I am grateful:
1. The feeling of breath going deep within, as I’ve been feeling often this year (since rugs up)
2. Water filtration services
3. Reservoirs
4. That sewers are underground, not up here
5. That I have magazines for my mother today
6. That I can choose to go to a meeting or not today
7. I guess I’m grateful that I’m still thinking about the jury business
8. And that I’m noticing more things as I drive
9. And that I seem to be beginning to form a habit of praying a bit throughout the day
10. And that the meditation peeps are still there after all
11. And that K and G both said they keep the marbles I gave them on their desk as their calming stones
12. And K said she thinks of coming for meditation, but like it will be a Wed or something, and asked me to call her
13. That St called me back last night (even though I was too tired: )
14. “Compassion allows me to sit with a friend and listen. In such moments, I feel compassion for myself as well as my friend. When I listen with my heart, I hear beyond mere words and into the heart of another human being. Compassion is an awe-inspiring gift from God.” From today’s In This Moment. I am grateful for that thought, and pray for the chance to use it with J every day for the rest of our lives.
15. That I have found the sp sp board and am on it some now
16. And have been shown the o o c board as well, where oa p are too
17. “I have the strength to walk through my fears. To take a chance on a new way of life.” From yesterday’s For Today. And that is what I’m doing with my program work and mornings.
18. I. For writing that to M. For her and their sake.
19. And her for showing it to me. For her.
20. And for me. It has spurred me to realize I think I should take some action too. Toward the end of the week off. And to start getting ready now.
21. And his amends to Je. For her.
22. And M telling us (me and D). For her.
23. And for us. For me because it has enabled me to see that I *do not * have to wait until step 9 or whatever to do amends. I can do an amend at any time. Like now.
24. Just like I can meditate now, not have to wait til step 11.
25. And I can do inventories now, besides step 4, and not having to wait until step 10.
26. “In Step 11, we are challenged to actively seek to improve our relationship with our Higher Power in the same way we might develop any relationship, by taking the time on a regular basis to be with HP.” “Do I check in? When I am in a decision-making process or mode, do I run it by my Higher Power before taking action? Do I pray? Do I listen? Using a mental alarm clock, I will set aside a specific time to check in with my Higher Power during my day. I got here (desperate, eating compulsively) by doing things on my own. I stay here (abstaining) by fostering relationships with my Higher Power and OA members.” From Apr 6 Voices of Recovery.
27. That I was abstinent yesterday! Yay! Thank you, God. And self, for asking and then doing the leg-work. Even though the Ch food turned out wrong (it had chicken, and was with white rice)
28. That I sent Jo the beautiful Virgin Mary prayer.
29. For my mornings: Pray on knees, 2 3rd step prayers, 10 minutes meditation, 100 gratitudes, readings, prayer to God and to the Blessed Virgin, pray for the people on my prayer, list, 20 minutes step 4 work
30. That I am now willing to live as normally a possible rather than in patheticness and problems. Ex. like when ekg heart exercise thing
31. That I am finally thankful for life
32. Sp giving me extra time today when his second person didn’t call
33. And inspiring me with his love of and appreciation for life
34. J’s understanding of me
35. That maybe I’ll get my hair cut and colored today.
36. *Because * I want to start looking more of my best. For me as well as for him.
37. That I managed to get in that shower and wash my hair
38. And I got to take my mother to the bank in time for her business, which took a little longer
39. And I got a few dollars I didn’t have before
40. And felt smiley
41. And I did get my hair done
42. And I bought the other juice because it’s cheaper
43. Before he shared his big upset about my mother and something she said to him, I felt happiness to hear J’s message and that he had called
44. And I *am * happy that we are going tomorrow; I hope to *both * mothers
45. I’ll see Mart later
46. The innocent who was next to me at the hair place
47. I was able to go back to my breathing after the phone call; did that for a few minutes
48. ‘Tated and reported this morning
49. Nice meeting today
50. Not much alone time today
51. Beautiful amazing weather today! Beautiful!
52. Safe car rides today: )
53. I like the way my hair came out
54. I have something to wear tomorrow
55. I can do laundry in the morning
56. I slept last night and will probably sleep tonight
57. My mother can afford her medicines
58. And her food
59. I can afford my car maintenance
60. And insurance
61. I spoke with St and we will see the movie either this time or next: )
62. I prayed some Rosary today
63. Creams and beiges. I just like them
64. That Mia the snake was found and is back and safe
65. Ma, who does my hair. She’s a nice example of femininity and some self-esteem too, I think
66. That I do my own errands now
67. That St said S had a great time in DC. That’s a big deal, what he did
68. And that she and A loved their movie today
69. That they have enough money
70. That there is still hope for me and J, some, anyway.
71. That my dr. said it *is * ok for me to talk to P
72. That I got myself to WP today. And out into that beautiful weather
73. That I have no pain right now. Anywhere (physical). Including thumb
74. That I didn’t fall this week. Or last, I think: )
75. That I bought coffee today
76. The movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I really enjoyed that, and again on tv recently.
77. That I use the library now.
78. That my employment has never so far been at risk
79. That I am a really good writing teacher now!
80. That I gave my mother the two magazines (I feel tired, and like I’m repeating, so I’ll add some extras again today).
81. That even though I didn’t feel so well this morning, and my skin felt sort of hot, it turned out that I was fine.
82. Sell This House. I like that show.
83. Mar saying, “With God, nothing is impossible
84. And her saying it over and over
85. And her saying to keep praying for J
86. And so many wise things
87. And yes, even though I’m jealous that she and Cha might be okay, I’m happy that he is doing well right now and they are/might be! And I will pray for them
88. That she is helping so many teenage girls
89. And he is going to meetings
90. And maybe I can go to one of those 1 day retreats
91. And that she is able to go, even to the couples ones though he doesn’t go.
92. And that she shared that with me
93. That she, instead of sitting there seething with jealousies when she sees couples heal, she does feel bad that it can’t be her and him right now, but she sees it as a miracle and as proof that there are miracles
94. And that I learned something from her from that
95. She is a beautiful person, and I’m glad she is in my life
96. And that she was able to give service to me and she like that feeling
97. That I realized, although too late : ( that when J shared yesterday that he was so upset because of what my mother said, I should have sympathized, not tried to smooth. Trying to smooth is, I think, the codependent personality stuff. And I may have made him feel more frustrated because not heard. But I’m grateful that I learned something from it
98. That Mar gave me that little book. I did want it
99. And said that as well as the Rosary and things, we can have a dialogue with Jesus, just like she and I had last night
100. And she said she felt praying the Rosary was like giving a bouquet to Mary
101. And she talked about Mary’s interceding, and gave me that window example. Beautiful
102. And told me, and later reminded me, of the suntan example. We may not be aware of God’s love, just like when we sit outside and don’t think we are getting color. But then we move our shirt a little, and there is a difference in color. Because the sun *was * shining down on us the whole time.
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