1. 12:45 on April 26: I an breathe!!!!!! Finally starting to have a number of regular breaths. Oh thank God!
2. 2 coffees and one tea, hot, this morning.
3. Broccoli
4. I have another chance at life! (Since Aprl 23 insights that evening!)
5. Birds are playing SO MUCH and apparently so happily right now! 30 ninutes afer Jewel’s half hour fly-about and walk about outside of the cage.
6. I am happy here today.
7. A is fine after surgery
8. I am not obsessed about the clean-up people screwing up and even not staying to do today! I can always find another company.
9. KNOWING that!!
10. Breathing changes my mental attitude!
11. I am so happy with my birds. And they are with me.
12. That I write in Bird Journal sometimes: )
13. Ji and how kind-hearted hand understanding he always was for me
14. I let the birds out for THEM. (Only Jewel has been out so far) But it is so good for ME!!
15. Texing.
16. Cell phones
17. Sleep
18. Prescription cough syrup helping me sleep at night now
19. This was the first day Jewel came to my hand without millet in it!
20. MAYBE I won’t have to clip their wings after all. (MUST be able to get them to safety in an emergency, though. And to a vet as needed, including wellness checks).
21. Am working on that
22. Nice chat with mother today. A bit longer than lately due to the breathing issues
23. Eggplant last night
24. My legs that work.
25. My not wanting to ever rage again.
26. But not wanting to give in to poor treatment either
27. Jewel was playing a moment with the NEW toy today! Yay!
28. I am smiling. First time in a long time just a contentedsmile. What a difference berathing makes!
29. The stream with the walking rockes acroos it in my nearby park
30. The walks with J, and with dog off-leash. We had so many. I loved EVERY one!
31. And – I might get to have another soon. That will be nice. I think we might.
32. I can exercise and lose eight (Must get totally better first though)
33. Personalities. Including in birds. At pet store, it seemed like Summer was MORE active and lively and Jewel was more quiet and sweet. It turns out, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE BOTHA LL OF THOSE THINGS, Jewel is the adventurer and Summer is more timid a bit.
34. I put the extra perch in there, JUST to get them used to it so I could use it for pressing up against their underbellies to teach them “Up,” but now the get on both of those too and just face each other. The two are so close to each other almost on top of each other
35. The fresh organic greens thy are eating every day now. I am so glad they love foods good for them
36. And I think they’re eating some of the pellets too.
37. I KNOW they love millet
38. And seed
39. I usually have to clean their water dishes and change their waters 2x a day dnow, but I am grateful to. That only means they get MORE fresh water.
40. Jewel is right now on climby toy playing with swing with his beak.
41. A’s turtles. One said (it is really A writing, of course) they don’t tend to remember things from a year ago. They live today. I said, And what does that mean? What do you DO? And “he” answered, “Swim, eat, hang with my ladies; ) [There is one male and 4 females]
42. And what do Summer and Jewel do: Play, fly, eat, chat, sing, look around, solve puzzle, perch on me, enjoy a treat.
43. These are good lessons. As is doggie: She TOTALLY lives IN THE MOMENT. Enjoying EVERY SINGLE THING SHE CAN!
44. I actually – and this is one of the most embarrassing things I have EVER admitted in my life – to myself or anyone. First time, I in fact. I actually remember watching the Golden Girls show – episode about Rose’s blind sister – one of the first episodes. And at one point, she asked Rose to get her a glass of water (they were in l.r. and kitchen is next room right there). Rose answered that she could herself. She replied that Rose had said would help her, take care of her. And Rose replied, “but Lily. If you can’t get your own water, then that makes you totally dependent. And that scares me.” Something like that. And I felt a deep deep pang. Because that’s how *I * was oat the time. THAT dependent almost, on J.
45. So there was a gratitude in admitting that finally. And a great big sigh of relief
46. And there is a gratitude that I am not like that anymore.
47. It cost SO MUCH. TEARS. AGONY. LOSS ALMOST BEYOND ABILITY TO BEAR – REALLY – But – it was – gulp – worth it. I am not like that anymore.
48. Louise Hay on asthma “Unresolved guilt. Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.” That is a GREAT insight about ME!
49. And her sort of affirmation to go with it: “It is safe now for me to take charge of my own life. I choose to be free.”
50. And on breathing problems: “Fear of refusal to take in life fully. Not feeling the right to take up space or even to exist at times.” Huge. I remember that woman at the all-woman’s retreat I went to. Within such a very short time, She said to me “Lynn! You don’t have to apologize for taking up space!” Wowie.
