My 100 Gratitudes Today

I am depressed. Scared. Anxious. Worried. Almost hopeless. So I will think of 100 things for which I'm grateful, no matter how basic.

I am grateful:

1. I am not and never have been in a concentration camp. I have friends whose parents were, and I do not take this lightly.
2. I am not and have never been in prison. Haven't committed the crimes, and haven't been imprisoned mistakenly.
3. I do not have cancer.
4. I do not have any dread disease (that I know of).
5. A. making me laugh yesterday. Laughing out loud.
6. M's love.
7. That I keep trying to do the next right thing.
8. I ate well yesterday.
9. And plan to again today. And have ready the things I need to.
10. MA
11. J offering to help.
12. I can see.
13. I can breathe.
14. I can walk.
15. I can drive.
16. I have a home. Little, needs work a lot, but it is shelter.
17. With heat.
18. And electricity.
19. And a washing machine.
20. And a dryer.
21. And a dishwasher.
22. A shower.
23. Sinks
24. Bathtub
25. Toilet
26. Toilet paper
27. Napkins
28. Coffee
29. Coffee maker
30. Microwave
31. Toaster oven
32. Stove
33. Refrigerator
34. Lamps
35. Even fireplace
36. Hot water heater
37. can type
38. have degrees
39. parents paid for college
40. i am alive
41. i am young enough to still have a life
42. i can exercise
43. i have a treadmill even
44. and a dvd player for it. what wealth!
45. homemade healthy veggie wh. flour pizza
46. casserole i threw together yesterday - protein spinach onion healthy spices salsa...
47. salad. with healthy spring mix and spinach and baby kale. all organic. so fortunate! really! this is sinking in!
48. access to plenty of water.
49. whole grains
50. protein
51. veggies
52. that i was introduced to collards all those years ago. in the portuguese potato soup. i love collards.
53. flowers
54. paintings
55. museums. i have been to museum of nat. hist, and met, and gugenheim, and noia, and national academy, and indian museum, and about 4 in my county, and smithsonian, and the TATE in LONDON!
56. I have seen sculptures by degas and rodin...
57. paintings by picasso and renoir and rembrandt and pollack . . .
58. artifacts that are thousands of years old
59.i am grateful for the healthy things B and I used to cook together.
60. and for the friendship of Ch all those years
61. and that i googled first hubby and he is doing so well. i am happy for him.
62. for my piano
63. for IMing
65. and email
66. and Vegetarian Times magazine
67. and Prevention magazine
68. that i used to do cheerleading
69. and my body responded so well
70. that i can read
71. that i loved to so much even in kindergarten
72. U'm grateful for every nice thing i do for kids and have ever done for kids
73. and for every penny i've ever given to charity
74. grateful that yesterday i read this hint about the all natural peanut butters - you know - with the oil all on top. And i try to avoid them but when have them, dump into bowl nd stir stir stir need butter knife to do... do not like doing it. And this hint said just store the bottle upside down before first time open it! So I'm doing that now. it should settle...
75. that i have lived to this age
76. that my necessary - really it was necessary - had had two shots and two little surgeries to try to avoid - was bleeding to death - it became an emergency - hysterectomy went so well
77. and that J helped me so much with recovery
78. i'm grateful that i have this laptop
79. and for the times j and i did jigsaw puzzles together
80. i'm actually grateful for the happiness my students have in their lives in and out of school
81. and that i have a job
82. and that it's this job
83. the bit of self-esteem from accomplishing
84. that i am fair. and more. like "the quality of mercy seasons justice."
85.that i have two bits of shakespeare memorized
86. that i actually got to go to the place in the world where i've always MOST wanted to see! England! hard to even believe i was THERE
87. pictures. i have the pics. so grateful for pics
88. the oak tree outside my window. i can see it right now.
89. all the poetry i've ever memorized. yeah, really
90. i am grateful that jo called me because i'm depressed
91. and that i also spoke with m today
92. and that L. emailed me with loving thoughts too
93. my homemade pizza. That i made it yesterday.
94. and that i used whole wheat flour and whole oat flour and a little white flour and topped it with veggies! yum
95. i am grateful that i don't feel as bad as i did an hour ago!
96. i am grateful that my belly right now has healthy food in it.
97. and that i'm TRYING to tell myself enough is enough. that that was a portion and that is enough.
98. for this blog.
99. for everyone who reads it.
100. and that maybe i'm helping them too