I am grateful:
1. That MA came out and we had supper together yesterday evening☺
2. That I went to 4 meetings this week, 3 oa and 1 coda
3. That coda finally gave me a phone list
4. That M shared with me
5. That I got to share with her too
6. That the kids were happy
7. That she might call me this morning (about *her * stuff)
8. That T was so nice to me at the meeting
9. That I did these things yesterday: pray on my knees, both 3rd step prayers, the God prayer and the Mary prayer, the For Today, Voices of Recovery, and In This Moment meditation books, meditated for about 10 minutes and reported it to my community, did 10 minutes of step 4 work, called my sponsor. Did not exercise and *must * start today. And that I again prayed for the people I promised to pray for. Promised God. Oooh – I just did a little sort of step 10!:)
10. That I took out the garbage this morning. Finally. This is a big deal to me.
11. That stepping out of the door first thing felt good
12. That taking out the garbage felt good
13. That my hand feels like it’s started to heal. I will know more today from the dr.
14. That yesterday’s meditation made me smile
15. That I did get to talk to my mother last night a little (and ease her worries about why I wasn’t home yet too)
16. That I had my phone with me and on when she called.
17. That someone put it on vibrate for me and told me how to undo that
18. That so many people say these programs have worked and changed their lives and are happy, joyous and free.
19. That my breath feels so clean lately.
20. That I haven’t had a cold all year
21. That I will shower this morning. I will.
22. That maybe I’ll be able to straighten this weekend! (depending on the hand, not on my emotions, I hope)
23. That I spoke up with P about being uncomfortable about her letting that horrible e-mail go.
24. And she told me of her mistake, and sent another.
25. That I have started to feel a little stronger as a person.
26. That I will see my mom this weekend. For bank and shopping but maybe also for lunch or something.
27. That I do not have any food-borne illnesses.
28. That I can even buy organic if I choose.
29. That I have the cookbook Vegan on the Cheap
30. And Supermarket Vegan
31. And Appetite for Reduction
32. And Veganomicon
33. And Vegan with a Vengence
34. And Fresh from the Slow Cooker
35. And Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen
36. And Vegan Italllano
37. And Vegan Planet
38. And Vegan Cupcakes Take over the World
39. And How It All Vegan
40. And that other one something Dolce
41. And the little one(s) for purse
42. And the one J got slightly used
43. And the spanikopita recipe
44. And the potato soup recipe
45. And the veg stew from my mother recipe
46. And the pasta fagioli from my mother recipe
47. And the that soup
48. And the my own soup
49. And the white beans and escarole soup
50. And the “pesto”
51. And that I make great salad
52. And that I can eat Chinese food now
53. So many healthy choices
54. And that the hole in my stomach doesn’t stay with me every second
55. That there is hope in step 4. It makes me physically hot and somewhat breathless because it hurts so much to see and face these things I have done, but there is hope in it.
56. That L said yesterday that he literally felt like he floated away from his step 5
57. I am so grateful that I have found this step 4 book, and finally seem to know what I’m doing (because I’m just following it period).
58. I am grateful for what courage I have to be fearless and searching in this inventory.
59. I am grateful that I don’t have to leave quite as early today (because going to dr)
60. For the parents who have appreciated me.
61. For that Japanese mother, all those years ago, who said to me in her broken English, after only being able to read from very basic simple sentence structure notes her few questions, “Uh. What you do. Yusuke. We know. We thank.” Her stopping at door to say that before leaving.
62. And Mrs. P-S thanking me and being so soft, which she never was, and going out o her way to make sure I understand she meant for how I helped *her * in her relationship with that other mother, not “just” her daughter.
63. Mrs. L this year, telling me that at the Montesorri school, she and daughter were so happy and she’ll be sending her… it was the most incredible feeling… because – “it was like a room full of Mrs. my name-s.
64. The little one’s birthday today. God bless her.
65. That L just said that the fifth step is the little yellow cared – the Monopoly get out of jail free card
66. That I’m typing even with my right thumb right now. Both hands, regular typing. What a miracle compared to last Friday. Thank you, God.
67. People who are honest in meetings and share their experience.
68. And strength and hope.
69. That I’ve begun to understand the purpose of the meetings for me.
70. That I just found the directions to the dr I’m seeing this morning
71. That the weather did not do what they said, so I can get there
72. That I got home safely last night
73. That the sun has come up this morning. Really. And it’s a beautiful thing.
74. Me beginning to learn about acceptance and beginning to learn some acceptance (for example about illness and death in life)
75. Me beginning to have the beginning of a belief to some extent in the p. 417 Nothing absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. I’m not able to understand/believe that in regard to holocaust, genocide, war, etc. but on some level am beginning to believe it.
76. Laughter and how in my dream last night I was watching a funny movie, and was so grateful for it, and was going to get more funny movies, and knew could. Maybe this came from discussing An Uncommon Reader with MA yesterday
77. That the salad slice seemed not to set me off
78. That I made green tea at work yesterday instead of buying anything and spending
79. That we able to get rid of the old sofa from my mother and redecorate (may we get to live, really live, here (or anywhere) together)
80. Inspirational quotes
81. That J is still connected to me
82. That I drive. I remember when I couldn’t (fear)
83. That I “swim.” I remember when I couldn’t (fear)
84. That I work. I remember when I couldn’t (fear)
85. That I might have time today to do more step 4 work, or plan cooking/shopping, or rest – sleep, or straighten (depending on hand) or just relax and be easy with myself, read or something. Or go back to school for meeting (and thus only count a half day out, plus be with people)
86. That maybe J and I can read the mindfulness trainings toda
87. That a vber wrote about being thankful for the workers before we eat, like the TNH stuff does
88. That I can even read, “Savor” today if I want! Or coda stuff. Or Tudor England stuff
89. That maybe I can see a friend this weekend
90. That I am going to wash my hair this morning. It will be clean and it will smell good
91. That I have clean underwear.
92. That I even have underwear.
93. That warm weather is coming
94. And so are leaves
95. My oak tree. Um.
96. I will walk this weekend. (And of course that I can walk)
97. That nobody yells and screams and curses at me.
98. Women’s shelters
99. That I didn’t eat junk yesterday.
100. That I will figure out what to do about this jury duty business, and either way I will be okay.
101. That I kind of know that.
102. Hope. And that I’m choosing to live in it now.
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