I am grateful:
1. The beautiful flowery scent when I walked outside to bring down the paper recycling today.
2. I think it was the petunias and when I came back up on one of my trips and put my nose to one, it smelled beautiful.
3. I brought all of it down. 3 months worth.
4. In open containers. They should take it.
5. Maybe this horrible feeling, like where is j right now, what time it is there…is something I * have to * go through. Like when he was in Ca, and I was watching baseball games, and going out with others… but none of it wholeheartedly, really just, in beginning, miserable missing him, and later, miserable missing him and happy he was back in my life, and just filing time to wait for him.
6. I just heard the truck and looked outside and saw them take my paper recycling. Yay!
7. I did it!
8. And – no judgment, no rifling through, no nothing. Just threw it on the truck. Like any worthwhile person’s paper recycling. Yay.
9. They just stopped right here at my house and took it.
10. Also, I love seeing the tulips closed up in the evening and early morning, and opened during the day.
11. Someone on ea online mentioned (yesterday?) that she was impressed by the poster who talked about 100 gratitudes and thought she should try as has difficulty getting even 10 (just as I used to). That poster was, of course, me, and I was writing to answer someone else. But maybe have helped this person and/or others too : )
12. Sp reminded me again today: “I can be as happy as I make up my mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln.
13. And had me look up the phrase about resentment, and we read a paragraph: Big Book p. 64. “Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.” Bill W (?)
14. Good talk with Sp today. Although I don’t want Sp to be sad (!) it was at the same time nice to here Sp speak of my fortune in loving my mother.
15. And my memory about the pizza through the window days, and now the I-bring-her-food-through-the-window
16. M and I got our grant proposal work done today, in time for the deadline! Hard, but done!
17. And, it’s been signed off on by other M, and T is sending it over to make sure it gets there tomorrow
18. The Oprah show today – about 20 years younger (looking? being?)
19. What I’m learning from it right now about Exercise, Nutrition, Skin care, and Sleep
20. My dr came
21. He said it won’t hurt anything if I make my proposal to J
22. I feel I have to
23. I will prepare it tomorrow
24. He also said I can ask about going to help at the event Sat
25. I did get to the meeting last night
26. I saw M and R and other M and other J and still other M and H and there were about 11 or more of us there
27. And I got to make nice with “The Pea” afterward, the little cutie (dog)
28. And I got home safely
29. And although not enough, I did sleep last night
30. Tonight I can choose whatever I want. There are two oa and two coda meetings. I can go to any of them or even a certain two of them, or none of them
31. I can take my mother shopping tomorrow (probably) to free up the whole day Sat for the event or if ot, then for myself
32. I really do like the idea M and I are using for the summer work
33. And possibly option a
34. I *want * to do it. It’s *not * just for money
35. I’m glad I went to the S meeting the other day
36. And that I participated.
37. And, like that, for the phrase, “Every time I step outside of my comfort zone, it grows.”
38. And the fact that M likes it too
39. I am sitting here
40. Alive
41. On comfy sofa
42. With coffee
43. And lamp with stones in it
44. And the birds singing outside
45. My laptop on my lap
46. Breathing
47. Every part of my body, inside and out, working. And for all that I am grateful
48. I finally saw buds on the oak tree! Yesterday!
49. This morning is a trip. While that makes me nervous, it is also pretty easy.
50. And I am grateful for the forewarning so I can try to get us back on time.
51. This afternoon will be nice too (must check schedule but it will be nice)
52. At lunch I will finish the F things
53. At prep I will do the sub plans. If I can’t get to the sub plans because the F thing takes too long, I will do them at home and e-mail them in.
54. All will be well.
55. All is well.
56. Tomorrow I will watch some of the royal wedding
57. Then get my hand checked.
58. Then take my mother to the store (and bank?) (hopefully).
59. Then either just chill out, or go out and see someone (MA?)
60. I never give up on the hundred gratitudes
61. I showed my blog to my dr yesterday
62. We are beginning to make progress with our research
63. I am taking better care of myself than I have for years.
64. It has started to make a difference inside.
65. Maybe a touch outside.
66. Or soon at least.
67. The e-mail came yesterday, and the dra stuff is moved up, so I can go higher…
68. My dr noticed right away that I’d cleaned
69. And said something twice
70. I made delicious veggies last night. Took spinach, green beans, collards, and artichoke hearts, 2 slices Ezekial broken up, dabs (too many lol) of Earth Balance, and sprinkle of breadcrumbs (less than last time with the broccoli) and cooked at pre-heated 375 for 35 minutes. Yum.
71. And more for today.
72. For lunch I will throw in a vegan burger, and have protein, veggies, and grain.
73. I put less of the breadcrumbs, and next time I will pur less of the Earth Balance.
74. The bagel shop being closed is actually good for me, I think.
75. I had images of Oreos, and even of leaving the meeting early to go and get some, in my head last night for a good portion of the meeting. *So I passed the first time around.
76. I listened.
77. Then I spoke.
78. I’m glad I shared.
79. I got good reactions.
80. And I think I was one of the helps to the newcomer.
81. And I didn’t get the Oreos! Yay.
82. Gave Ph her treat this morning, and filled her food bow.
83. R nodded when I shared about the paper recycling.
84. And G(?) newcomer, said something like, “we all understand about clutter.”
85. Of course my bigger point wasn’t the clutter, it was the pathetic feeling that even my garbage would be rejected, but still it was nice to be acknowledged.
86. Ma tried to save me from M. M is nice, but I think she’s kind of crazy, and do not want to confide in her. Also, I don’t want just physical recovery. I *do * want physical recovery! But not *just. *
87. I have thought of, “I have arrived. I am home,” as walking at times now. I think at least once every day.
88. I believe my kids will like the trip today.
89. R was able to self-advocate about clay allergy yesterday.
90. I was able to kid and self advocate with D about that recess nonsense.
91. But I should have taken out the horn, and will next time. I’m grateful that I know that.
92. Hope.
93. My legs feel like they’re stronger again.
94. And my muscles have started to feel good.
95. I have some friends. Should have more? More oa? I don’t know, but I’m glad I have friends.
96. And that I seem to be accepting ore, that no one is perfect.
97. And I’m so grateful to have the right Sponsor for me.
98. And for my morning work
99. And that tomorrow I can take out the garbage.
100. And for the squirrels and bunnies and chipmunks and all springtime animals.
101. And our nature table
102. And Jor, who is bringing in things every day
103. And that I don’t stress about it – in fact I think it’s kind of fun that these things will do what they do, and it will become sort of fossilized
104. And that J *got me * that table
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