100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful for these and more: 1. Birdie, on my blog 2. That J is helping me SO MUCH with my mother! 3. That I have today, to do the things *I * NEED to do. For ME! 4. That L loves me, I think. 5. That I am orgasmic 6. That my doctor came here yesterday. 7. And it was a very good session 8. That I made awesome tacos 9. That I sneaked in collards! 10. And FRESH salsa with tomatoes, garlic, onions, and cilantro. 11. And even garlic hummus! 12. And LOTS of protein 13. And spices. 14. And whole grain. 15. And yum. 16. I am grateful for the sweet, healthy, delicious honeydew melon I had yesterday and the day before. 17. That Birdie mentioned mindful eating books. 18. The nice specialty cantaloupe I have for today and tomorrow. 19. That I am going away this weekend! Again! 20. Tomorrow = ocean beach with L. 21. Sat. = city with L 22. Then dinner with L and friends 23. Sunday = beach with L and friends 24. Monday I’ll come home and Mon eve do colonoscopy prep 25. I’m grateful insurance will cover 26. And that tomorrow am I’ll take my mother shopping. 27. That I can wear a bathing suit 28. That I’m going out there instead of them coming here, as they’d considered, this weekend. Good. 29. That I’ll have sex this weekend. Yay : ) 30. My sponsor 31. My laptop 32. That my school computer still works. It’s very old and rickety, but if they need to, they’ll repair or replace it for work pruposes. 33. That I WILL get done all I need to today. Somehow. WILL. 34. Prayer 35. God 36. My washer 37. And dryer 38. And place to hang clothes downstairs 39. My dishwasher 40. And microwave 41. That this 100 grats practice is SO good for me! 42. K 43. That I just emailed her 44. That O might pick me up from my colonoscopy 45. That MA calls me so frequently now 46. That I GET phone calls. Not just lonely all the time stuff. 47. That I have the For Today book 48. The book 50 Shades of Grey. I think it’s trashy, but it is sort of bringing women together in a sisterhood sort of way. 49. This, from today’s Voices of Recovery: “I spent years thinking that if I just looked a certain way, ate certain things, avoided eating certain things, I could be happy despite any problems life threw my way.” Yes. Because I was more unhappy when I was thin! 50. Everyone who has helped me. Including K. 51. And Birdie 52. And EJ 53. And JJ 54. And MA 55. ML 56. S 57. St 58. O 59. M 60. Ka 61. My mother 62. J 63. L 64. Sponsor and doctor 65. Principals 66. Ch 67. Ezekial bread 68. Oatmeal 69. Organic collards 70. That the insurance paid people are going to be with my mother for a while, saving a small fortune 71. That she is doing well physically. For today 72. The Roseanne show repeats 73. The Two and a Half Men early repeats too 74. And Seinfeld 75. That I had a GOOD piano practice today! 76. That L is enjoying a day at the beach today! 77. The question, “What’s good for me?” 78. The phrase, “Just do the next right thing.” 79. Thich Nhat Hanh 80. His monks and nuns 81. And particularly the 2 male and one female ones who really helped me personally. 82. Ooh, I love this phrase from today’s Language of Letting Go: “Today, I will begin acting in my best interests.” 83. And this: “I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me.” 84. And this: “I will do this with the understanding that sassing if a thing s good for me will ultimately help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices.” 85. That yesterday I finished that part of the school-work: the deadline part. 86. That I can breathe on my own. 87. That I have plenty of access to fresh, clean water. 88. That I can see! 89. That I can walk 90. That I have plenty of gas for the car 91. That I have a salary 92. That I can save a little bit 93. That I have shelter; a home 94. That I have a voice. I remember when I didn’t 95. That I am a member of the Community of Interbeing 96. That I am not terrified today 97. That I am not lonely all the time anymore. 98. That I have hobbies 99. Compassion, and everyone who has it. 100. The help K gave me in this spiritual work stuff 101. That I might join M’s gym and take dance classes with her.