I am grateful:
1. That I have done another day of the 9 novena prayers to St. Jude today.
2. The concepts of energy, like being discuess “’cause matter does ndergo transformation” on Dr. Oz by Dr. Nemeh right now.
3. Vegetables. They grow up out of God’s green earth for us.
4. Fruit trees like plum trees.
5. Orange trees.
6. Apple trees.
7. Banana trees.
8. And that we’ve seen them in person.
9. The heart of God Himself is love.” He also says, “No you don’t have to have any faith.” I don’t know about that. Well at least I have to try! : )
10. Michael jackson’s This Is It – I liked seeing it.
11. Dr. Oz talking about “opening our minds up” (so we can… thought not gonna get all the answers..)
12. That I’m setting the alarm and lying down right now. And if I don’t awake until morning (except for calling my mother first), so what. I want to be healthy and well and not sick like since starting Sat evening: )
13. Squirrels.
14. Not just grey ones, but brown ones.
15. And black ones.
16. And that white one at the seminary those times: )
17. Tomorrow is finally supposed to be the day they really do come and clean the yard.
18. That I did do my evening CoDA work yesterday (it’s morning now)
19. Today’s For Today: “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp Or what’s a heaven for?” Robert Browning
20. And it says: “Abstinence is the beginning.” I needed to hear that.
21. And “Once grasped, I reach out for more – more sanity, more balance, more freedom.”
22. And this, which has always been me: “In the middle of a problem, it’s easy to think that when it is over my life will be calm and ordered.” I must continue to stop doing that and am glad for the reminder.
23. And it says this: “Reaching is a victor in itself; it is the very essence of recovery.”
24. And this biggy: “For today: just staying abstinent – if it’s all I can do today – is reaching for recovery.”
25. (And God please help me stay abstinent today and I’m grateful to even know to pray for that).
26. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I’m in the moment.”
27. And “I feel my feelings”
28. And “I trust that I am being healed.”
29. And “I release my fear.”
30. And this: “I have the option to look at my choices. I make my decision to act or wait. I’m at peace.”
31. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “This miracle of unity is an everyday reality for thousands of recovering compulsive overeaters . . . it is possible for us to continue eating moderate, nutritious meals, one day at at ime, day after day, month after month, year after year.” OA 12 & 12 p. 23
32. And “Yes – there is hope and a promise for me too!”
33. “I am not a rudderless ship left unsupported to be tossed about upon an angry sea.”
34. “I can find my way out of this agonizing existence and reclaim my tortured soul.”
35. “The stark truth is no less than this: to get out of the hell o compulsive overeating, I must be willing to give up compulsive overeating”
36. “I reach out to others to receive help and strength, and to give away what I have received.”
37. “Most importantly, I work the Steps to the best of my ability. And in doing so, I reconnect with my Higher Power and find my way home to sanity and peace of mind.”
38. In Language of Letting Go today: “ The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others.”
39. And this: “God, help me be grateful for all my lessons, even the ones that caused me the most pain and suffering. Help me learn what I need to learn, so I can stop the pain in my life. Help me focus on the goal of recovery, rather than the pain that motivated me into it.” What a beautiful prayer.
40. That I just meditated.
41. And that it was wonderful.
42. And that although allergic to the flowers and can’t have anymore, I have my pretty beauty book with flower pictures on it for “unfocusing” on.
43. That I’m back to step work.
44. That it says in AA 12 & 12 “This ropening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But is a willing start is made, then the great advantages of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away.”
45. And it says that: In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm w e have done ourselves has.”
46. And this goes with the Buddhist – we are the cause of our own suffering
47. And the retreat Sunday: we cause God the most pain when we cause ourselves to suffer.
48. I’m grateful that I *did * get all my am stuff done this morning.
49. Particularly all my prayers
50. And calling of Sponsor
51. And walking of dog!
52. And meditating! Yay.
53. And that it was so beautiful out, during walk.
54. And that I had a few nice moments with Sh this morning.
55. And a few with T also.
56. And that I made it here today.
57. And if no one is absent, we shall have our party (IF I have enough goodies for them all). Otherwise, tomorrow
58. Third day now: I’m grateful that I don’t feel as fully desolate as the 3 x I woke up.
59. And that I did wake up. Don’t know why, but I am.
60. And that some people read my blog. Maybe repeat so will do extra.
61. And that it feels like he is not the most important thing on the earth.
62. And that there is someone somewhere who *will * accept me for who I am.
63. As my friends do and I’m grateful for that too.
64. And that I can probably finish the 3 report cards this morning. So, I guess I’m grateful that I did the other 18 in time.
