I am grateful:
1. That in today’s Language of Letting Go, it says: “Nobody has appreciated him enough…Nobody has been good enough to [him], or done for [him] what I can do…It’s a rescue. It’s a game move, a game we don’t have to play.”
2. “ We don’t have to prove we’re the one. If we’re out to show people we’re the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they’re the best thing that ever happened to us.” Wow.
3. And: “We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or ‘the one who will.’”
4. :The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally.”
5. “Let it.”
6. Wow. There’s a lot of lesson in there for me today.
7. And, “God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.”
8. That I was able to be a little help at least, to M yesterday and today regarding her sub plans. Especially after all she did for me when J. was in hospital last winter.
9. That despite not feeling well and my strong depressive feelings today, and my bad windshield, I made it here safely today.
10. That I think I realize something new about my eating too. Arugula, although dark and leafy, isn’t enough to count as my dark greens for a day. I’m glad to know that.
11. That F. did get home okay.
12. And that I know that because he just called here : )
13. He called because he “forgot what the homework is.” And I’m glad he did.
14. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.” Helen Keller
15. ‘The good news is that even though
I may be experiencing negative feelings,
I am learning empathy and I am gaining
wisdom.” (Recovery Meditation E-mail_
16. And this: “The good news is that even though
I may be experiencing negative feelings,
I am learning empathy and I am gaining
wisdom.”
17. And this: “How could I ever comprehend bliss
without experiencing misery? How could I
enjoy inspiration without suffering
depression? How could I appreciate peace
without encountering turmoil?”
18. And this: “One Day at a Time…
I will allow myself the honor of feeling
human emotion. I will ask my Higher
Power to give me comfort in my hardships
and to help me remember why I am here. I
will ask my Higher Power to open my
heart to the lessons I am learning. For
today, with hope and faith, I will look
for the sunbeams shining through the
haze.”
19. On Compassion (another Rec. Med): “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these.” George Washington Carver.
20. And “This Twelve Step program works wonders on many levels.”
21. “We need to remember where
we were in our disease, for there are
others in that same situation. We need
to see ourselves in the newcomers to our
program, because we run the risk of
returning to where they are now.”
22. And: “Sometimes we see varying degrees of
success in this program of recovery. We
must each work our program, and allow
our fellows to work their program. It's
not up to us to take someone else's
inventory concerning the success or
failure of their program. We need only
to keep our own side of the street
clean, and to show compassion to those
of our fellows who are struggling. After
all, compassion was what prompted the
founding of our fellowship in the first
place.”
23. And: “ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .
I will consciously practice compassion
toward those who still suffer, because I
remember where I came from on this path,
and realize I could return there.”
24. That M just called. Chitty chat = good.
25. And she had a great day, and I’m glad.
26. And I just had a nice little talk with my mother. O, etc. piano etc.
27. Maybe Martha will come tonight.
28. Maybe Ch’s company will finally clean the outdoors tomorrow.
29. My kids and I had a great day today: )
30. And – they’re only one marble away: )
31. And yesterday’s faculty meeting was pleasant.
32. And I have never had a stroke
33. Or embolism
34. Or anursym
35. Or diabetes.
36. Or illiteracy.
37. And I love dreading since kindergarten.
38. And, it turns out, I can get the credit for the course after all: )
39. And M said that I told her I’d be welcome there *every * Monday if we want (she and I) before my meeting – because I am a wonderful person: )
40. That felt good.
41. And when my Serious Skin Care stuff comes, I’m going to give some to M!
42. And – maybe *I’ll * bring dinner once too: )
43. Next morning: that I *will * be taking little poodle for 4 days in July. I’ve decided and they’re also delighted.
44. That student asked for meaning of symbiotic, regarding trees and us, and I gave it to her. It was a thrilling moment.
45. That our second butterfly came out!
46. And that the first one was from the floor of the garden!
47. That I just brought down the paper recycling.
48. That I just wrote to thank M. Even though I have a lot to do and am rushed in the mornings. Because she has been a real support to me.
49. It seems there are *two * kinds of flowers blooming right now in the yard. Red roses and another deep pink something. Nice!
50. That I never had an affair with Iw.
51. That although it’s going to be very hot today, right now it is nice with a little breeze and I was down there and now the door is open with screen shut and it feels (and sounds – birds) good.
