Feelings Work

I feel: Disappointed. That I didn't come today, despite all that L. did! Why? That's TWO times now. NOOOOO! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before! Too much pressure putting on self? What to do? Oh no. I am also grateful, and lucky, and happy, and looking forward to so many things, and happy to be here and doing this right now. But distressed about THAT! I think it is because: Pressuring self? Not long enough since last very intense one? Scared that "take too long?" Scared that he is feeling obligated? Not feeling that he really wants me? (stupid) Don't really know. What I'll do differently next time. I don't know! Maybe try to get us to do it at night, in the dark. Maybe find way to relax more. Maybe NOT SKIP my spiritual work. Or exercise. And I'll be in better "shape." ? 5 Good Things about Me 1. I enjoy many things 2. I am kindhearted 3. I am a good enough conversationalist 4. And a good enough listener 5. I am more "on top of" things now. like garbage, and housekeeping, and cooking.