I am grateful:
1. That when I read the 3rd step prayer just now, it helped calm the amazingly strong jitters. Thank God.
2. That I am sitting here in my morning routine, which I love so much.
3. That I now do Affirmations daily, on my blog.
4. That I’m taking deep breaths, right now.
5. “’A hopeless compulsive overeater’ is the way I described myself when I came to OA. I was sure nothing could save me. Today I know that no one is without hope.”
6. “Indeed the best hope is the very admission of hopelessness.”
7. “There may seem little chance of realizing my hopes but, far from killing them, that dim prospect gives them new life.”
8. “I once thought that if I hoped for something I had to pursue it frantically. That’s not the OA way. Going on about my business, doing one small necessary chore at a time, and letting my Higher Power take care of the rest – that’s the OA way.”
9. For Today: I admit I can do very little about my fears, my concerns and my hopes. But I can - and do – turn them over to God.” I am thankful for these words. (All are from today’s For Today).
10. “Some of the CoDA promises started to come true for me. It happened the moment gratitude became part of my daily life.” Today’s In This Moment.
11. And now I will list each of those CoDA promises, because I just looked them up and am grateful for each one. “I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
12. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my ears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
13. I know a new freedom.
14. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
15. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
16. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
17. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
18. I learn that it is possible to mend – to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
19. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
20. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
21. I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
22. I gradually experience serenity, strength and spiritual growth in my daily life.”
23. And the Promises of OA.” If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
24. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
25. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
26. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
27. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away.
28. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
29. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
30. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
31. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
32. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”
33. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “Sometimes the process of doing Steps Four and Five brings to our awareness more than our character defects. Sometimes we uncover old traumas . . . Until we gbegin to deal with them, some of us found that our abstinence was precarious or we continue to feel unhappy, even while we were abstaining and working the Steps.” (from OA 12 and 12 ).
34. “Why couldn’t I stay abstinent? I had failed to tell another human being my entire life story. I could not get abstinent, stay abstinent, and live in recovery until I did so. I was the good little girl who grew up to be the people pleaser. Paralyzing fear seized my mind and body at the thought of telling someone else what I had done. So I stayed in the disease. My humility was born of greater trust in God and willingness to learn a better way of living.”
35. When I bought this house, 92 banks turned me down. But the 93rd didn’t. I was willing to do whatever it took (legally) to make it work. And I did. And I can do the same now with self-growth and with my marriage. I am grateful for that.
36. That in the car, for a moment while driving in today, I was able to feel, and register: I feel okay right now!
37. That today is going very nicely at school
38. That I am observing for a bit in 2 other classes. I love to do that
39. That it was nice to talk with T this morning
40. That I made some tea and had it here this morning
41. That there is a luncheon today, and I might even have to go out and get food, but either way, I’ll be there for at least part of it
42. That I am *off * next week To do all my own stuff
43. That I left myself an e-mail, reminding myself that next week I can:
I can go to CoDA meeting(s) downtown!
And clean the kitchen, d.r., l.r., den, bathroom, bedroom, closet, "hall."
And get all spring clothes in order.
And eat well, and simply and/or use Vegan on the Cheap, and Supermarket
Vegan
(Appetite for Reduction etc. if I choose.)
44. The way M talks to her class
45. That Sp told me this morning that *I *am okay, regarding getting dismissed for being nervous, kind of. That, having been in courtrooms a lot, he can honestly say this is true of a *lot * of people!
46. That I shared the riddle with the kids today. And they are very interested: A man without eyes went to view the sky. On his way he saw an apple tree. ---The tree had apples on it. He neither took apples from the tree nor left apples on the tree.
47. After vacation, *any and everyone * who comes in with a correct answer and the right words of the riddle, gets a prize from the prize box.
48. My puzzle books
49. That M said we should spend prep together today
50. That maybe I’ll get someone to go to dinner or a movie with tonight
51. And have Ph for some days next week.
52. The one minute of meditative breathing we did together as a class today.
53. And how quiet it was.
54. Most kids really seem to be enjoying this lately.
55. That my practice this morning, though 1 minute short : ( and very distracted at beginning, wound up so pleasant, as always
56. Wheel of Fortune last night. I enjoyed those minutes
57. That amazing house on Two anda Half men
58. The beautifully decorated lunchroom as I saw it this morning (for the tax day luncheon)
59. That there was a vegan choice at our luncheon today!
60. That despite some fear, I also have some excitement about the *self-care, eating, straightening, cleaning, etc. that I can do next week. Meetings, etc. (see work e-mail)
61. Prisms -?
62. The flowers in our courtyard. Maybe I can ask MaryAnn to do that for me? I can pay; we can do together…
63. That I listen to the (new) station on the radio in the car now
64. Can sleep tonight.
65. Can take like 3 hours every morning for my program work – for 9 days!
66. Vegan pizza. And I can even have some at P&B Sunday IF I can risk the white flour
67. That although I forgot and took some potato chips today, I didn’t really care – didn’t love them – they didn’t make me obsess, or crazy – I’m sorry I forgot but glad that it was a non-issue
68. That two different people lately have complimented me on my birthstone ring
69. That yesterday morning on the parkway, I actually *wished * I could veer off left, which would have been like coming here. Which helped me to appreciate my job even more.
70. Nice talk with M at lunchtime (after luncheon) today
71. Some beautiful words. Like exquisite.
72. Integrity.
73. Earthshine.
74. Sparkle.
75. The names my pets have had
76. That the kids have been writing so beautifully lately. And – were all neat on their spelling tests today.
77. That I *feel * like maybe I *will * be ok tonight. And anyway, it is 9 days toward more *growth *! And I NEED that!
78. That although the bad news is that a big reason I wouldn’t even call and ask J if he wants to go out tonight, is because I’m so tired and don’t have/can’t put/ won’t put…? the energy into looking good. Not enough planning in advance to be ready either. And the gratitude is that there’s a lesson in that
79. I have kale here for my greens tonight.
80. Wow. It’s the next morning, and I’m just finishing. Okay. That I got home safel yesterday.
81. That I remembered to get back my digital recorder from the courthouse the second day.
82. That I even *have * digital recorder.
83. That I paid less for it because it is used. And I didn’t realize that. And I don’t care about it!
84. That I have no plates or pins… in my body.
85. That Aunt L used to give us gum and was so much fun
86. The time the cousins all lined up for that picture I think I still have
87. My Big Book. And that even though I spilled coffee on it and stained it, I’m okay with that
88. That P said she will say she made the mistake! To F’s parents! I’m so grateful!
89. That I’ve started to understand the word Fellowship
90. And the traditions
91. And what meetings are about/for
92. That I am so much more open this time. Open-minded. Open to cleaning up my*self * and my *own * side of the street
93. That I chilled and rested last night. Not forced self to go out
94. That I *will * start my vacation right today. In terms of taking my mother, either going to the health thing or cleaning or both, and eating well.
95. That I couldn’t lie after putting my hand up and swearing to tell the truth
96. I know this is about today, but I’m grateful to be sitting here alive and breathing
97. That I’m starting to change. To get to know myself, to feel like a person a bit, and to grow better (better healthier, better feeling, and better person)
98. That I have found this program (oa)
99. That although this was a *very * hard week with some *very * hard nights, there have been moments when I did feel okay
100. That we let the kids get together with the buds yesterday
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