I am grateful (starting these on the 28th because already got 100 for the 28th, so starting early ! Good!):
1. I am glad that I have no obligations today.
2. I am actually enjoying my house, that I paid for and worked so hard for, and being in it alone today.
3. And that I have practiced a lot of piano already today! Chopin: )
4. And that right now I am sitting with a pot of blooming-tea and watching Dr. Oz. Because I can.
5. I am sorry that my friend didn’t come, and it was *strange * that her *boyfriend * - ick – called here because he “saw a missed message” and she’s “still sleeping.” I don’t trust him. And I’m not sure she’s not doing something she shouldn’t be doing for her own behalf. But – I am grateful that I am here for her. And I will stay for her.
6. And I am grateful for all that I learn about piano from my piano teacher.
7. And I am grateful that if my friend and I don’t go to the gym together today, I shall go alone tomorrow. Morning.
8. And to a meeting today too.
9. People are nice to me: ) (Just had phone call with pharmacy).
10. I’m starting to think – that – all is as it should be
11. Wed. morning: I am grateful for this thought: DON’T LOSE THE SUMMER BECAUSE YOU’LL GET SUCH A GREAT SCHEDULE AND CAN’T KEEP IT UP IN SEPT WITH WORK – ENJOY IT NOW!!!
12. This one is huge too. HUGE: I was in bed – last night or this morning, I don’t even remember which – and I thought: “I value my life. I’m glad I didn’t kill myself. I want to take care of my body so that I don’t suffer, and so that I can have fun and a good life.” WOW I ALMOST CAN’T BELIEVE I FELT THAT!
13. And I love these flowers. I think (gift)they’re from a florist and they’re expensive and something in the way they’re preserved or something makes me not allergic to them. But they bring me real cheer and I am going to find a way financially to have this kind of thing in my life.
14. I am glad I am going to extend myself for my friend.
15. And that today I shall go to the gym!
16. And my dr. should come later. And if he has to switch, which he said he might, then I’ll go to meeting.
17. And tomorrow is CoDA meeting.
18. And I’ll go *and * I’ll offer service by going far out of my way to bring this elderly person who wants to come but is afraid about finding it her first time. And I’m grateful that I’ll do that.
19. And doggie is here and I shall take a nice walk or two with her today. And if the park isn’t too wet I’ll take her there.
20. And I’m glad that I’ll get to practice piano.
21. And I really don’t have any obligations today except to myself. And that’s good for a change.
22. And maybe tomorrow I’ll take doggie and go to classroom and do some typing of books. Maybe.
23. And I’m very grateful for the people who’ve e-mailed me. Very grateful.
24. I’m grateful that I’m finding myself more extroverted than I thought I was. Like, I look forward to online communications, phone calls, and face-to-face friend time. Even my daily readings, which take me out of my own head and into someone else’s ideas. And I have to get out every day and be among people. Either I was wrong about how I thought I was, or I’ve changed, but I’m happy about it either way.
25. Today’s For Today talks of “fat serenity.” “That may be the price of holding onto self-will, to the need to control through food and fat.” Wow.
26. And it says, “In OA, ‘winners’ go to meetings, work the steps, have sponsors, make telephone calls, and practice abstinence. Have I been hoping for an easier way? There is none.”
27. And “I am not exempt from the cause-and-effect principles that govern the lives of all people.”
28. And “For today: God help me to see the truth about myself – to ask for the help I need and then use it.”
29. It said in a horoscope of mine today: “You may feel motivated today and experience a new level of determination when it comes to your activities. This motivated mind-set could also inspire you to make repairs or do some cleanup around your home. You might want to give some thought to the areas you want to improve and gain a clear idea of what you want to accomplish, as this will give form to your actions and eliminate wasted energy” And I happen to be going to the gym, and trying to set up my sunroom without spending – today!
30. Today’s Daily OM says, “People you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them as well.” That’s very interesting.
31. And it goes on to say, “When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like.”
32. And” Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues.”
33. And “When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits.”
34. And “Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience.”
35. And “You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like.” Yay.
36. And this: “Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror.”
37. I get to see M. tomorrow: )
38. Something I just read online just now: “You might consider taking a few minutes to create an inner vision of yourself as capable, confident, and empowered.”
39. And “ visualize a barrier of positive energy encasing you and know that nothing negative can cross this boundary unless you allow it to.”
40. And “Rather than striking out at perceived threats in an effort to defend ourselves, we can understand that our sense of safety and protection comes from within.”
41. And this: “As we learn to build up our confidence and inner strength, we develop the ability to detach from negativity and we no longer feel so vulnerable. We then benefit from a sense of safety and inner balance and the ability to handle any situation with a cool, calm, and contained attitude.”