65. And that my cold seems to be drying up. I don’t want this settling in my chest.
66. And that St says let’s have tea soon.
67. Today’s For Today: “Without health and courage we cannot face the present or the germ of the future in the present, and we take refuge in evasion” Cyril Connolly This feels like it gives me strength for some reason.
68. And it says this, of which I’ve been guilty and am glad for the reminder I need to change: “am I in the habit of saying, “I wish things were better,” and putting off action to a day that never arrives?”
69. “Things cannot get better without some action on my part.”
70. And here’s what to do: “I acknowledge the problem, ask myself what I can do about it and then proceed accordingly.”
71. And “If I’ve done all I can and am unable to go further, I turn the matter over to my Higher Power and relax.”
72. And this is important: “I need to be aware, however, that fear may be at the root of my inability to do something. Doing involves risk and change and a chance of failure. But it also presents a chance for growth, which in the long run may make failure more beneficial than success.” Yuck though. But I get it.
73. And “For today I do not need to fear failure. I need, rather, the peace of mind that comes with taking the action I have been putting off.”
74. Wow. This is a biggy. May it be true for me. I’m glad I read it. In today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I receive my answer. I had a very serious decision to make regarding my future. In bed at 6 a.m., I prayed to the God of my understanding, “Please help me make the right decision. Show me a sign.” Immediately, words and phrases began racing through my mind. The answer becamse very clear, very uickly. I knew from prior experiences to get out of bed, grab a pencil and paper, and write down my thoughts. I thanked God and looked at the clock. It was 6:17 – my birthdate. What a gift! Peace of mind, clarity of thought, and knowing beyond a doubt that God is nearby.”
75. How comfortable in her body my little dog is.
76. That I could feel her next to me last night.
77. That she’d cuddling with me right now.
78. In today’s Voices of Recovery: “We will no longer simply do what we feel like doing or what we think we can get away with.” OA 12 & 12 p. 24
79. “This translates into one word for me: discipline, a word that my disease hates. I like the results I get from discipline, but don’t like the pain, discomfort, and patience it requires. That’s where I must trust a power greater than myself.”
80. “By trusting my higher Power and desiring to do His will, I’ll want to do the next right thing and even know what the next right thing is.” I am so grateful for these thoughts; that’s why I put them here, in gratitudes.
81. “I get the “wants” by going to OA meetings, praying, writing, following a food plan, and exercising. All these things are good for me, and I do them despite my disease screaming in rebellion.”
82. “No longer can I just do the things I can get away with or that I want to do. I am working an honest program while I learn to live with integrity and hold my head high.”
83. “Slowly my will is changing and aligning with my Higher Power’s will, one day at a time.” Yes. This is happening for me!
84. “It works if we work it. Don’t leave before the miracle happens – the miracle of recovery from compulsive overeating. It happens!” I love this “promise.”
85. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.”
86. “We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today.”
87. “We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves, as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.”
88. “Today, I wil pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not underreact by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.”
89. I am grateful for having met that wonderful sub yesterday and getting to chat with her a bit at lunch. She is deep.
90. And for finding out about Mi’s son. And putting him on my prayer list.
91. And for reading this morning that it is characteristic of people born when I was born to develop spiritually.
92. And that I was able to put down my report cards work and be there for M. yesterday when she was in need.
93. And that I gave her the present for self-pampering.
94. Ph’s time in the yard yesterday.
95. The beautiful weather yesterday.
96. A great sub Tuesday.
97. Marble party and surprise presents today. They’ll be happy.
98. St. answering my e-mail, and JJ too, even though no one else did.
99. My dr yesterday.
100. Meeting today.
101. Did another report card this am.
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