My Hundred Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. S. answering the phone yesterday
2. Her compassion
3. Her agreeing to meet me
4. Her deciding to come down here to meet
5. Her sharing with me of herself
6. Her listening
7. Her listening with heart
8. Her ideas etc
9. How much better I felt!
10. I actually felt that life is worth living, last night
11. And I felt that it’s ok to sometimes just watch tv or something
12. And I got more incentive to give to self, to make life for self
13. And I still feel those ways today!
14. That she got me the tea and put the sugar in
15. And even paid for it
16. My time alone at the train station and noticing people
17. S. saying *everybody * has shit they have to fight
18. Movies – I think I’ll see one soon, even by myself!
19. Today is out with J and my mom
20. I am thankful for Indian food
21. And for S saying she has learned to cook it – without even knowing I love it
22. And her talking about cutting out those subway pictures she loved and buying frames and putting them up
23. And offering to buy me a GPS!
24. Me. calling twice yesterday
25. St returning my call. I do wish she’d answer her phone, but I’m grateful that she returns the call
26. MA enjoying opera
27. Ph in bed last night
28. And so cuddly today
29. And me giving her her am treat
30. Yesterday, our walk to and in the park
31. Her running on the field
32. And coming when I called
33. Good meeting yesterday, and at tables, which I prefer
34. Have been eating better
35. Raw kale. I’m so grateful for it
36. Comfort food last night
37. Just chillin watchin 2 and a half men and falling asleep
38. A night of sleep
39. Waking up
40. That I’m alive. That I woke up. That I didn’t kill myself. Yay.
41. Growing *through * the stuff, as I am doing now. Not trying to escape by cutting around it, or numb myself by eating through it
42. How I start my mornings now!
43. Mos., and the med. Stuff
44. Joa and Mar and Sha and Ba etc offering me birthday wishes!
45. Faceook
46. The feeling I get when I walk
47. More nice weather coming, and that means more walking, yay
48. I feel okay right now! I feel okay right now!
49. Every breath I take
50. More details about mornings:
Prayer p 215
3rd step prayer
For Today
Voices of Recovery
100 Gratitudes
Sponsor call (except for Sundays)
10 minutes mindfulness meditation
Thank you God, for all of this
51. That my brain is able to formulate words
52. That I am facing my dependency/co-dependency
53. That today is Sunday
54. That I sleep every night
55. And wake up to – or even before – the alarm
56. Comedies
57. Have had 6 conferences and have all gone well
58. I am a good teacher
59. Soon MA, ML, and S and I will do a lunch. Maybe next Saturday
60. I was able to renew my dvd. Another first
61. I have done laundry, put out garbage, and gotten and returned and renewed books and dvds from library and found my way to new place in Pel without calling J
62. And made the l.r. nicer
63. I have plenty of protein and veggies and fruits and grains. What wealth!
64. I am going to fix the den within a week
65. And clean this place within two, or get someone else to do it – maybe N for a one time or once a month thing
66. And get my budget in order to get some stuff done outside. I can do it!
67. Am seeing friends more, and will continue to, even more and more
68. Sitting in different parts of l.r. Really
69. Am going to get log and have fire later today for self
70. Enjoyed whole little teapot of blooming tea yesterday for self
71. Shakespeare
72. Ronne
73. Watching a bit of Other Bolyn Girl yesterday
74. ***Not seeing everything through an actual, physical fog anymore!!!
75. Embroidery. I love it. I love doing it; I love looking at it. I shall do more.
76. That I can wear my B. necklace every single day
77. That I can actually like a piece of jewelry that is not from J or any guy (at different stages in my life)
78. That the world looks brighter today
79. The first time I saw a Royal Doulton, with my mother at B.F’s about-to-be-married first apartment. Black and white Autumn Breezes. My heart was engaged. I asked my mother what that was. She told me. And I started getting them.
80. Those days I used to spend walking and walking around Cr.Co. Just walking and window shopping and enjoying
81. And the special Wanamaker days. When They sold nice jewelry, Royal Doultons, embroidery, and hardcover books. How I loved to go there
82. And Wilskers. And the two little roast beef sandwiches (pre-vegan days) I’d get. And I even enjoyed going there alone, and reading through lunch
83. That I had enough money to do those things
84. La Crepe. And going there with Suzanne those times
85. When I was a teen and mother or father would take me to Lord and Taylors and I or they would tell the saleswoman that I am (was) a size 6, did not like gray or green, and needed a wardrobe. And I would lit on a loveseat or devan thing and two of them would go about different departments and put things together and bring them to me
86. Jim when my father died, and how good he was to me
87. I can budget and get nice clothes again, even if used, or even if very few but good quality, or very cheap but more of them
88. That I donate
89. That I ran the Food Patch for years
90. That my class at St. B. always had the most for the Thanksgiving for the poor drive
91. That I got to see myself in the dvds J had made, me little and so exhuberant on the stage
92. All the times I used to sit on the sofa at Baj place and read
93. And while reading my mother would be in the kitchen cooking
94. That I would do my college work upstairs at my desk-with-the-hutch and built-in light, and hear and smell dinner being cooked from downstairs.
95. That life is worth living!
96. Friends! Oh, glorious friends, and my ability to appreciate them now (again)
97. Friends when I was little
98. Lassie show when I was little
99. Topo Gigio when I was little
100. Disney show when I was little
Thank you, God