The Magic June 6

June 6

Count your blessings. Make a list of ten blessings. Write why you’re grateful. Reread your list, and at the end of each blessing say thank you, thank you, thank you, and feel as grateful for that blessing as you can.

I am truly blessed to have the deep breaths that come at least at some point every morning it seems, when I’m doing these grats.,

because it is such a feeling of RELIEF. And even peace inside. I just had today’s in the teens of the yesterday’s magic, and am still having.

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am so happy and grateful for more weight loss,

because I want to be prettier. Even more I want to be healthy and stay healthy. And I am eating less stuff altogether, less stuff from boxes, more veggies, and NOT EATING AT NIGHT YAY!

Thank you thank you thank you!  

I am truly grateful for J’s involvement in my life,

because I love seconds, minutes, hours with J!

Thank you thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for plans with M and her kids soon,

because plain-old it will be fun. And I remember the feeling I had as a kid when I was around an adult other than my parents who also loved me. And I am giving that to them!

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly blessed to have clothes,

because to put on prettier things feels better, and I am sure affects my mood AND my actions as well!

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am so happy and grateful for showers,

because taking one every day, whether long or quick, whether washing hair that day or not, just starts the day fresh and feels better getting dressed...

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am truly grateful for never having been in a war.

Because I am watching footage of D-Day and am aware of how lucky I am to never have had to be in a war.

Thank you thank you thank you!

With all my heart, thank you for my dear sweet birds,

because  they get to fly, they have each other, they are happy I think, they are healthy, they sing and bring joy and more life to my home. I love my birds.

Thank you thank you thank you!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for butterflies,

because they serve such a purpose and they are so beautiful and they have wonderful metaphorical meanings for us.

Thank you thank you thank you for butterflies flying about!

I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky and grateful for the relief of finishing a job, like my book and report,

because it also opens up the ability to read/do what I want!

Thank you thank you thank you!

Thank you thank you thank you!

2. Remember The magic by counting the blessings of yesterday and writing them down. Ask yourself the question: What are the good things that happened yesterday? Scan the surface of yesterday until you feel satisfied that you’ve remembered and written down all the blessings of the day.

1.      I did the right thing regarding calling my mother’s aides’ supervisor. Thank you thank you thank you.

2.      I told her what I needed to tell her. Thank you thank you thank you.

3.      Did great story telling work ewith the kiddies again. Thank you thank you thank you.

4.      I was SO nervous, that I had to go to the nurse yesterday! My pulse was pounding. I was a little concerned about my heart! I gave it some time and could not calm down! I had had the aides and supervisor stuff, the trying to help the teacher who is being so badly mistreated stuff, and regular own stuff! I think I even forgot to ever get to the breathing game with the class! So finally I left other teacher who was with them, and aide, and went to nurse. She took my pulse. It was fast! 120! But my blood pressure was 120 over 72. She said anxiety does this kind of thing to her too. And she said – contrary to what I’d thought – that I should take a little caffeine! I knew coffee would make me crazy, so I had a cup of tea. And greens and a peach (it was lunchtime now). And I sat and ate it in the faculty room at a table; not at my desk frantically. I am so grateful for having her there. For her being her and sneaking this for me without alarming office. For the results. Thank you thank you thank you!

5.      I normally wouldn’t, but this am – or was it last night – after I FINALLY unwound, I decided to give them my all til the end. This class – last year, the teachers were miserable all year. I get it! Day 1 really surprised me – negatively – despite all I’d heard. I had THOUGHT I’d turned it around. But last week and a half or two weeks, they are horrible again. I’m talking about really sneaky and mean. Very mean. Like 8 out of 20! It is sad. I had pretty much given up by yesterday. Like, “I will be professional, I will be nice, I will work on the things I am to work on with the, but I cannot help them grow or change. Their parents are horrible phony mean greedy money-clawers and they are horrible phony mean greedy kids. : ( “ But NOW – I feel like: “Who knows? Maybe you can make SOME impact. They are still in your care. And they are young and innocent. Don’t give up.” So I shall not “throw in the towel….” Maybe ONE will even change a LITTLE. Maybe ONE seed will be firmly planted…

6.      MA had called the day before and I said how about tomorrow (meaning yesterday). Because she had more lego stuff for me and my class!!!!!! Yay!

7.      I went there yesterday. Was so tired and shaky almost thought couldn’t. But did for HER. I know she needs to get rid of the stuff to move. I thought it might be useless dirty old junk but that I would do it FOR HER. And I’m happy for that.

8.      And it was AMAZING stuff! Thank you thank you thank you!

9.      And we then had an over an hour visit. Yay! Thank you thank you thank you!

10.   We love each other and SHE again voiced how we must have MORE of each other. Yay! Thank you thank you thank you!

11.   Then, I remembered on the way home to enjoy that moment – that ride – and not just obsess about the call(s) I was GOING TO get later in regard to all this, despite the fact that they may have made me uncomfortable. This is HUGE! Thank you thank you thank you!

12.   I was able – later than I’d wished but I was able – to STOP at some point last night. Just STOP thinking and worrying.

13.   And A, my dear friend, wanted to know everything going on, for which I’m also grateful.

14.   But I was able to say no I NEED to stop. It was after 8 already and I needed to STOP. I took a valium – which is rare for me. And I stopped thinking about things.

15.   I am grateful that SO MUCH MORE NOW I am able to think about things when I could be doing something about them, and in between, to NOT think about them!