The Magic June 13

June 13

Count your blessings. Make a list of ten blessings. Write why you’re grateful. Reread your list, and at the end of each blessing say thank you, thank you, thank you, and feel as grateful for that blessing as you can.

I am truly blessed to have THIS morning! I awakened in funky dreams, to the alarm. Reset it and went back – to bed – ahhh not couch… - to kind of resolve. Awakened second time before the hour had passed. Eard birds outside. What a lovely sound to wake to. And opened my eyes to the calming colors of the bed and headboard and the comfort of my fabulous pillows (one expensive and one cheap lol). And – said – thank you. Said it over and over.

Because I not only said thank you, but I FELT it. Oh, thank you.

Thank you thank you thank you.

I am so happy and grateful for the things that get me into school,

because I admit I sometimes lately just don’t want to go. But we are so busy, there is always something. And I do fun and creative things, so there is always something… And – today, I have the report card information on my computer there, and I have really good healthy and not cheap lunch in fridge there. So, I shall go in.: ) Whatever it takes… lol.

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly grateful for my French lesson yesterday, because I was tempted to cancel yes I was. But I went through with it, ready to take my lumps for not having had done enough homework… But  am so glad I took the lesson,

because it wasn’t so uncomfortable, the fact that I hadn’t done “enough” hw. And I learned new things. And BECAUSE I was to have it, I did a little review yesterday. AND went ahead a litte bit (all during one short prep). And learned that rushing isn’t worth it, as I made a BIG mistake lol. But I enjoyed the lesson, I enjoyed the friendship-talk with Mr (French teacher), and she told me (again) “You have a WONDERFUL accent! Wow!” That felt great. AND – I’m excited about the hw I can do this week.

Thank you thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for the beautiful weather coming this weekend, may I get out in it.,

because it is so enjoyable and so healthy and is a gift.

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly blessed to have affordable flowers at the supermarket,

Because 

because it is such a good way to treat myself. I haven’t in a long time, and will – WILL this weekend. Will straighten again, and put out flowers. Yes.

Thank you thank you thank you.

And thank you, S, for telling me that buying flowers for self is a good way to nurture self, that rainy night when you drove down here for me when I was so depressed about J, and we met at the train station and had tea and talked. Thank you, S.

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly grateful for my principal and the great talk we had when I went in there yesterday and she wound up teaching me something that increased my compassion. Wow, thank you thank you thank you! And then on the spur of the moment later when she grabbed me in the hall, and her affection with me.

Because it is great to be appreciated. And it is great to be relaxed when talking with principal (unlike last one!). She seems to kind of “get” who I am. And I like that.

Thank you thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for my sleeping in the bed this whol week since last Sunday night,

because first of all it is just more comfortable. Secondly it is so much healthier. Third, the fact that I could be ready to, Oh! Thank God! And fourth, the fact that I had to clean up the bedroom, and did, in order to do so. Last, I’m so grateful because for the rest of my life I believe I shall sleep in a bed.

Oh, thank you thank you thank you!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for morning coffee time with gratitudes and fb,

because I AM a morning person, and I now accept more of who I am, like that. And I DO this and I enjoy this way to work up.

Also, just a few years ago, every morning – EVERY morning – I felt DESPERATE. And was like, crying and desperately copying tons of paragraphs from books in a desperate (yes I know it is 3^rd time that word) attempt to heal.

This is SO MUCH more positive            !!

Oh, thank you thank you thank you!!!

Wow.

Thank you tank you thank you!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for “turning-it-all-off-time,

because  I am ABLE to just relax sometimes now again. But without so much hiding.

Thank you thank you thank you.

I am so happy and grateful fordeep breaths. It is almost hard to believe, still, that I get them. But I DO!
Thank you thank you thank you!

Thank you thank you thank you!

2. Remember The magic by counting the blessings of yesterday and writing them down. Ask yourself the question: What are the good things that happened yesterday? Scan the surface of yesterday until you feel satisfied that you’ve remembered and written down all the blessings of the day.

1.      I did manage to wash my hair in the morning.

2.      And it looked good!

3.      Saw M on way into school and she complimented me on: my pedicure, my outfit, and my hair! That felt nice.

4.      I DID manage to get to Ma’s before school with the check. That was hard. But worked out fine. And later, was a nothing!

5.      Got to school a little bit early.

6.      I felt good. I felt good. I felt GOOD! For a WHILE!

7.      Before the parent celebration was goodish.

8.      As beginning, was enjoying. Feeling fine.

9.      During, felt good.

10.   After, mingling, felt good.

11.   Went back to class and, the kids didn’t ask, Can we have recess. No, they asked – Can we read. ! My kids ALWAYS come to love reading. Wowie.

12.   That was great. And, whil they were reading, I read a few pages of The Hero and they were good pages (in the Secret “series.”

13.   I actually felt – strong.

14.   The night before, I wanted to die. I only didn’t want kids hurt by that. But I felt that I wanted to die. But 10:00 yesterday morning, I felt strong and I felt committed to myself. I wanted my life.

15.   Lucky me I had organic greens for lunch.

16.   With a vegan egg salad sold at my health food store.

17.   Am down a touch more today, maybe 2 pounds. Finally. Phew.

18.   I have come to beliee that it was lack of greens that brought me to that place the other night. I have greens ready for today!

19.   Last night, again, as usual, I thought: Just this one time I will overeat, who cares. But I didn’t do it! As usual lately!

20.   Felt like going straight home after school yesterday but did the right thing: visited my mother. WE had a very nice visit.

21.   She shared some crap about my bitch-sister and I felt my peace go away and an anger build up. BUT – I got rid of it within under an hour I’m sure. Wow that’s great! The truth is, nothing has changed. Finding out what the bitch has been doing didn’t change that she’s been doing it. And since really I have nothing to do with her life, I shouldn’t care. So. I am grateful that I got past it! I wasn’t always able to, and certainly not so quickly!

22.   One of the excuses I was using to myself for thinking I’d not be able to go to my mother’s was that I needed to get home to find the important school folder for the office. But of course after mother-visit, when I got home, it was right there no problem.

23.   Hope.

24.   Hope regarding J. When Mr asked me if saw him, I remembered that yes, saw him just last Sat, and we had a great time together! That was nice. Nothing to panic about…

25.   Made fabulous gifts for Father’s Day with students. Took 40 minutes. Aide ran it. Great. Yay. And the kids enjoyed it so very much! And did their own creative touches.

26.   Spent 2 whole hours before school on gratitude stuff yesterday. Yay.