I am grateful:
1. I am grateful for flowers. Daisies
2. and roses
3. and New Guinea impatiens
4. and rose impatiens
5. and poppies
6. and those CA ones
7. and lilacs
8. and morning glories
9. and those bird ones
10. and lilies
11. and orchids
12. and daffodils and crocuses
13. and tulips
14. That I found at: http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/mental_health/codependency.htm
“A good relationship is good, not because of the person we love, but because of the person we are. One person does not a relationship make.”
15. “You can’t keep it unless you give it away.” Sp heard at first meeting, and Sp thought they were crazy.
16. And same lady (who wrote one of the articles in the Lifeline Sampler and was a keynote speaker at the convention) said, “There is no justice. There just is.”
17. And Sp spoke to me like this: Life is a mountain. And everybody has rocks on their backs as climbing the mountain. And Sp tried to lighten own load. Drop off some rocks.
18. And I give service, said Sp. When I see someone stumble, I pull them up by the elbow and help them along.
19. “I don’t care if you like me. I have to love you.” Another statement Sp heard in course of a qualification.
20. And Sp used to take all these sayings and put them in a book. And all of these are sayings about how to live life. And how to live life happy, and serene and free. Comfortable even though it’s hot a sticky.
21. And Sp said, “Carry a fan, dress lighter, walk in the shade, drink water – 1000 things to do to walk on a hot sticky day – but used to think God is no good to me. It’s unfair. I don’t feel those anymore.”
22. And “And all it is is I make up my mind to be happy, and I find ways to do it.”
23. And Sp said: “I’ve come from a place that nobody would believe. I seem serene and happy and wise and intelligent – it’s all bullshit – I’m an addict and I’m nuts but he program has healed me. It’s put bandages on my cuts. I don’t mind climbing the mountain. The view is magnificent. The air is good-” (Then phone call came and Sp had to go).
24. That I did find a few minutes for step work this morning. It was good for me.
25. That my lunch with the other teacher and the 6 kids was adorable and they had a great time!
26. And I even enjoyed it. Pleasant.
27. And that we managed; I got good drinks and desserts for them and wasn’t really tempted by them myself.
28. That C. walked my kids to their co-curricular, so I could rest my foot.
29. And although I shall miss her terribly, that J. picked up Ph today because I really *can’t * walk her right now and take her to park and other happy things: (
30. I just found this quote, (by looking up hope quotes online) and may it be true: “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” (Cosby)
31. And this one: “Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
32. And this one: “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
33. And this: “Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.”
34. And this one too: “When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.”
35. And from looking up recovery slogans, I found this: “Every recovery from addiction began with one sober Minute” (mine is food, but same thing as drink in these ways)
36. And this one: “First we stayed sober because we have to... then we stay sober because we are willing to.... finally we stay sober because we want to...”
37. And: “One bite is too many; one thousand bites is not enough.”
38. And maybe this one can help me get to more meetings because I have a hard time *wanting * to lately (although I do go): “Bring the body and the mind will follow.”
39. The lovely comment I just responded to in e-mail. I was feeling sorry for myself because of pain with broken toe and uncomfortable time when hubby called while I was crying in car, and him having to take doggie because I can’t do for her (walk and parkwise) what she needs right now (toe) and then I checked my e-mail and this lovely message was there. I’m thankful. It literally lifted my mood.
40. I am sitting with no fans on (as opposed to FOUR yesterday!) and the windows opened and the door open, and a LOVELY breeze coming through. It’s beautiful! Really!
41. I get to go to CoDA tonight!
42. And Ill know about my yard work soon! (about 2 ½ hours from now).
43. Ch was just here. I’m glad he came. I wasn’t sure he would.
44. I will afford the yard clean- up somehow. And I’ll have to find a way to afford the Oct Nov thing. Cut way down in the summer, foods, magazines, books, use library, presents, gas (carpool more to meetings, taking turns, or charge for rides if the person has money), walk more, cut some time with dr? work more in summer? also must save more! I owe him to pay through Nov, as per our agreement today, and I will do it (end of each month as we said).
45. I will also find a way to put up that screen thing.
46. And I *will * be using my yard before the end of this month! : ) Yay!!!!!
47. And I *will * wash and put out some of the furniture so I have a table and some chairs and one lounge if I still have one: )
48. And I *will * find a way to pay for snow removal next year, at least the part I cannot do.
49. Barbeque can wait a year. That’s okay: ) I can still make things and eat outside – like zucchini and tomatoes (cold).
