100 Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. That yesterday’s workshop was nice.
2. That K’s and 1’s will probably use it
3. That 2’s might find a little way to
4. That I got home safely
5. That I was able to stop at the library
6. That I was able to stop at the drugstore
7. That I got 2 prescriptions
8. That I will probably get the other two Wednesday
9. That although I got a ticket, I didn’t get in an accident, and I *can * pay the parking ticket – I’d rather not have gotten it of course, but at least it’s sort of a “luxury problem”
10. That I hadn’t left Ph in the yard, which I first feared when she wasn’t here
11. That I was able to call MA when I was so depressed, scared, nervous
12. That when she got tied up with R, I was able to realize to take a valium; that’s why they’re there
13. That my little talk with j went well and left me feeling hopeful
14. That J is able to function
15. That he has this week at that house with the 2 dogs and no other person; it might be good for him
16. That the valium worked
17. That coffee works in the mornings
18. That I got to talk with my mother yesterday (and every day)
19. That maybe she’ll get to come here for dinner soon – within two weeks
20. That I had my father for as long as I did
21. That I offered to drive the leader of our workshop home yesterday, when it snowed, and to get her safely to the car because of her leg braces
22. That she shared her inspirational story about the neurological disease
23. That I didn’t get that when I kept working and turned out to have pneumonia too
24. That I’ve lived through every illness
25. That MA ‘gets’ me
26. That someone sent her and she sent me and I sent on that beautiful prayer e-mail
27. That I’m not frozen every minute like I was for those months
28. That I’m not frozen in the way I was in the summer when J would be out
29. That there is hope still
30. Bright people
31. M. telling them to make sure there was something for me at lunch. They didn’t exactly, I mean they tried, but lettuce doesn’t do it for me at lunch, but that didn’t matter because I’d brought, and the point is she asked
32. And that they did try
33. That I’m not counting points
34. That I don’t have MS
35. That there was a variety of people in that room with us yesterday, because that school from the other place was there
36. That I learned the stuff and was good at it and was considered good at it
37. That I’m not on the vb right now. I love many people there, but I need to be irl and I was too “speeded up” when I was on there. It was kind of altering. Not the people – the way I used it
38. That A mentioned borderline personality Sun, and some of what it is. I think I might have it. It gives me something to talk about to dr and to work on. Work on sounds too negative. To gentle myself over
39. That I crocheted last night
40. And might just finish this blanket on time for the baby (in a few days!)
41. That whole circle story
42. That I can drop off my computer today if I want
43. And still come home and crochet
44. And have movies if I want (like 4, from the library)
45. And get sleep tonight
46. That I got sleep last night
47. That I was warm and dr through the cold and rain and snow yesterday
48. That my mother will get acupuncture today
49. That once again the coffee is affected my mood for the better this morning
50. That I have shared the 100 gratitudes a day idea with more people now (like on Sat at that workshop
51. That a couple/few times yesterday I was able to remember about attitude (from that workshop on Sat) and kind of, “What if my attitude is that everything is perfect in my world. That God has given me everything I need.” I’m not saying it exactly as the workshop leader did at all, but it helped me for example walking up the ramp at one point.
52. That I have the opportunity to call my mother and wake her this morning
53. That she will get acupuncture today
54. That it helped her so much last time
55. That we can expect it to this time as well
56. That J told her about it
57. And pushed her
58. And she finally did say yes. Thank you, God
59. That I remembered to thank God last night
60. That the “Biggest Losers” might come together at school and continue doing things and helping each other
61. Vegetarian Times magazine
62. That one M gave me, and that I still have one new copy of it to open
63. That I was able to do laundry last night, the gasoline clothes
64. That I was able to make coffee this morning and no mishaps
65. So many miracles in one day, wow! That I’m noticing them more now.
66. That I’m beginning to be more grown up
67. That I have people to call when I’m down, and do not feel so alone. Some I could talk to about being down, some I could be social with: MA, ML, S, St, Me, O, Mau, L, Sh, my mother, Mar, Rh, Mar, Am, everyone from meetings
68. That despite the stupid parking ticket yesterday, which was one mistake/setback and I will learn from it, I am being more frugal now
69. That twice now, when I was upset at night, I thought of doing another 100 gratitudes. I didn’t wind up doing, but I thought to and I’m glad
70. I am grateful for every rehab place out there
71. And again, for CoDA. Because I remember, for example, when I thought I should go to a food rehab place and didn’t *because I was afraid J wouldn’t miss me and would like life better without me. * That was *not * a reason to make that decision! And there he is anyway. I *cannot * control another person or their feelings, and must be reminded of/taught that. Because again, like I heard this weekend, “Whatever you put before your program, you will lose.”
72. That I am (beginning to realize?) realizing the things about myself that are painful to acknowledge but must be acknowledged, like the desperation for his attention, that infantilized me, ouch.
73. That I don’t have to do it alone.
74. That people at the real estate office used to love to watch me type.
75. That day when P. thought I was “talking on phone at my desk” and I was, and apologized, and explained that I hadn’t known it wasn’t allowed during lunch. And he was so surprised that I was eating lunch at my desk and hadn’t known it was my lunchtime and appreciated me more then.
76. Similar to day St yelled at me on phone for not being able to find paper, but, I reminded him, I was at *his * desk looking for it, as per his instructions
77. That the rest of the house may be a mess, but the l.r. is neat. One step at a time lol
78. That I am sitting here safe and sound and alive and well and not physically diseased or paralyzed and typing my gratitudes this morning
79. I am so grateful for that woman, whose name I forget, who shared about the 100 gratitudes that day at sangha
80. And for sangha and every time we attended, at all 3 places (G’s and R. Ch and town of K)
81. That M Mc wrote back and thanked me
82. That I was awesome when the Ch were videotaping me the other day and they acknowledged great things in my class’s response and learning
83. I am grateful for the people who do share their shit. I do to an extent, but cannot about a couple of things, in the work world. But I do to close friends and the wide world (oa, formerly vb, here…) When someone does that, it helps the rest of us not feel so alone in our problems
84. I am grateful for the great philosophers and thinkers and people with great lines, some of whom I’ll list now.
85. Plato
86. Aristotle
87. Socrates
88. Emerson
89. Thoreau
90. Will Rogers
91. Ziz Zizlar
92. Victor Hugo
93. Eleanor Roosevelt
94. Helen Keller
95. Jesus, who was more than a person
96. Bill W and others there
97. Everyone who’s ever said God bless you to me
98. Nana Mouskourri shaking my hand
99. And waving to us across the street, and how much that meant to my mother
100. J being willing to wait at the stage door for her
101. My mother gently pushing me forward
102. That I got Richard Chamberlain to kiss my mother
103. That I’m not afraid to go over the 100, like as if I’ll run out!