I am grateful:
1. That I didn’t die a horrible choking death this morning when I woke up in that awful gasping way desperately groping for an inhaler.
2. That I didn’t have to go to the hospital.
3. That K. was here last night.
4. That she helped me see step 1 questions more specifically to the program and not so generally.
5. That she shared with me about her life
6. And she loves my house
7. And she said a prayer with me. I love the way she prays.
8. That I felt better when she left, than the desperate way I felt before she came, for days even.
9. That I slept last night.
10. That I thanked God for the day, and did my kneeling prayer and my prostrate prayer and my 2 third step prayers and my CoDA work so far today and will continue doing the other stuff on my list right now.
11. In today’s For Today: When I’m alone, “I don’t try to impress myself or act as if I’m important. I know better. I am closest to being myself when I am with myself. …Overeaters Anonymous encourage me to be myself when I am with other members. As I share at meetings, it gets easier to put aside the silly cloak of pride that doesn’t fool anyone and keeps my feelings locked up inside.”
12. And “For today: Being myself is like abstinence: it feels good.”
13. I want and need this one. In today’s Voices of Recovery: “We give up fear and indecision, knowing that if we are sincere, our Higher Power will give us the knowledge of our best course in life . . .” OA 12 & 12 p. 24
14. And it says: “I realize that my Higher Power is giving me guidelines when . . . I think of a course of action or a solution that is entirely new or different for me. This way I know the idea wasn’t mine.” MAYBE that’s true of the dr’s current idea.
15. “I see other people struggling with similar problems, and I recognize how the OA solutions have worked for them. This is God’s way of showing me, by example, what works.”
16. “I realize that an unplanned event or person has literally popped up in my life. Then I know it’s a ‘God thing.’”
17. This is important. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I see situations and people as they truly are. I see my present clearly, instead of allowing the clouds of the past to obscure it. I no longer project my past or parents onto situations or people. I react to the situation to the degree that it warrants.”
18. And this, which I wish I’d known earlier but am grateful to see now rather than never: “Because I have compassion for myself, I now have greater compassion for others. I see the hurt child behind my own unhealthy behaviors, as well as the hurtful behaviors of others. Hurt people hurt people.”
19. Today’s Language of Letting Go: If we feel it, it’s ours for the moment. Own it. If it’s good, enjoy it. Today, God, help me be open to the joy and good feelings available to me.”
20. Birdie’s beautiful comments on my yesterday blog. They warm my heart. God bless her.
21. Sp this morning: “You have to see the positives in yourself. And then you don’t need anybody else.”
22. And “Fear is a fog it’s the mist it’s the morning mist that you have to walk through and then the sun comes through.”
23. I’m grateful that D and M and I got along so well today.
24. And that little R brought his little canister of money, wanting to pay for his missing books! I love that child.
25. I’m thankful that I *think * I convinced him it’s ok – he’s a billion times more important than the books!
26. I’m thankful that I had the other two people to sit with while doing ordering.
27. And that I was able to take off a ton of stuff and can be within (lowered) budget.
28. And that I’m almost finished.
29. And that my letters going home will be professional.
30. And – sweet.
31. And that Tr did an amazing amount today.
32. And that I returned my earrings so I could pay the difference for the more-expensive (but she didn’t know it) ones MA picked when she returned her other ones.
33. And that M. loves me. And is in my life.
34. And that I had veggies at dinner.
35. And protein at lunch (and dinner)
36. And whole grains.
37. And juice.
38. And that I am feeling a lot more relieved than that torturous way I was feeling this am.
39. And that I might see JA soon!
40. That people came on my meditation thread today: )
41. Next day: That the 3 of us (team) laughed so much yesterday. Finally.
42. That M. called last night.
43. That I had a couple of nice dreams. Unfortunatly they’re not true, but they felt nice.
44. That I’m doing this daily work.
45. That I took out the recycling.
46. That I printed out the summer stuff, and can finish that today.
47. That I did my CoDA work this morning.
48. That I hear the glorious birds.
49. That I have piano for the summer.
50. That IF I CHOOSE TO, I can tutor a kid (start with one).
51. My dr. comes today.
52. Today’s For Today: “Unhappy I the man, though he rule the world, who doesn’t consider himself supremely blest.” Seneca
53. And it says: “The habit of complaining, of wishing thigns were different, is nothing more than a way in insuring depression and misery.”
54. And “As I expose this and other destructive habits to the twelve-step program, asking God to remove them, I can allow myself to be happy.”
55. And “For today: To accept myself is to enjoy my life, and to feel supremely blessed.”
56. I’m grateful that I just stopped what I was doing and put together a really nice gift for JG who helped me so much during my after-school meltdown that day. And a lovely card. I’m glad I did that. I feel, like gleeful about it. I think the two gifts will bring her pleasure.
57. And that M. is going to help me find the pens today.
58. And T. said she can too.
59. It’s the injury at school that caused the need for them, and I don’t want to keep paying like 50 dollars a year for them, so I’m glad the school should pay.
60. I’m grateful that doing this stuff in the morning should help in the long-run.
61. But also that it brings me some relief right in the morning.
62. In today’s Voices of Recovery: “With OA, we commence a new life. This goes beyond the food and carries into all aspects of our lives, permeating our very beings.”
63. And “I work the Twelve Steps daily in a never-ending cycle. By doing this, I’m off the merry-go-round of dieting and into sanity and happiness.”
64. And “I’m thankful to OA for the endless beginning of my life.”
65. That it says in today’s In This Moment, “In my CoDA group, I find people who understand me in a way few others can. I trust them with information about me that I cannot easily share with others. I trust that my CoDA friends won’t judge me, criticize me, tell me not to feel that way, or try ot fix me.”
66. And that I feel that way about K.
67. That I finished my rep. card revisions in time for the deadline.
68. That T. is making me the envelopes today.
69. That they just took my recycling. That tickles me still.
70. In today’s Daily OM: “Because we instinctively know that nature is good for us on many levels, it’s not unusual to feel powerfully drawn to it.”
71. And this: In this modern age, we spend so much time indoors, focused on the busyness of our lives and disconnected from the earth. But much of what we truly need can only be found under the naked sky, alongside tall trees, on open plains, or in the sound of running water.
72. And “Spending time in nature allows us to commune with other living beings and to find comfort in the nurturing embrace of Mother Earth.”
73. And “You can’t help but experience a different sense of self while walking in a wood or traversing a mountainside. Being in nature connects us to the earth, grounding us as we walk, unhindered by concrete, upon her. Surrounded by other living beings, both bigger and smaller than we are, we remember that human beings are simply one form of life in this vast universe.”
74. “When you step out of your door each morning, pause for a minute and close your eyes long enough to let your senses absorb your surroundings. Listen and breathe deeply, until you hear the wind rustling through branches, smell rain on damp grass, and see the reflection of leaves brushing up against windowpanes. If you have time, crouch down and closely examine any nearby grass and soil. The sights, sounds, smells, and sensations we experience that are part of nature can remind us of all the gifts Mother Earth grants us each day.”
75. And “Spending time connecting with nature nourishes the soul, reminds you that you are never truly alone, and renews you by attuning you to the earth’s natural rhythms. Taking a walk under the stars or feeling the wind on your face may be all it takes for you to reconnect with nature. Remember, you are as much a part of nature as are the leaves on a tree or water bubbling in a brook.”
76. In another e-mail things: “Any endeavor where the benefit of all participants is taken into consideration tends to reap many blessings and rewards.”
77. And another Daily OM: “We foster mutually receptive communication when we are willing to listen to people抯 thoughts and beliefs.”
78. I’m grateful that I have no radiation
79. