I am grateful:
1. Jo’s amazing beautiful help yesterday. Her spirit of life being about helping each other. Her ethic. Her integrity. Her generosity.
2. Even my earlier tech session with her.
3. A number of people trying to help M.
4. That I might be able to get to jury duty Monday after all.
5. That I got a note from my dr just in case.
6. That K.G. told me about her eye. It was nice to have her share from that side for once. I like her.
7. That I will do a little something for her; I don’t know what yet. Maybe inexpensive flowers.
8. That P is sorry for her mistake.
9. That I’m admitting mine too. I should have reminded her what she’d said. And I will do some step 4 on it.
10. That I’m noticing more nature things on the way to work now.
11. That L. said, because I’m starting to find myself putting other people on my grats list, that, “You’re getting out of prison. The prison of self.” Something like that.
12. That I put Categories on my blog, and called them Blog Topics.
13. That I have plans with mar this Sat
14. And with J and his mother and J and my mother Sun
15. And the health thing next Sat
16. And the b’day lunch (probably) next Sun
17. And that ML has shared that – although she is a healthy person emotionally, and very good at just sort of denying negatives so she can be happy and it works for her – that when like a 3 day weekend (before she retired this past Sept.) she would think: oh boy, what am I going to do tomorrow. And then be so delighted if someone called to do something or something. That helps me know that it’s ok to feel that way
18. That I can watch Jo on computer tom. Night since she’s not on tv anymore. But first I’ll check Oxygen – repeats I haven’t seen might be on.
19. That I get to go to the eye doctor today.
20. “Let us love you until you can love yourself.” OAs say that. And, it’s in today’s For Today.
21. And it says, “When I don’t eel like going to a meeting, do I tell myself that the don’t need me; they’ll do fine without me? At such times, I remember wht it is like to e a compulsive overeater with no idea that the recovery I have today is possible. Will I be there when such a person needs to see a miracle like the ones that walked and talked at my first meeting.” And For today: How can I best help another compulsive overeater? By going to the meeting, whether I feel like it or not.” Wow. Now I’m not there: I’m still on the needier side. But still. Twice this week I planned to go and just didn’t. Anyway, I’m grateful for this message. And I’m grateful that I *do * want to be there someday to be hope for the newcomers.
22. I’m grateful that I helped V 2 x with long talks about doggie selecting: )
23. That I just went on and ordered the newcomer packets for the T group: )
24. That last night I ordered Lifeline for Mau
25. And for myself
26. And cheap assorted back issues from last year for us each also
27. That the show was so adorable yesterday
28. That the kids were happy
29. That today we can practice the Stanley song: )
30. And finish poems
31. That I’ve made a schedule for today
32. That I don’t have to take care of the dog right now
33. That I *will * start exercising soon
34. That I watch Dr. Phil yesterday. And he showed that woman from his first show 9 years ago, who was like out of control mean at home. And who came back a year later and her family life was different and she’d lost 54 pounds (“so far”) etc. And how he told yesterday’s rager that she *had to * do the same things. Get anger management, and parenting classes, and lose weight, and get in shape, like clean up her whole life. It *is * doable. And I am going to do it! With God’s help and L’s help and my dr’s help and my program and friends and mother and Ph etc.
35. That the number of vbers showed me love and wanted me back and welcomed me back
36. Voices of Recovery today: EGO can be called Easing God Out. “When I live in EGO, I live in fear. My attempts to control are an attempt to wrap up my fears into a tidy parcel. Perseverance, however, is about surrendering to my Higher Power. I’ve heard the acronym GOD for Good Orderly Direction. [Ch – more like, I’ve heard Good Orderly Direction, as a way to think of God, in my mind ]When I surrender, I am still responsible for the effort, but I leave the results to my Higher Power. Stubbornness is ego-driven and fear-based. Perseverance is surrender to my Higher Power and is faith-based.” That’s beautiful. And I need it.