50. And corn on the cob from the stovetop.
51. And lentil burgers.
52. And cole slaw.
53. And beautiful salads.
54. And even my oven bake thing. It’s okay to use the oven once a week or so.
55. And whole-grain pasta with veggies: )
56. And whole-grain pasta with my vegan “pesto.”
57. Grilled veggies? Is there a way to do that on the stove? Or is there a cheap counter type one I could get? I will find out: )
58. Oh – and I have to find a way to pay for a tree guy : ( Just because to keep them safe – it’s been too long and they do need it. But these are the “problems” of the worried well, and I’m aware of that.
59. And I *will * get all the end-of-year stuff done for school. I will just do it.
60. I’m glad I came home and got off this foot!
61. And will tape it and wear thongs tomorrow.
62. And I’m very very glad to find on a medical site that the TNH type of mindfulness is particularly good for borderline personality disorder.
63. And that my doctor has heard that too.
64. And maybe by explaining “what it means” to him yesterday when he asked, I have helped him and other patients! : )
65. On Dr. Phil website: “If you’ve got to lose who you are to be half of a couple, that’s not a good couple to be half of.” THAT’S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HEAR! I’m glad I saw it!
66. And he said: “There’s a point at which your self-worth has to tell you that self-destructiveness is not a good thing. It’s not a healthy relationship in an way whatsoever!” “And they say it like hey it’s a good thing – look how committed I am.” And that’s when he added: If you’ve got to lose who you are to be half of a couple, that’s not a good couple to be half of.
67. And I saw this somewhere else on his site. "The standard is treat me with dignity and respect or not at all," Dr. Phil explains.
68. And that for the first time ever, I’ve actually gotten something out of the Dr. Phil site.
69. That I found one and possible two acoa meetings. I’m not going to work multiple programs, but maybe I’ll get something out of going? I’m glad I found
70. And e-mailed
71. And heard back.
72. And one of them (if they do decide to star it) might be during one of my most lonely times of the week.
73. I’m grateful that even though it is hard to do and I miss her terribly(!) that I let Ph go back because I know it’s better for *her. *
74. And I’m grateful that I’m that kind of person.
75. And I’m grateful that this was in a Daily OM I saw today: “Take a break by spending time in your home today, and you will feel peaceful and restored as you go about your activities.” Because I *have * been feeling better about being at my home very recently.
76. And I’m glad I’ve been feeling that.
77. I, this morning, am grateful I woke up and hear birds! And that there’s more coffee.
78. I’m grateful that I generously shared coffee with Ch last night even though he’s a pain in the ass about it
79. I’m grateful that I did my in bed prayer, my kneeling prayer, and my CoDA feelings work
80. And – I feel good in my own skin. Although I’m kind of despairing inside, and my chest hurts, something else feels good in my own skin physically. Wearing these shells, even though I’m fat, keeps me in touch or something.
81. That we’ll have the mobile lab this morning. That will bring my kids great joy!
82. That M will probably come in and show me how to set it up.
83. That although I really didn’t feel like it, and got up late, I did do my morning CoDA stuff. It does seem to help.
84. That I’m keeping my house straightened. Still more to do, but what I’ve done I’m almost totally keeping up with.
85. That I can sleep a lot tonight if I want.
86. That I will have healthy lentil soup for lunch.
87. And I think, ONE no bread day.
88. I am grateful fot he example of my college French teacher. I wonder if she was Buddhist.
89. And the high school Spanish teacher. Although I didn’t take Spanish, I had her for something – I don’t remember what – Sister Lucy – and her positivity. She was always in a good mood and when asked how she would say, how could I not I have a Savior in Jesus of something like that. It sounds strange typing it but it sounded sincere and happy and beautiful when she would say it, walk it and live it.
90. Jo coming to straighten out all the computer stuff. I appreciate her so.
91. That I don’t drink coffee all day long like some people. It would be very bad for me
92. That the book course isn’t until Tues. MAYBE I’ll read the book after all if I can find it.
93. Up until now in my life, I have always managed to work things out to keep alive and going and paying bills and some hope. So probably I can now too.
94. Maybe by a week from now, with the right thing(s?) on my foot, I can take Ph for a while and be able to walk her again.
95. I am going to go to the gym as soon as I can. With H. Work around the foot or as soon as it’s better. I think. I’m grateful for the opportunity anyway.
96. K will probably come for a bit sometime this weekend.
97. And maybe we’ll do MA’s birthday.
98. And I’ll get to give her the beautiful gift.
99. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get myself to read some of my help-self literature.
100. I’m about to pray and do my other stuff now and I’m glad I have this other stuff to go to in the mornings.
101. And that I don’t have a job I hate. Too many people do.
No comments:
Post a Comment