer follows not too far behind
61. My dr. yesterday.
62. And the revelation I had
63. And A. didn’t get that but it can’t take it away from me.
64. That I am able to look at my accomplishments, as my dr. USED TO SAY to do. But NOW – I MUST MOVE past, INTO LOOKING AT Myself. I am pissed that he didn’t tell me that so long ago, but I am glad for the now.
65. The children’s book, “Zucchini.”
66. The children’s book, that I didn’t read ‘til adulthood, “The Secret Garden.”
67. The children’s book, that I highly recommend for all adults, “Koko’s Kitten.”
68. The children’s picture book, “My Island Grandma.”
69. The book, “Rebecca
70. The book, “Jane Eyre
71. The book, “The Favored Child
72. The book, “The Kite Runner
73. The book, The Kitchen House
74. The book, the Help
75. The book, “Death in the Morning.” It was NOT a very good book, but it was the first one I read after my divorce, when coulnd’t read or such a long while.
76. The phrase, “Just do the next right thing.”
77. That I don’t mind that L. is dating (I think he is.) Because *I * DON’T want him that way.
78. Skating. When I ws little
79. Coming home from school when weather permitted, and getting out my roller skates and putting them on over my shoes, the metal skates, with the metal key.
80. How much shy I am than I used to be.
81. Innocence
82. Jesus
83. Religious artifacts when I ws little
84. Some of my teachers.
85. My mouth.
86. I can eat with it
87. Drink with it
88. Talk with it
89. Kiss with it
90. It is pretty enough
91. I have a healthy tongue
92. Good strong ad straight teeth.
93. These lessons the psychologist gives my class
94. My eyeglasses
95. My hearing
96. That I can do physical and mental things at once. Like hands on keyboard, feet on pedals, brain on the music.
97. That I always loved walking
98. And that I still can walk so much!
99. I PROBABLY ( I know there are no guarantees) have more years of life
100. And I am ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL that I WANT to. Phew.