My mother just called. Told me that J. went to Hawaii. Today. I have to ask myself. With whom. And how paid. I have my stomach on the floor like that feeling you get when someone dies. It is crazy. He is not mine. He has every right. I feel so sick. So fucking sick. I cannot believe it hits me this way. This is bad.
I am getting out of the house right now to go to ww.. Cannot stay in this.
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