52. That the book I’m reading the kids is so good for me too.
53. That I *believe * I will get done what I need to these 2 ½ weeks. Don’t know how, and may be crazy to think so, but do believe it.
54. That I spoke to my mother yesterday (as always but I appreciate it).
55. Her love.
56. That I cancelled Mar last night. Really didn’t feel well and I think it was smart to do.
57. That although some people think I should and some people think I shouldn’t, I am still praying for my marriage with J to heal. It is not finished, there is hope, and God is all powerful. And I will do all I can. And I’m glad for that.
58. My OA friends
59. My online friends.
60. People who read my blog! I am so grateful for them! I felt very bad all alone in cyberspace at the beginning!
61. In today’s For Today: “Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.” Charles F. Kettering
62. The goslings are so big now – and still fluffy – and out there pecking away, with the adults. I love to see them in the mornings.
63. The gifts – so many – of nature, to me.
64. Back to For Today: “Am I satisfied to be the way I am? I used to think the answer was No, but then why did I go right on being the way I always was, resisting change? To my compulsive overeater way of thinking, my opinions seemed to be truth and I never dreamed of changing them. But something happened.”
65. “I found OA and was encouraged to have an open mind about some things. “
I did as I was told, and it brought me the gift of abstinence
66. and an awakening to the presence of a Power greater than myself.
67. The frontier I see before me today is limitless.
68. For today: My first priority is keeping my mind open to know God’s will for me.”
69. I am grateful too that I prayed for abstinence this morning.
70. And that I am doing the St. Jude Novena.
71. And that I’ve found those two online post places that suit my need for spirituality more than the one I had been trying for a few years. More appropriate posting that stuff there.
72. That it says in this morning’s In This Moment, “This year my goal is acceptance of life on life’s terms. I meet my goal when I remember to surrender. I ask for help to know God’s will for me and for the power to carry it out.”
73. And first thing in Voices of Recovery “. . .praying only for knowledge of His wil for us and the power to carry that out.” Step Eleven. I guess I need to keep being reminded of this stuff.
74. And this – I’m grateful for reading this on that same page: “This last part of Step Eleven has become my natural response to the problems in my life, especially those that involve another person. I clung to it as a prayer during one of the worst times of my life. The quicksand of denial had caught me, and I was enabling my son to stay on drugs. In my confusion and pain, I turned to these words for the guidance and strength to do the right thing. I typed this prayer and kept it with me to remind me of what action to take when I wanted to run.”
75. And “As I consciously contacted God through this prayer, my mind would clear and let me focus on God’s will. Peace came when I knew He would give my son and me the power we needed to do His will. This simple prayer was a way I could touch God and pray for my son and myself at the same time.” That’s helpful to me.
76. In today’s Language of Letting Go, it is talking about something I’ve started to try to find more of for my life: Fun.
77. And it says, “Have some fun – with life, with the day.”
And “Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom.”
78. And “Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spirit.”
79. And “Become sensitive to lightness of spirit.”
80. And “The journey can be an exciting adventure. Let yourself enjoy it.
And this: “Today, I will have some fun with life, with recovery, with people, and with my day.” I needed that.
81. My class has earned their last marble
82. And K called me here
83. And my dr can come a little later so I can do the stupid computer lesson mandate crap today
84. My kids just used laptops and were so happy
85. A sub, a visiting teacher, another sub and I had a really nice philosophical discussion at beginning of lunch time today
86. The classroom is hot as death, so I’m grateful that the faculty room is air conditioned
87. And that the computer room for my after school course is
88. All three butterflies lived!
89. And A. (student) brought orange for them yesterday
90. And I did today.
91. And shared with M.
92. And with D. for their butterflies
93. D. gave ices for me to give the kiddies today
94. And we sat out in the shade and had
95. I finally finished the Word Analysis for 2 kids
96. And recorded online
97. And will do the other 3 kids tomorrow (deadline day)
98. Tr has said I could talk to her at any time about my life stuff if I want: ) : ) : )
99. B. has said J. and I are invited to her daughter’s wedding. That’s nice. I don’t know that he’ll be coming, but that’s nice.
100. I have finally finished yesterday’s 100!
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