I am grateful:
1. That I was so nice to K and said do *not * miss working out at the gym for date with me
2. Hope (repeat so I’ll add more)
3. That I did my step work this am
4. Dr. comes today
5. I’ll get through this work somehow.
6. We’ll release the butterflies into the nature where they would normally live soon – maybe tomorrow
7. I will read to them twice tomorrow – once first thing in the morning
8. That I’ve figured out how to record the Word Analysis online
9. That G. went to get the mobile lab
10. And C. brought us the ices from way across the so-hot building
11. And G. went to put back the extras
12. We sat in the shade a little
13. That I offered again, at faculty meeting, to give up my comp. time if someone with deadline needed it.
14. That I don’t cheat on the DRAs. I know some people do.
15. Hope (repeat so will do extra)
16. Pickles for J. The special ones. Offered to me – I didn’t ask – but I took when offered: )
17. M called.
18. Dr came.
19. Had good idea.
20. Upset the balance.
21. Will try for one week. Am grateful for all this.
22. I’m grateful for the opportunity of summer to do some making over of myself.
23. And that I wasn’t overwhelmingly sick over them not taking my recycling yesterday. I think I just put it out too late. I will call to make sure I put out the right thing this Wednesday, and will get it out early.
24. A/c in my home, at least in two rooms.
25. That yesterday, in that horrible heat, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and we all got through.
26. That I talked to the kids about hydrating.
27. That I did sleep.
28. That maybe those staircase dreams meant something positive.
29. That I’m not all alone in cyber-space (repeat so will add extra)
30. Hope (repeat so will add extra)
31. That I’m trying to do the right thing every day.
32. That although I don’t feel well, and it will be so incredibly hot, in the 100’s in the classroom, I will go in today.
33. That I will finish the DRAs today.
34. That M and I will sit together for ordering and for Booksource.
35. That next week and the week after, I will get the classroom done somehow.
36. That although I’d like the money, I don’t have more summer days.
37. New starts.
38. That I agreed to follow my doctor’s idea.
39. Maybe today the yard will get done.
40. That I will pray for abstinence
41. That my dr. said the stuff K is telling me is right on.
42. That parents seem to appreciate me. Now.
43. That I am able to do more around here than I thought I could.
44. That I am upstanding.
45. That I don’t take endless crap from D.
46. That my kids are so incredibly happy lately.
47. That every one of them has improved so much as a reader.
48. Particularly in light of my discussion with my dr. yesterday, I’m grateful that today’s For Today says: “Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.” Plautus
49. And it says, “Patience is not a virtue commonly found in obsessive/compulsive personalities. Waiting for something I want is not only hard; it often takes agonizing effort.”
50. And “Thank God that this program gives me the resources with which I slowly cultivate patience.”
51. And that “I have a new awareness of my anxiety and impatience.”
52. And “I breathe a silent prayer: ‘Slow me down, God.’”
53. And this one: “For today: The nuisances as well as the heavy burdens of my life are better taken care of if I don’t feel I have to rush to ‘do something ‘about them the minute they occur.’”
54. I’m grateful that in today’s In This Moment it says, “In This Moment, I feel free. In my codependence, I’ve had trouble making decisions, even small ones. I’m getting better at it now.”
55. And that I will get to that meeting tonight. Somehow.
56. And that it says, “One of the best decisions I made was joining a CoDA group, a couple of years ago, and attending regularly.”
57. And “I know now that I have a right to make decisions and have my own opinions.”
58. And even “I’m pleased with most of the decisions I make and consider all my choices to be learning experiences.”
59. And it says this which means maybe this is possible for me: “I feel free and I want to stay that way.”
60. Discussing with that sub and visitor yesterday, coming better to the realization that I did the best I could with what I knew then. Didn’t have to discuss particulars either.
61. And sub Phy saying Life *will * throw curves at you. It’s what you do with them.
62. And visitor saying same kind of thing.
63. I felt less alone
64. And more hopeful.
65. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “When we face th guilt that truthfully tells us, You made a mistake, ‘ we’re freed of shame that falsely tells us, ‘You are a mistake.’” OA 12 & 12 p. 43
66. That I got a little useful info in the comp. meeting yesterday, about social networking and professionalism.
67. And Voices of Recovery says: Once I had shared [step 5] the mistake I’ve made with another human being and was heped to see my assets, I was amazed that my life went on.”
68. And “With the help of the program, the Fellowship of Overeaters Anonymous, and my Higher Power, the feeling deep within that the core of my being was rotten has left me.”
69. And this: “A day at a time, the need to destroy myself with food is taken away from me as I face the scars of my disease.”