51. With THIS: “It is my birthright to live life fully and freely. I am worth loving. I now choose to live life fully.”
52. And on broncites: “Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling. Sometimes silent. The third in a row, exactly. (This, growing up)
53. And to go with: “I declare peace and harmony within me and around me. All is well.”
54. And on glaucoma: “Stony unforgiveness. Pressure form long standing hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.”
55. And with it: “I see with love and tenderness.”
56. And that I no longer have stony unforgiveness – although I used to! Yay!
57. And I no longer have the pressure from long standing hurts. Although I used to. Yay! – I DO still feel “overwhelmed by it all.”
58. But 1) The other two changed, so this one can too
59. ! And 2) it has already started to!
60. About fat: “Represents protection. Over-sensitivity.” Yup.
61. And: “I am protected by Divine love. I am always safe and secure.”
62. Oh boy – biggy – Fatigue: “Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.”
63. And “I am enthusiastic about life and filled with energy and enthusiasm”
64. Oh boy – Fibroids “Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.”
65. And “I release the pattern in me that attracted this experience. I create only good in my life.”
66. Hay fever: “Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.”
67. And “I am one with ALL OF LIFE. I am safe.”
68. Influenza “Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.”
69. And “I am beyond groups beliefs or the calendar. I am free from all congestion and influence.”
70. And Motion Sickness: “Fear. Fear of not being in control
71. With “I am always in control of my thoughts. I am safe. I love and approve of myself.”
72. Overweight: “Fear, need for protection. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection. Seeking fulfillment.”
73. And “I am at peace with my own feelings. I am safe where I am. I create my own security. I love and approve of myself.”
74. Respiratory Ailments “Fear of taking in life fully.”
75. With “I am safe. I love my life.”
76. Throat. Remember when I couldn’t speak for the better part of 8 months. SO GLAD I am not such a VICTIM now!!!!!
77. Throat: “Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity.”
78. Throat Problems ( I had the 4 that prevented me from being able to speak): “The inability to speak up for oneself. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change.”
79. With “It’s okay to make noise. I express myself freely and joyously. I speak up for myself awith ease. I express my creativity. I am willing to change.”
80. These birdie are so able to speak out. To each other. A little to me I think (jewel) They have no problems making noise. They do not squawk – I think because theya re happy. But they chirp and talk and sing. Every since those first peeps after they were her a few hours.
81. Last year end of March into April I had London.
82. This year same time period I have birdies.
83. Louise Hay: “I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.”
84. And “Every thought we think is creating our future.”
85. And “You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.
86. And “I have never understood the importance of having children memorize battle dates. It seems like such a waste of mental energy. Instead, we could teach them important subjects such as How the Mind Works, How to Handle Finances, How to Invest Money for Financial Security, How to be a Parent, How to Create Good Relationships, and How to Create and Maintain Self-Esteem and Self-Worth. Can you imagine what a whole generation of adults would be like if they had been taught these subjects in school along with their regular curriculum?”
87. And “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”
88. And “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it”
89. And “I will not be distracted by noise, chatter, or setbacks. Patience, commitment, grace, and purpose will guide me.”
90. “When we expand our thinking and beliefs our love flows freely. When we contract we shut ourselves off. Can you remember the last time when you were in love? Your heart went ahhh!! It was such a wonderful feeling. It is the same with loving yourself except that you will never leave once you have your love for yourself.Its with you for the rest of your life, so you want to make it the best relationship that you can have.”
91. “The point of power is always in the present moment.”
92. And “No matter where we live on the planet or how difficult our situation seems to be, we have the ability to overcome and transcend our circumstances.
93. AND THIS BIGGY BIGGY BIGGY! “You are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world.”
94. And “I have noticed that the Universe loves Gratitude. The more Grateful you are, the more goodies you get.” *I * have not done gratitudes for this. I had never heard of this. But I wonder – it might actually be happening for me now!
95. And this: “In the infinity of life where I am,
All is perfect, whole and complete,
I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack, I now choose to begin to see myself
As the Universe sees me --- perfect, whole, and complete.”
96. And this: “I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.”
97. And this! “Your unique creative talents and abilities are flowing through you and are being expressed in deeply satisfying ways. Your creativity is always in demand.”
98. That day when my multi-gemstone cross got delivered here RIGHT ON Good Friday. And I put it on on our way out, J. taking me to the field where I sat in the sun and reflected while he took a walk and also sat with me some.
99. This Stitch n Zip cosmetic sized purse, which just came
100. And this one, which I have ordered
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