I am grateful:
1. I am grateful for a good day whenever I have one. Or hour. Or minutes.
2. And that I have been meditating lately, each morning.
3. And that in that Woman’s Wekly magazine, it has so much about feeling better emotionally, physically, losing weight, meditating, etc.
4. Those things help me.
5. Also, they help me realize I am not the only one working on these things.
6. Today’s For Today: “Man cannot live without self-control.”Singer. I am glad to be finding control over my anger-acting-out. But I cannot do it without God *and * leg-work.
7. And my eating patterns. But again, I can’t do it without God *and * leg-work.
8. Not control like I can just do it alone, but again, that great phrase: Trust in God but buy broccoli.
9. It goes on to explain, and then I understand it better: It is in surrendering my lack of control to God, one day at a time, that I receive in return the freedom to enjoy all the good things of life, in moderation.
10. I wonder if this can help me with cleaning too. I am grateful that I now do laundry regularly. It was a hurdle for me and now it isn’t. Maybe this will happen (again) with cleaning too?
11. “I readily admit I have no self-control when it comes to eating. God can and does, however, do for me what I cannot do for myself.” That keeps me in mind of the give-over part.
12. That I love my mornings. I look forward to and enjoy the cozy time. Hearing the birds, me wrapped up in a big robe, on comfy sofa, with hot coffee, doing my inner work stuff. It’s nice, and I’m grateful that I enjoy it.
13. And – that it’s good for me in the long-run.
14. That I’m hungry. I’m genuinely hungry right now.
15. And that there is food for me to take when I am hungry.
16. That there’s a different CoDA meeting now. Yay!
17. Today’s in This Moment: “Growing up in a home where healthy conflict resolution was never modeled…” “As I attend meetings and work the twelve steps with my sponsor, I gain more trust that my Higher Power will give me peace, regardless of the circumstances.”
18. And that it goes on to say, and I am grateful for this in and of itself, “Today, when I am in turmoil, I stop for a moment and rest in the safe haven of my Higher Power.”
19. Buddhism: There is a way out. This is the way out (of the self-imposed suffering, which is the only suffering …) And it’s the 8-fold path. And I think (though I will research it) that these steps will also bring me on the 8-fold path.
20. I am truly excited about going tonight. Maybe it will have great program stuff but not leave me sort of depressed, as the other one does.
21. I might – might – go to confession. And to Mass on Easter Sunday. Hm. *Might * even invite J? Or not.
22. That that vber shared the blog about Fuhrman’s
23. That maye I’ll get that book? Or from the library?
24. That I do not have rectal cancer
25. I do not have colon cancer
26. I do not have ananl cancer
27. I do not have brain cancer
28. I do not have pancreatic cancer
29. Best friendship. And may I someday have the kind that Oprah and Gayle have
30. This fun show they’re having today
31. All these last 30 shows. It’s like 30 great times.
32. That I’ve been home to see some this week
33. That J did ask if I went back to his mother’s yesterday. And that I had
34. And that he thanked me.
35. That I have my blog journal.
36. That I was able to do nothing today, when needed to.
37. Water. I’m so grateful for water.
38. And prayer.and hope.
39. And my brain.
40. And that that meeting is tonight. I’m putting a lot of hope into that meting.
41. And that I don’t have periods anymore.
42. That I had that hysterectomy.
43. And it went so well.
44. And then I had the patch.
45. And now I *think * I don’t have symptoms.
46. That all my clothes are not thread-bare.
47. That j is not afraid to fly.
48. That Oprah has helped so many people.
49. But – I see that a lot of the best friends in her audience, look much alike like sisters. And a number like mother daughter (age-wise too). So maybe everyone doesn’t have *everything * and I don’t. There’s a lesson here.
50. That I’m not quite a hoarder, like on tv! I even know one or two people who are. I can get *through * this amount!
51. Right now I’m not as nervous wreck as I have been all day. Thank God.
52. That EJ says she checks my blog every single day. Just doesn’t know how to become an official “follower.”
53. And I did see (accidentally, and I don’t even know where) that I had 50 hits so far (yesterday or something).
54. That I will offer all of today’s pain and all of tomorrow’s work for EJ’s daughter. I am happy for the hardship if it can help her.
55. That I am just sitting here watching Friends, and no responsibility to have to take care of right now. That’s important on vacation too.
56. That Dr. Phil may have some helpful stuff for me today, according to what I saw earlier.
57. That I just ate vegetables.
58. That I went to the CoDA meeting and is was more positive than the other one.
59. That although there were only 2 of us, we had a real meeting
60. That the format was good
61. That the other person was nice
62. And was glad I was there
63. And liked me
64. And offered to sponsor me
65. And talked about going for coffee together
66. That I learned some things about the program
67. That I wasn’t as depressed, although I was nervous, when I came home
68. That it was a safe and easy place to get to
69. And I found a good parking spot
70. And made it home safely
71. Did get to sleep
72. Although broke abstinence, did buy and drink some juice
73. I do not have a sleeping disorder
74. Or cervical cancer
75. Or ovarian cancer
76. Or breast cancer
77. Or brain cancer
78. Or spinal cancer
79. Or bone cancer
80. Or throat cancer
81. Or tongue cancer
82. Or skin cancer
83. Or eye cancer
84. Or blood cancer (leukemia)
85. I do not need chemo
86. I do not need radiation
87. I have never had a heart attack
88. I don’t even have acid reflux anymore, if I don’t overeat/eat right before bed
89. I do not need surgery
90. I have lived through all my hospitalizations
91. I am, in reality, safe and sound at this moment
92. I have been able to make coffee to have every day
93. And have made some this morning
94. I now have a choice of CoDA meetings. That’s something.
95. And it’s not as hard, or expensive, or far, or big deal to get out because it’s so late, as the other one.
96. We also exchanged phone numbers
97. I have a pocketbook
98. And it is pretty
99. And it is yellow
100. And people comment on it.
101. I have awakened today, able to see, and hear, and speak and pray, and move my hands
102. Despite being awakened badly by my mother and J, I had some pleasant dreams last night.
103. I have finished the 100 gratitudes for yesterday. I hadn’t thought I’d be able to. Yay, I did.
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