Yesterday's 100 Gratitudes, Finished and Posted Today

I am grateful:

1. That I woke up this morning. And thanked God for the day. And knelt-prayed. And prostrate prayed. And cuddled and treated Ph.
2. I am grateful that I made the coffee last night: )
3. And that I did my CoDA AM work.
4. Today’s For Today says: “Often I am not conscious of my (self) reproachful thoughts until they are clearl on the surface. Then I turn them over to my Higher Power, ask to have them removed so I may be free to live fully, without either arrogance or false modesty.”
5. And: “For today: For an honest, balanced view of myself, I take a few moments in which I free my mind of everything except God’s love for me.” This is huge that’s why I’ve boldened it.
6. That really, in the mornings, I am filling my soul it feels like.
7. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “For me, the first stage of Step Six is to accept that I have weaknesses and to know that God embraces me nonetheless.”
8. The phrase, ‘You’re only as sick as your secrets.” Like, I need to tell my dr. I didn’t change my sheets for 4 months. And what if I had admitted everything to myself years ago, how different would my life be now?
9. That cute adorable little Ph just put a smile on my face and it’s lasting. Just watching her the way she comes over and just stands here hoping I’ll see if she wants to go out. And then happily grabs her big gorilla toy and struggles getting it to the kitchen. And then her excitement getting out there and looking around to greet and meet and see what’s out there in the new day.
10. And she’s a good example for me.
11. *I * was more concerned with how it all seemed to others, to get my own self-worth, than with what I was really doing in life, relationship, home. I’m so saddened about that. But grateful that I get that now and don’t want to be that way anymore. And am changing. Hard to believe I was that way.
12. But I’m also grateful for the message from Sp and program, that I don’t have to put myself down or feel bad about that stuff – those were ways I coped. They served me in their day.
13. And I don’t need them now.
14. Although apparently with the holiday Monday they weren’t collecting garbage yesterday, and I didn’t know that, I’m grateful that I did get it out there.
15. I’m grateful that right now, I’m feeling a little more positive than when I woke up. And even enjoying my flowers. Enjoying them.
16. Wow. This is huge. And I’m not even sure I can do it, but it says in today’s, “The Language of Letting Go,” “Today, I will own my power to be direct. I do not have to be passive, nor do I need to be aggressive. I will become comfortable with my own truth, so those around me can become comfortable with me.”
17. Although there are no Followers listed under Followers on m blog today [ : ( ! ] – I did get a Comment from a new person who lists my blog as one she follows, on hers. And that felt great!
18. Sp said this morning: “Doing the opposite of what addicts do always makes me feel good.”
19. And that 24 hour a day peace *is * possible – or almost 24 hours a day – recovery is like heaven on earth
20. And have poison inside – keep getting it out – and keep developing poison so keep getting it out
21. And More like [what J. said about] the Buddha - the space between is much less.
22. “Working the program to get the craziness out of me and to live a serene and happy life.”
23. And Sp said, “I never realized how constricted I was. Then I started doing other things.” And feels like not only bubble has expanded to the whole planet, but doesn’t even have a bubble – like there’s nothing can’t do. All the fears that I’m aware of, I have gone through. Except rollercoaster but I’m not afraid of it anymore.”
24. And “So that I’m not enclosed by the fear.”
25. And “I am not aware of being afraid of something.”
26. That I started working Step Seven with the workbook this morning.
27. Sp “Nothing is stopping me from doing anything.”
28. I am grateful for some little things, like that I got to work on time.
29. And principal didn’t act mad that I forgot our appointment yesterday.
30. And that I got a really nice present for MA’s birthday.
31. And didn’t spend too much.
32. And am watching Dr. Oz right now, which is helping women.
33. And dr. will be here soon.
34. And I just checked my blog and my followers ARE there. They’re just not listed because of some sort of blogger issue.
