I am grateful:
1. Going to tea with my mother just now. What a fabulous time! I’m *so * glad we went! I never want to miss another opportunity again!
2. Her sharing with me about my 1st husb having asked her for money! : (
3. And his mother calling her because he lived “in a dump” while I was still in the house
4. And my mother having told her it was *my * money that bought the house!
5. And me sharing lots with her about 3 friends.
6. And her being able to go
7. And even treating me
8. And her telling J yesterday that she’s going to give me (us) money for a furnace etc.
9. And J taking her to the bank yesterday so that I could go to the brahma thing
10. And that I went
11. And that it was fabulous
12. And that I’ve been to two meetings this weekend
13. And at the first one, people called me brave
14. And they extended themselves to me
15. And it was a very positive, recovery-filled, recovery-oriented meeting
16. And at the second one someone said that they had heard in the rooms, “Whatever you put before your program, you will lose,” as he had lost his job.
17. That I think I understand that now. Because if I put something before my recovery, I actually *can’t * attend to it because of the very fact that I’m *not * recovered/recovering/working enough on recovery. That’s while I’ll lose it.
18. That I heard this before it’s too late for hope for me and J.
19. That I went out for lunch with 5 women after the meeting.
20. That I had Chinese food
21. That it was only 7 dollars
22. That I was able to take half home
23. That it was good, and veggie and protein and whole grain
24. That I, and I think we, had a nice time
25. That I was able to take my mother shopping
26. That we both got all the groceries we need
27. That I didn’t overspend as much last week or this
28. That I came home and put the stuff away before taking her for tea
29. That I intend to have her here soon!
30. That I have potatoes and an onion boiling right now, for homemade potato soup.
31. That I realize now that it is a meal and not a first course! As it always was, years back, a meal.
32. That I got the collards for 1 dollar less, and am using them right away
33. That I am not hungry right now! I ate lunch about 5 or 5 ½ hours ago, and feel that I can easily wait for the potato soup for dinner
34. That tomorrow is professional development all day, so although I’ll stop down and say hi to my kids, it will be a little break
35. That Fri afternoon at professional development, I did well
36. And enjoyed it
37. And that we get to *have * professional development now!
38. That I might start practicing again and take one piano lesson a month
39. That I will probably either have N come once a month or twice just to get me up to par, and/or I will start cleaning, myself!
40. That I will do a load of laundry tonight or tomorrow and fell better about myself for it
41. That I bought coffee at the supermarket so I have it for tomorrow
42. That I didn’t really need it today or yesterday, although I had some
43. That today’s was free, at the meeting
44. That the man yesterday taught a new to me way of meditating, but very in line with mindfulness meditation
45. That he started getting better later than earlier in life too, and is so happy now
46. That I may have found the place to go for a couple of days (depending on price) for some more healing
47. Mich, all those years ago, at phys. therapy, and how she helped me
48. My first times with K, in D.F., and how those helped me
49. That J found her for me
50. That J lived through the big throat cancer scare
51. And his quarantine high fever illness last year
52. And that M. made plans for me during that time
53. That I haven’t killed myself, yet, and maybe never will.
54. That I have friends. Irl friends
55. That MA’s heart is good!
56. And her blood pressure too!
57. That she introduced me to that show I now watch and unwind and enjoy on Sat evenings
58. That I don’t think I’ve been straining any friends with my misery
59. That yesterday and today the weather was and is beautiful
60. That Ph has seemed okay, happy enough since here Fri afternoon, and has asked me to pet her and I have: )
61. That I leave amazingly good sub plans
62. That my parents paid for college for me
63. That my masters was so inexpensive
64. That I had kept all those notebooks, and was able to study for the comps
65. That J supported me in doing so
66. That my allergy pill worked/works and quickly too
67. That I have lost 8 pounds now
68. That I really think I am going to start exercising like this week
69. That there is still hope for my life
70. That I took a chance and walked over to that table at lunchtime yesterday and asked if I might join them
71. And they were so nice about it
72. And I, and I think we, had a nice time
73. And the lunch the people had there was vegan! And Indian spiced. Yum.
74. And then I even had a homemade wh wh roll later
75. And it was all delicious
76. And didn’t set me off emotions-wise or eating-wise
77. That I did more on the blanket
78. And might do more tonight
79. And should finish within a week
80. That Jo should be able to show me how to make other pages for this blog, like one for recipes and one for what I ate today, or whatever
81. That so many people gave me so much love on the vb
82. And they dedicated their meditation to me Friday
83. And two people e-mailed me to tell me about it
84. And maybe I can go back there just in certain capacities
85. And my dr gave me an assignment to advertise!
86. That I’ve been cooking in the kitchen (before starting grats and again just now) without tv or anything and felt good doing – felt good during
87. That L’s family has apparently stayed safe throughout the earthquake and tsunami
88. That I heard a story of survival and being saved from it on today’s news
89. That I learned something from that dvd No Arms, No Legs, No Problem
90. That I haven’t watched any tv so far today
91. That I got to both meetings by myself
92. That there is hope I’ll become a whole person
93. That I straightened a lot of the filthy kitchen today
94. That I am eating greens every day now
95. That I think I’ve been “abstinent” for about a week or two or so, mostly
96. That I’m reading that Step 4 book now. I think it will help/is helping
97. The particular two vbers who e-mailed me, and the third who does lately, and the other two who sometimes do
98. That female J e-mails me
99. And prays for me
100. That I have a home
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