70. Oh boy. In Language of Letting Go today it starts with, “Self-care means taking responsibility for ourselves.” Okay. And I *am * grateful to read that. It’s really time.
71. And then it says, “Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others.”
72. And “Learning that we need only take responsibility for ourselves may be such a great relief that, for a time, we disown our responsibilities to others.”
73. And “The goal in recovery is to find the balance: we take responsibility for ourselves, and we identify our true responsibilities to others.”
74. And it says “We are also learning that while others aren’t responsible for us, they are accountable to us in certain ways.”
75. And “We can learn to discern our true responsibilities for ourselves, and to to ohers. We can allow others to be responsible for themselves and expect them to be appropriately responsible to us.”
76. And this one, which is so important for me: “We’ll need to be gentle with ourselves while we learn.”
77. And a biggy: “Today, I will strive for clear thinking about my actual responsibilities to others. I will assume these responsibilities as part of taking care of myself.”
78. That I’m saying my Seventh Step prayer daily now.
79. And that I’ve just said it *with * the particulars.
80. That although I hadn’t heard them yet, at end of my meditation I heard the birds.
81. And that’s also evidence for how important the meditation is!
82. I am grateful that I did have that kale salad yesterday. I don’t think I’d have been in any shape to make and eat a plain vegetable.
83. I think I’ll stop for a sandwich and more kale salad today, and have that and only that for dinner. And I’m grateful that I can do it.
84. Opened big book at random, third time found this: “I thought at times that he was telling my story! I had thought that I was completely different from other people, that I was beginning to become a little balmy, even to the point of withdrawing more and more from society and wanting to be along with my bottle. Here was a man with essentially the same outlook on life, except that he had done something about it. He was happy, getting a kick out of life and people, and beginning to get his medical practice back again. As I look back on that first evening, I realize that I began to hope, then, for the first time; and I felt that if he could regain these tings, perhaps it would be possible for me too.”
85. Then this, “When I first came to this Fellowship, I had lost my health and sanity, my friends, much of my family, my self-respect, and my God. In the years since, all of these have been restored to me. I no longer have the sense of impending doom. I no longer with for death or stare oat myself in the mirrow with loathing. ..”
86. And then this (each in a different story): “It is almost impossible to adequately describe how much the program has given me, even in just these six short years…”
87. And on p. 406, this one: “MY marriage is no longer on the brink and is better than ever. And the best is yet to come. All this and more I owe to the Fellowship in the rooms and the program in the book.”
88. And of course this most famous one on 417. “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as non what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
89. And this: “Strength has come from weakness.”
90. And: “I want to keep this life of peace, serenity, and tranquility that I have found. Today, I have found again the home I left and the woman I married when she was still so young. We have two more children, and they think their dad is an important ma. I have all these wonderful tings – people who mean more to me than anything in the world. I shall keep all that, and I won’t have to drink, if I remember one simple thing: to keep my hand in the hand of God.”
91. And that I am going to the end of chapters and finding these quotes, and it is like another version of the promises.
92. “…wife…baby…My work is on a much deeper and more significant level…and I am today a fairly creative, relatively sane human being. And should I have more bad times, I know that I’ll never again have to go through them alone.”
93. And: “Yet despite the help of many professionals, I know I would never have recovered from violence and alcoholism without A.A’s Twelve Steps, which are uniquely tailored for people like me.
94. Followed by: “Just as importantly, I believe that I recovered throughout the grace of a Higher Power…”
95. And “The rewards of sobriety are bountiful and a s progressive as the disease they counteract. “
96. And “Certainly among these rewards for me are release from the prison of uniqueness, and the realization that participation in the A.A. way of life is a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate – a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradation of drinking and filled with the joy of useful, sober living, and a privilege to grow in sobriety on e day at a time and bring the message of hope as it was brought to me.”
97. Sp: Things are there, that I do not see, that are miracles but when I’m in the right place. Cause I walk out of my house to the parking lot and that walk doesn’t change it’s not possible and things are there that are joyous things and when I’m in a receptive mood I see beautiful things.
98. Like that flower – it’s a foot tall – it was there yesterday – it didn’t grow every night.
99. So that when I’m receptive to God’s magic, I can see it I can feel it I like suck air it’s so awesome.
100. Like in front of next door, it was an arid dirt area cause they built a wall and seeded it with like magic grass cause it was a lawn like a day later
101. And the wind brought some to my steps and it is coming up between – and it’s like magic – “won’t survive” but is gorgeous!
102. How everything struggles to stay alive, to live, to grow, to be. Oh, look how pretty I am.
103. To me it’s like a gift.” All of this from Sp. today.
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