I am grateful:
1. I went to bring down the garbage and the scents outside are so beautiful in this after-rain morning.
2. Even down the steps, not just the petunias.
3. I clipped flowers from the backyard. Roses.
4. And the white ones.
5. Sp “I’ll try to do the best that I can and I’ll wait for God to tell me what’s best.” And that comes from (Bill W.) a man who had to struggle with the concept of God.
6. M agreeing to go to lunch with me today.
7. And we went.
8. And she focused on my current situation virtually exclusively.
9. And I ate broccoli.
10. And a little brown rice.
11. And I had a fabulous idea for how to not hurt D’s feelings, although it didn’t turn out to be an issue anyway : )
12. And the butterfly learning video for the kiddies
13. And the ice pops for them, thank you again, M.
14. I am grateful that my dr. took my call this morning and gave me a few minutes (on speaker while I was driving and crying so much in the car)
15. And that he said what he said.
16. And that I then recorded it onto my digital recorder so that I could remember it (as I kind of can’t now. I mean, I get the gist, but not the *exact * words, which I now how on that recorder).
17. And the 5 mg valium (prescribed) that helped me get through the morning.
18. And the 1 mg xanax (prescribed) that is getting me through now.
19. And healthy dinner I bought yesterday from hfs.
20. And leftovers from lunch today.
21. And I can start exercising now, I think, even with the toe.
22. Water bottles for me
23. And enough in my mini fridge to share with M.
24. Buddies went well today.
25. I am grateful that my little doggie is here now.
26. And J. had her groomed the other day.
27. And she looks and feels wonderful : )
28. And I have her all weekend yay.
29. AND !! that J. kissed me 3 x on the lips!
30. And I didn’t ask or insinuate that he should say.
31. Unfortunatly, I was in a pretty icky nightgown, because I’m so exhausted and was just gonna veg out – but I could *feel * his ambivalence. I’m sure he is not sure he wants to be away from me. He’s growing.
32. And because I didn’t call him so far, AND I seemed ok to him (which I felt, thank you pill and friend and sponsor and doctor and e-mail friend!), I think that made him feel good too.
33. AND – I showed him that I got the flowers from outside.
34. And – he’s going to call Ch (if he remembers lol) – and I didn’t ask! – to get him to get this freakin’ yard done already! ‘Cause Ch *said * by end of week.
35. And although I ate too much, I did not buy the junk I was thinking of getting.
36. AND – I cannot eat as much as I used to. I get fuller faster. Yay.
37. And my new Serious Skin Care stuff came. I’m going to start using it tomorrow.
38. And I was able to tell him about the two billing issues calls he’s gotten here. And he was fine about them and asked me to e-mail him the info by Mon or Tues and I’m fine with that.
39. And Ph will sleep here tonight with me!
40. And we’ve cuddled
41. And played a little
42. And her tail is wagging all over the place!
43. And she’s outside in the yard now.
44. And that was a dead squirrel not a dead rat. I feel bad about the squirrel, of course! But I didn’t want the height of this stuff Ch had to cut to be attracting rats!
45. And it is 5:35 and I might practice a little.
46. And watch a little tv.
47. And take a Fri. night pill.
48. And go to sleepy sleepy sleep and maybe even sleep well.
49. Now J. had some bad news about my mother, but it was important he tell him, so I’m grateful that he did.
50. The news is that when she hears voices, she knows to take a pill from the place he leaves them on top of her fridge, when he does her pills (heart etc.) for her every week. Unfortunately, although months go by and she doesn’t need one, she needed THREE last week! So he asked her why. And she said she was worried about us because he’s never home. So I’m grateful that he did NOT tell her before this or now, about our problems.
51. And I’m grateful that he said we WOULD manage to go to a dinner with her as she’s wanted for a while, together, so she can fell better about us. Thank you, God!
52. And then when I did my early pm call with her, I made sure I was NOT obvious, but that things came up to make her feel better. Like, “Can we go to the bank earlier tomorrow, because then I can see MA and still get to meet J. at his event.” That kind of stuff.
53. And I’m very very grateful that I’ve been sincerely praying for help with this situation, but also for *God’s will * knowledge of it and the power to carry it out. Because I think He is at work here and things are better right now by a good deal than at 3:00 this morning!
54. And I do believe that I will meet my school deadlines this year. I’m not even worried about it.
55. And I will do it without help from J.
56. That the house was in order when J. came. Well, good enough order.
57. And that I was able to accept (although I did apologize for how I looked – twice – oops) that I’m tired and I have a right to sit around (and I told him I’d been up and moving for 4 hours before kids came in!)
58. L saying I’m awesome because I managed to get that kid to her today.
59. And I managed to get her to other L. also
60. And still other L. told M she misses me very much because she never laughed so much.
61. That I gave vibes for M & T and abundance.
62. That these vibes are powerful.
63. My Followers are back showing on my blog. I like that soooo much better than when they don’t show up because of a blogger mistake! Yay, they’re back.
64. And I get some comments and some e-mails based on some stuff on my blog. Yay.
65. I hope and plan to keep improving my blog.
66. I am coming up with some summer ideas.
67. I am doing a different version of the St. Jude prayer, and I think it’s much more appropriate for my situation AND more “friendly” for me to use, so I’m more likely to get all 9 in.
68. And I just finished the 9th for today : ) (First time).
69. That J’s mother still has some lucid moments. Maybe even a lot of them.
70. That maybe my mother will have some relief now.
71. I will start exercising within a week. Not counting walks!
72. Tomorrow and/or Sunday I will drive to park with Ph and walk her around in there! In my thongs (because can’t wear shoes yet, and that’s fine).
73. I can even watch a baseball game if I want: )
74. I’m enjoying Friends repeats
75. And that’s okay.
76. Two more weeks of this school year.
77. And – I’ve done well by them. All year. : )
78. I’m glad I decided *not * to get an ipad.
79. And that I don’t have a Smartphone. Don’t want one. Don’t want to pay for the service. And don’t want to be *that * hooked in/connected.
80. That every kid in my class has improved a good deal in reading and writing and math this year (as well as other things).
81. That we had a nice time with buddies today AND accomplished something.
82. That we have enough to do next week and the week after.
83. That I’m respected by the other professionals in that buildilng.
84. That some of them have been helped by my mindfulness meditation “training” and practices together.
85. And maybe some are or will be incorporating it more into their lives.
86. That I learn from the Dr. Phil show.
87. That I *love * the white pouffy flowers and red roses in the pitcher vase on the coffee table, from our yard! I’m loving them.
88. And that is becoming sort of an organically forming altar.
89. And – that I’m getting strong ideas about moving AWAY at retirement.
90. Which also gives me something to live for!
91. And incentive to save more so I don’t have to work those major overage years, maybe.
92. That I will have a lot more great musical stuff to do with my second graders next year.
93. That I *will * get my pc computer to repairs! So when they take my school laptop: 1. All this private stuff won’t be on it and 2. I will have my other one to use daily : )
94. I get to take a Friday pill tonight and there’s nothing wrong with that.
95. I may have some vegan chicken salad right now and that is protein and helps me feel good.
96. And I think I’ll have one of those awesome pickles with it too.
97. What wealth I have in a million ways!
98. I’m going to put the green rug in the sunroom!
99. And see who can put the baseboards back there. And get some furniture (used with new cushions or cheap but nice or something –great sale or whatver).
100. Hope (repeat so will do extras)
101. Will enjoy 2 ½ Men this very night, I think.
102. Will read some Helen Keller this weekend.
103. Am coming up with some GREAT summer ideas and feeling positive about them and it! Thank you, God!
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