35. And some wrote me beautiful comments. Thank you, God. And friends. And Commenters.
36. My dr came
37. And was honest with me. But it hurt. But I like the honesty.
38. I got up and started my self-work right away today.
39. I was a real help to that kid from the other class yesterday. And he really needed it.
40. I did sleep.
41. Ph was cuddly when we first woke up this morning.
42. And she was so happy to see dr.
43. And she is outside now.
44. And today someone comes to talk about cleaning up the yard
45. And I do have my program.
46. And my Higher Power.
47. And hope. These are some repeats so I’ll do more.
48. Today I’ll give to children at lunch.
49. MA’s dr. appointment went well! Yay!
50. Maybe I’ll see her this weekend
51. I have clean underwear this week. As opposed to last week when I went without for a couple of days because I could not keep up with laundry and wasn’t going to wear dirty ones
52. Got some info on things to take that will help ward off Alzheimers. Especially since it’s in both our families.
53. Since my diagnosis is learned, it can be unlearned. Dr. said so. Said keep doing what I’m doing.
54. It says in today’s For Today: ”Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced – Even a proverb is no proverb to you till your Life has illustrated it.” John Keats And that helps me understand when Sp says, Would you have believed (or understood) this if I’d just told you, months ago?
55. And it refers to something I *have * felt and helps with that: “For today: There is no reason to be discouraged if newcomers express doubt that the recovery they see will happen for them. Their experience of the disease is propelling them toward experiencing recovery.”
56. In today’s Voices of Recovery it says, “Before I turn a problem over to God, I am reasonably sure that God expects me ot take a stab at doing my part.” For Today p. 179. And: “This quote helps remind me that there are things I can do to help myself.”
57. And “I couldn’t handle food on my own, but I had to get to OA before God would help me with the food and my unmanageable life.”
58. And “What more could I ask for? I now have a loving Higher Power and friends to support me. I feel immensely grateful.”
59. I’m grateful I’ve never been attacked with a gun.
60. Or a knife.
61. Or raped.
62. Or kidnapped.
63. Or mugged.
64. Or house burglarized.
65. Or had to serve on a jury.
66. Or had to serve in the military.
67. Or lost anyone I love in the military.
68. Or in a war.
69. Or to starvation.
70. Or genocide.
71. And that I have flowers growing outside – those deep pink ones and I did have forsythia and lilacs and something white, I think.
72. And rhododendron. I love those.
73. And azaleas. Wow. That’s a lot of flowers.
74. Today’s “language of Letting Go: “We don’t have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don’t have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little.”
75. And: “n recovery from codependency, we learn there’s a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves.”
76. And this one, “When others act irresponsibley and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences.”
77. And “When others talk nonsense, we con’t question our own thinking.”
78. And “When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it’s okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan.”
79. And “We don’t have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we’re in authorit. “
80. “People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals.”
81. It said: But we are equals. That’s important to me!
82. And this great one: “Our magic is not in them.”
83. And “Our magic, our light, is in us”
84. And “And it is as bright a light as theirs.” Wow.
85. And this is important too:”We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don’t have to become aggressive or controlling. We don’t have to discount others. But we don’t discount ourselves either.”
86. And “Today, I will own my power with people. I will let myself know what I know, feel what I feel, believe what I believe, and see what I see. I will be open to changing and learning from others and experience, but I will trust and validate myself too. I will stand in my own truth.” Wow. Empowering, yes, but big job too. Well I’m grateful for the thought.
87. That I just got off my butt and walked the dog for 6 minutes. (That was all she wanted. Happy, tail wagging, but pulling back for home).
88. And that it was beautiful out.
89. And that I did this *for her. *
90. And that it was good *for me. *
91. And the more I do this, the better for my health. So I’m glad I’m doing.
92. My toe, I’m sure is broken, and I’m getting like a muscle pull in my leg from compensating when I walk, I guess, but at least I *can * walk.
93. That I just found out that adorable first grader who needs someone nearby when he walks because of balance issues, actually has cp, and used to be a wheelchair! I’m so happy that he isn’t anymore.
94. And how his amazing spirit of seemingly constant happiness is so inspiring.
95. And that reminds me of L.S. who I don’t think can move purposely from the neck down, cp also, but also always has a beautiful spirit. I’m happy for her.
96. And for the inspiration she provides me and others as well.
97. And selfishly, doesn’t that also mean there is hope for a sot like me. And it’s a reminder about the importance of attitude.
98. That I will have lentil soup for lunch today. Homemade and healthy.
99. And I will stop at the nearby store for the kid treats. No pressure about supermarket trips…
100. And D. will take care of the camera situation.
101. And M. does love me.
102. And I think MA does too.
103. And maybe ML
104. And maybe S.