37. That all those “drafts” which were left empty on my blog were not really missing posts! They were: I open a new post page, type in the title, go to Word and start doing grats. Then I use that Firefox page to go do e-mail or something, and come back and type in the title and put the grats in. Well that first one with just the title got saved as a draft even though I didn’t know it. And then the real one *did * get put there. Which I’d always thought it did since I’m in the habit of pressing Publish Post and then View Blog to see it there. I’d only really lost like one post! : )
38. That I can go to coda tonight if I want
39. That tomorrow is Friday
40. That I can take R. if I want
41. That I can *probably * also go to oa if I want, although after eye dr I probably don’t want.
42. In today’s In This Moment daily meditaion book, it says,“I am prone to melancholy. If I don’t stay connected to my Higher Power, I lose serenity and slip into depression. When I consciously look for signs or answers I find delightful everyday surprises which keep me grateful and positive.” Yes. This is so true.
43. That I guide the class in the breathing game before the show yesterday. They seemed to love it. And I was happy to give it to them.
44. That I got through some of the resentment first long question yesterday. And I will get through more today too.
45. That my dr came yesterday
46. That M called a mediator yesterday
47. That I just prayed for the people I said I’d prayer for. Plus Sp.
48. Oh – OR – I could go to H mtg if I want…
49. That I saved the JB thing to read to Sp this morning.
50. That I’ve powered through the 10 minutes with the timer, of step 4 work this morning, even though because of the nature of the question I’m on (first, long one, step 4 on resentment), I dreaded it.
51. That I see da differently after writing about her this morning. Still don’t like and don’t want in my life, but feel for her more compassionately.
52. That Mau is in my life. And that I didn’t tell her off a year ago when I met her, like I felt like, or she wouldn’t be.
53. That I am trying to extend myself to M all I can.
54. That I can technically afford to stop for tea or breakfast when I “need” to
55. That we don’t cheat on our taxes
56. Posters for my classroom
57. That I made individual bracelets for each kid in my incoming class 2 years ago
58. Coloring. For them *and * for me
59. The movie yesterday, thanks to M
60. People in health-inducing fields
61. My Christmas cactus in the classroom
62. And that it bloomed so beautifully this fall
63. And that it has some more flowers right now (a couple)!
64. And my jades, all 3 in the classroom (not to mention the big one at home that J picked out)
65. And my 2 philodendron in the classroom
66. And the tree like one
67. And the giant snake plant, may I repot it soon
68. And the spider and all the babies from it
69. Practicing the 50 states that rhyme song with the kids today
70. And knowing when to try for the one note, and when to let it go (I *think * I knew)
71. Glaucoma dr today, may it all be well
72. Got the hand dr appointment
73. I think I’m willing to take my chances on jury duty, as a citizen etc.
74. The poems getting done and G mounting them and them being handed in
75. All the marble happiness today
76. The breathing with the children and T this morning
77. A nice time n the teacher’s room at lunchtime today, instead of isolating
78. Trying to help M, with her new e-mail
79. Being so extra nice to F when returned from eye dr. etc.
80. Bright colors on the fabulous earth rug I have here in the classroom
81. Leg to Lk today (for me)
82. Leg to Lk today for the children’s happiness
83. R felling better about himself
84. Me being so honest and adding the “in the interest of full disclosure” part on the e-mail to the next two classroom observers of F
85. Clay pots for plants. But I think I’ve said that, and maybe even the other plant ones, or some of them, so I’ll keep going after 100.
86. BV when she was in my room, and how nice she was to kids
87. And R and how amazing she was with kids
88. And not having to have KG anymore
89. And D and how nice she was with kids
90. And j and how nice she was with kids
91. And M being nice to me today about hand
92. When I let other kids use our computers
93. And they are so good about it
94. And when others let my kids use theirs
95. And they are so good about it
96. That my mother wants to give the amount she wants to give
97. That I volunteered at a orphanage when I was in high school
98. That tonight I can choose to relax if I don’t want to go anywhere at all.
99. That Ii’m going to finish this list
100. That my kids really learn about art and arts and crafts, not like what we had
101. Sculptures
102. The Express bus
103. Our Chinese food broccoli with garlic sauce shares and trips downtown to look for wedding ring
104. When we found it
105. And I said, “suckers.”
106. And J laughed
107. Where we bought it.
108. And what it says inside.
109. And both of J’s too.
110. And that he got what he liked/wanted
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