42. And my favorite, this: “By setting strong emotional boundaries today, you are affirming your ability to take care of yourself in any situation.”
43. My piano practice is going well this morning, especially the left hand.
44. I Daily OM this one: “Tears are as natural to us as breathing and there is beauty in allowing yourself to be open to the pain of tears.”
45. And it goes on to say this: “How wonderful it feels to give in and let tears flow when we are overwhelmed with emotions, whether we are happy or sad. Tears come from the soul, from our well of feelings rising from deep down. When we give in to the prickling behind our eyes and the lump in our throat to let teardrops fall from our eyes, we allow our feelings to surface so they can be set free.”
46. And among other things: “Tears born from heartache can flow like they’ll never cease,”
47. And this: “Shedding tears can sometimes make us feel better, although it can feel like the tears will never end once the floodgates are open. There is no shame in letting tears flow freely and frequently. Tears are as natural to us as is breathing. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to shed tears. Open up, release your tears, and let your feelings flow.”
48. I am grateful that I took my shower and washed my hair and did the dishes. I almost didn’t.
49. I spoke with my mom. I’m grateful for that.
50. And that she’s okay today.
51. And that she had such a nice visit with her friend yesterday.
52. And that J. still does her pills weekly.
53. He was on his way over, she said, when I spoke to her. And I panicked that he might stop here and say he wants a divorce. This was ridiculous on my part. First of all because he can do that any time. And secondly because I can’t stop him. And third because I have to work on *me. * But although I felt panic, I did the things I have to do and I’m grateful for that.
54. I’m also grateful he didn’t do that.
55. And that my friend finally answered and I know she is okay.
56. And I’m going there for tea.
57. And I’m in my gym clothes and straight from there I’m going to the gym with or without her.
58. I just had a message from J and am glad it wasn’t anything about “us,” it was just could I take my mother for her routine dr test…
59. And I’m grateful for the dog
60. And for my compassion for her
61. Because the reason I missed that call was when the Jehovah’s Witnesses came to the door, she was *so happy * to see them and wanted to play…and I thought, “Oh, this dog needs the park.”
62. So I took her to the park. And I’m grateful for her that I did.
63. And I’m grateful for me that I did.
64. I walked for 30 minutes.
65. I sat by a stream while she drank and lay in it and walked across the rocks and explored for about 5 minutes.
66. And when we were walking a beautiful creature – a butterfly or moth type creature white almost blue came by and hovered and then met up with another one and they flew off together and it was so beautiful.
67. The weather is gorgeous and the park was gorgeous and I’m grateful for that.
68. And that I can walk right to it. That’s so lucky. I want to use it every day this that I can this summer. And especially with her.
69. And that this year I didn’t wait until July to get out there.
70. And that there *is * hope for our marriage, as I become a live-er.
71. And that that’s not why I’m doing it, but because God and my parents gave me life and I should get to have it and do good with it and enjoy it.
72. I’ve been putting off really beginning Step Eight, and in today’s Voices of Recovery it says: “…our purpose in doing Step Eight is not to judge others, but to learn attitudes of mercy and forgiveness.” And that’s fortuitous seeing that today.
73. I am so glad that I went to O’s and had lunch together.
74. And that I overcame my fear and went to the gym. They made an appointment for me for tomorrow for a trainer to show me what to do, so I didn’t exercise there today. And I’m so glad I went
75. And tomorrow I get to go there and exercise – with help.
76. And I had a healthy lunch.
77. Today’s Recovery Meditation says “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder. Great!
78. And it says: “I have learned that I can be accountable for my
choices and actions.”
79. And “I no longer have to allow myself to be bound by an emotional link to a painful situation.”
80. And this: I will ask my Higher Power to help me to learn to forgive and forget. With the help of my Higher Power, I will let go of unnecessary baggage that causes resentment.”
81. My dr. seems to agree that there is hope. For me.
82. And – *feels * that J will not be asking for a divorce – not out of love, but out of, why bother at this point. Hey, I’ll take that for now.
83. That my friend is alive.
84. That he didn’t hurt her.
85. That he didn’t threaten her.
86. That he didn’t try to get her to take drugs.
87. That she wants to be through with him.
88. Also, I don’t even want drugs in my life and I’m grateful for that.
89. That the windows and doors are open and breeze is coming through (it is morning now).
90. And Ph and I woke up.
91. And I thanked God.
92. And spoke with Sponsor.
93. That I am *able * to drive to take mother to her appointments. So that
94. I have legs
95. And arms
96. And a car
97. And a valid driver’s license
98. And time
99. And gas money
100. And my mother.
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