I am grateful:
1. i am grateful that i managed to get the load of laundry
2. i am grateful that j. called.
3. and that he offered to help me with some things. oh God bless J. I *MUST* try to NOT be sad about what is - he is not here - and/or worried about what may come to be - never talk again one day... and just appreciate the good in THIS moment. we talked. He will help a bit with some things. I can breathe again. Not great that THAT'S what helped, but be grateful that can breathe.
4. i am grateful that i have shoes
5. and boots
6. one pair cute boots and one pair for when wet out. lucky.
7. warm nightclothes
8. robes. one pretty, one warmer.
9. warm slippers.
10. detergent
11. softener
12. soap
13. shampoo
14. hand cream
15. face cream - which i use as rarely as the hand cream lol
16. my mother is alive
17. and doing very well
18. and i am doing for her today. didn't think could. but will. and am so glad will.
19. i am breathing better than an hour ago.
20. humor and laughter
21. smiles
22. inspirational posts
23. words. communication. idioms and feelings expressions.
24. that doggie is a canine good citizen
25. that J. did that for me.
26. hope. god there is hope, right? i am grateful that i have hope.
27. god
28. prayer
29. that my friend's husband was found. that's all i can say here but i am very grateful.
30. i am grateful that i have a cellar and don't have to hook up washer to sink anymore. or dishwasher either.
31. i am grateful for orgasms that i've had in life
32. and kisses too
33. and that i haven't hurt more people or hurt people more
34. signets
35. goslings
36. duckings
37. friends. men and women friends.
38. good teachers everywhere.
39. good nurses everywhere.
40. that i am not in a hospital right now
41. that when i was, i was with J, and he was there for me
42. that my dr. tries to help me
43. that i have been loved
44. i am grateful for the different kinds of love - parents - sister when had it - romantic - friendship - teachers - students
45. my hands
46. books
47. my Nook
48. my piano. and my piano lessons growing up
49. my first piano teacher. she was sweet.
50. i am grateful for my cell phone. iPhone
51. and that J got one too
52. and tall the walks we took together
53. roseanne show repeats. i know, i shouldn't, but i do feel a little better when they're on...
54. i am grateful that i have never been shot
55. or stabbed
56. or in a hold-up. i know people who have
57. dogs
58. all people who help dogs
59. all people who help any animals
60. that i have never stolen a car
61. that i am not a genuine hoarder
62. that maybe L will get some help
63. and partly because of me
64. sweaters
65. socks
66. lipsticks
67. that i have hair. I have a friend with alopecia. I am lucky to have hair.
68. every time i am NOT too hard on myself
69. i am grateful that i have a backyard.
70. and a front yard too. some people do have one and not the other.
71. and that i "have" trees.
72. and bamboo! nice.
73. clothes
74. that i was in the salt water this past summer
75. and lived through the really bad wave-experience. not kidding.
76. the person who saved me when i was like 12, in the wave really bad experience! (i don't want to go in the waves anymore!)
77. whispers
78. affection
79. that i work with children and get loving innocent hugs
80. little E in my class
81. i'm grateful for dishes and flatware and cups and the 3-4 glasses i have
82. wine. and that it doesn't call to me so that although i can enjoy it, i haven't had any in over a week and don't care at all.
83. that although i have some around and am allowed to take it, i haven't had a valium since like may or june
84. that my mother raised me with class and manners and social graces (believe it or not lol)
85. the long-dress piano parties i used to have
86. fran drescher. she is cheerful for me.
87. everyone who is and has ever been compassionate with me
88. that i lived through the bad hosp. mistakes that were made on me
89. every time i've not been lonely
90. every dinner out
91. every movie
92. that i can walk. and drive.
93. that i have flown in airplanes. safely.
94. that i have exercised
95. the laundry is done. now all i have to do is flick the dryer on again in about an hour.
96. i'm grateful that it feels better to do than not to do
97. that walking up the basement stairs i felt ok. oh thank God for any second when i feel okay. and may i use any second when i don't, for the good of others somehow.
98. cubism
99. kandinsky. and that i have two of his prints
100. maybe i CAN get done all that i need to today! it isn't so much, its' just where i AM. internally. but i think i CAN. and J did help with the little list. making it manageable.
101. hangers
102. a place to HANG laundry. I used to have to drape it all over the apartment!
103. that i don't use the dry cleaner anymore.
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