I am grateful:
1. I went in today.
2. I got through the meeting day.
3. No bad calls or e-mails from my mother or J.
4. Ate a very healthy lunch! Protein, whole grain, lots veggie.
5. And a piece of fruit too. All good.
6. Relaxing and going to sleep early tonight!
7. Ph is fine.
8. Talked to mother this morning.
9. And it was fine.
10. Although didn’t feel had energy or time to, did call Sponsor.
11. And had a very nice call.
12. And Sp said good for too (not just for me)
13. I’m going to have a healthy and tasty dinner and nothing else.
14. That I spoke with M today about more stuff at that religious center.
15. Next morning now: That I got enough sleep last night. And despite the fact that I awoke with the hole in my stomach, one dream was pleasant.
16. Today’s For Today: “I now that solutions come as I need them from m Higher Power
17. “and that my life is possible only with the true miracle of abstinence and sobriety, a gift from God.
18. “That I know for today, and just for today.”
19. And this: “What I know for sure is that I am a compulsive overeater, that I am powerless over food and that survival depends on turning my life and my will over to a Power greater than myself.”
20. My prayer to God to just please help me.
21. Today’s In This Moment, “I’m searching for how I can ‘say what I mean and mean what I say, in a non-shaming way.”
22. I am grateful that I am staying home today. Throat and nose and freezing and need rest and good food and to cook and clean mildew from tub and kitchen wastebasket – that might be contributing too – and practice piano – and do some program reading – and SLEEP! and do some report cards? And maybe update my e-mail friends.
23. I am grateful to have good foods in the house today.
24. I am grateful that I have a freezer. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that one before.
25. And that I did my CoDA PM work yesterday.
26. And did my CoDA AM work today.
27. From yesterday’s Voices of Recovery: It says this person has been given many riches and experiences (Sacred Awe, started reading yesterday) including: “the emergence and growth, through studying the OA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, of many wondrous relationships.”
28. And “a loving higher Power. He is always there for me, if I’m willing to ask.”
29. And “the many caring people within program that make it a Fellowship.”
30. And “the budding relationship with the lovely person whom I like: ME!”
31. And “the new, renewed, or increased awareness – the peace – the hope that I see and feel – the recovery that I am offered – the opportunity to try again today – hearing another’s story of strength and hope – all the wonderful gifts I’ve been given.”
32. And “Never, ever am I able to explain any of this, so I am continually filled with Sacred Awe. This is a God-given program, and my Higher Power has chosen me to experience – to live in – Sacred Awe!” Wow. (And may this all come true for me)
33. I am grateful that I just posted an update on my blog.
34. And that I just check in on Ka’s blog.
35. And left her another comment message, the dear heart.
36. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “Giving up control means growing up: my experience broadens, my pleasures expand, my usefulness to others increases and my horizon – like God’s world – is limitless.” For Today p. 234
37. And “today I am open to the possibility that God’s world and His children have no limits.”
38. In today’s Language of Letting Go, about relationships, and I can relate this one to my relationship with my sister:
“Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago? It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. “
39. And “today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.”
40. And yesterday’s! : “Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun.”
41. And “The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don’t have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like.”
42. And “Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidit, martyrdom, and deprivation. One of the ‘normal’ experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun. Another one is being spontaneous. We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun. And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn’t allow ourselves to try something fun, anyway.”
43. And “We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don’t have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Try some new activities. What would we like to do? What might we enjoy doing?” **I am sure I did these yesterday, but it feels like I need them again, and didn’t even recognize them at first, so am doing them now: )
44. I am grateful for Serious Skin Care
45. And that they don’t use animal products
46. And that they don’t test on animals
47. And for my new products that I treated myself with.
48. And my little spa treatment just now.
49. And that I think I will wash out the tub and then take a bath later OR a shower and skin cream and foot cream treatment tonight.
50. That people always think I’m younger, because I have good skin anyway. (Still, liking the new practice of creams because helps me feel feminine and self-cared for).
51. That I am putting together a little care package for M, 4 nice Serious Skin Care products and a lovely candle.
52. That I will decide whether to watch the Sex in the City DVDs lovely S gave me, or to exchange them for something else (and admit it to her). Might just watch. Just for fun: ) Maybe will try one episode online first to see how I feel…
53. My flower tea right now. And that I will brew 2 more pots with same bud throughout this day.
54. Sp reminding me this morning to drink lots of fluids.
55. Fresh blackberries with fresh watermelon this am! Yay. Felt SO good eating the real food.
56. Roseanne on today. I need the relaxation and don’t mind taking it: )
57. That I’ve practiced Chopin today.
58. And that I’ve practiced Bach today. More than once
59. And will continue to too : )
60. The “Beauty Book” really not having any clunkers in it.
61. And that the whole thing *looks * so much prettier than it seemed from tv that it would look.
62. And that the Beauty Booklet is much better than I thought it’d be too. It’s really wonderful! : )
63. That my face and neck feel and look so good right now! : )
64. That Sat. I will get my mother to the bank and shopping,
65. And this time I will have a list of what I’m eating next week all made!
66. And then in afternoon I will get my hair done.
67. At after that I’ll go to the prayer thing.
68. And Sunday I will go to the meeting and nothing else out (well maybe lunch with J and my mother if he can). But then just piano and stuff like that: )
69. And if I get lonely, maybe St will want to have tea, or K or Mar on Sat. evening: )
70. And I *will * get enough sleep EVERY night from now on, INCLUDING if I go on those retreats!
71. That the St. Jude prayer gave me some comfort this morning (even though that’s not the purpose for which I say it).
72. That I managed to call hsn and put off my Reverse Lift autoship for one more month.
73. And ordered one of the eye creams, even though the girl thought I should just get the whole kit.
74. Because I knew that that’s 15 dollars saved and not spent on products I already have building up (and that M. doesn’t use, or I would do it for her: )
75. That I’m feeling on top of the planning of the 3 animal trips next year.
76. That *D * said yesterday she’ll try to find us a rural trip that does NOT involve animals! Just crops! That was so compassionate toward me, of her!
77. My first sponsor, A, and how she tried.
78. My second sponsor, also all those years ago, S, and the wonderful example of serenity that she is.
79. My third sponsor, B, who gave me her all.
80. And most of all, my “real” sponsor, the one I have now, who is perfect for me and I am so thankful!
81. I’m glad I ate the lunch I ate, leftover broccoli with garlic sauce and brown rice.
82. I’m glad I emptied dishwasher
83. And refilled it
84. And ran it
85. And cleaned the counters.
86. And started a list about summer
87. The e-mail from the priest to send my petitions for their special Novena to St. Jude.
88. And that I did it.
89. The gorgeous PowerPoint e-mail about God and nature with the classical music piano and violin background, that Jo just sent me.
90. The Dr. Oz show today, which is also hope-filled.
91. K, on tv, whose lung mass disappeared from this faith healer type of doctor.
92. The good friends I have had all my life.
93. The times j took me to __and I would lie on that platform and breathe.
94. That Michelle, the physical therapist sub who cleaned me emotionally out from inside that day.
95. J trying to find her again for me.
96. That J’s “shadow” on his lung scan turned out to be just that: a shadow.
97. That his thyroid “probably fast-growing cancer” turned out not to be.
98. All the major cuddling Ph and I have done for like almost an hour today, with me massaging her a lot and her loving it.
99. She is shivery and seems cold, so I’m glad she’s taking a lot of time on the bed.
100. And that I covered her.
101. That time my mother covered other dog, M.
102. And how many times she has talked about it.
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