My One Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful for these and more: 1. That L was SO affectionate last night! 2. And SO sexual this morning 3. That HE INITIATED! 4. That he is trying EVERYTHING. Like, a friend told me that he told him about opening car doors, and he ALWAYS does that for me now! 5. I am so grateful that I am happy with him. 6. And that I have bought 5 pair of comfy shoes and sneakers! Because apparently, on the weekends, I am often a “city girl.” For anyone who hasn’t experience with New York City, those people are FAST! I am, at heart, a – well – I don’t know. A suburban girl, I suppose! Who loves the country and loves the city, but a suburban girl. Used to riding in CARS. Not RUNNING for subways and busses etc.! So, I finally have comfy shoes that are cute too. And of course, shoes LAST. Especially me. I am very easy on shoes. (And jewelry). So I can afford to spend. 7. PLUS they were on a GREAT sale! 50 – 70 percent off! 8. I am grateful that I FINALLY had the wherewithal to empty the thing hanging on the inside of what used to be J’s closet door. And put my shoes in there. No more loose shoes and/or boxes out on the floor and/or cluttered floor of closet. It is a very small house, with only 2 teeny closets total, the little tiny closet floor space is prime real estate indeed! 9. I am grateful that I have made coffee here for myself this morning 10. And that L has made a VitaMix drink for himself of grapefruit and lemon and cranberries and strawberries and ginger. 11. And that he has offered me some. 12. And that I tasted it and it is delicious and healthy. 13. For the internet. Because I couldn’t come the last two times he tried! : ( And maybe I can find out what to do about it. 14. I am grateful for music 15. Especially classical music 16. And for my newfound appreciation of 20th and 21st century music 17. Pictures 18. Cameras 19. Camera on cell phone 20. My iPhone 21. Photos 22. That L sends me some 23. That I slept some last night 24. That he was interested in my dreams 25. That I am HERE, AWAY, on VACATION, this weekend. 26. That J called to ask if I’d be OKAY if he went away next weekend +, for about 5 days, and turned off his phone. Meaning that anything that happened with my mother, I would have to deal with without him. 27. That I said of course! 28. That although I had a SPECKLE, it was ONLY a speckle, of not knowing – will he be with a woman? Where is he going? . . . 29. And, although I’m embarrassed about this, I’m grateful that it turned out he wants to go to the Buddhist monastery for the few days. 30. That he is not taking my money so far! Oh, thank God for that. 31. That we are being so supportive of each other! 32. That I’m not desperate! Oh, thank God, at long last, I am not feeling desperate. 33. I am not desperate for L 34. I am not desperate for J 35. I am not desperate to not be alone. I WANT to not be alone, but I am not desperate not to! 36. I love sex with L. I love it very very much. But I am grateful that I feel there is so much MORE to US than sex. 37. (And, that I love sex with him, too: ) 38. Piano practice. 39. And that L has said I can practice here. I forgot my music this time, but what fun! 40. And that I told O that sometimes it “saves me.” 41. And that she got it. Nodded and nonchalantly said, “Me too.” 42. That I have found that “Language of Letting Go” reading online today. 43. And the one called “Food for Thought.” Yay. Wow. 44. That I am ABLE to do this happy “work” here. L at his desktop computer doing his music stuff, and me at my laptop doing this. 45. That I am really excited about EXERCISE! 46. And have some equipment in my home! 47. And THREE gyms from which to choose. 48. That I have now found also, the “Each Day a New Beginning” reading. 49. Harps 50. This frozen banana. Wow. I have never had anything like it! It is like a creamy frozen ice cream, that sweet and all. Nothing but an organic banana, ripened to the stage of the skin spotting, then peeled and frozen in like a Saran Wrap. And being eaten the next day. 51. The pretty Russian I’m hearing spoken by a woman, from L’s computer right now. 52. That ALL of those readings today are so great! 53. That I have cooked that great soup. 54. And written down the recipe. 55. And that great taco stuff. 56. And written down the recipe. 57. And frozen some of both! Because when school starts, I might well be exhausted, and this way I already have some good lunches/dinners ready to nuke and eat! 58. And I’ll make a pasta veggie bake dish and freeze too. 59. And I’m so grateful that I gave 3 big portions of the soup to my mother. And she loved it. 60. And one of them was for Ma, too. 61. Plumvillage.org 62. Shostokovich’ 10th Symphony 63. And that I’ve just heard for the first time 64. And the story of him encoding his own signature and that of his paramour into the 3rd movement. 65. And that L is teaching me these things, which I LOVE learning. 66. That my bladder works. 67. And my intestines. 68. And that I bought magazines for the colonoscopy “prep” Mon eve 69. And that O will pick me up from it! 70. That Jo and S have both had them too 71. That if I really do scrimp and save, maybe I can go to France next year! 72. And maybe just maybe L will come too. 73. And even S and J?! 74. Or at least for part of it. 75. That I went to London this year!!!!! 76. By myself!!!!! 77. And enjoyed every moment!!!! I am still so grateful for that. 78. That I might well get to meet L’ aunt. She is quite elderly, and has terminal cancer, but we’d like to meet each other. 79. That I sent Jo the Five Mindfulness Trainings just now, as she’d wanted. 80. And O, the Russian music site. 81. And the info about Shostokovich’s 10th 82. That even at my poorest, I have always had ENOUGH. Enough food, shelter, water, medical. 83. That we (4, L, Jo, S and I) saw the movie, Hope Springs last night. 84. And we ALL, with our different genders and tastes, liked it. 85. That I have a piano 86. And that I paid for it myself. 87. Dancing. 88. That I’ve taken some ballroom dancing lesons. 89. Electricity 90. Lights 91. Eyeglasses 92. My eyesight! 93. Garbage pick-up 94. Showers 95. That I’m finally taking them here, too. 96. That I have a suitcase. 97. And that M bought it for me! 98. That maybe instead of bringing 2 bags, I’ll put everything in THAT from now on. Phew. 99. That M gave me such good advice about L early on. 100. And had me sleep over those two desperate times. 101. And that even her ex was nice to me those times.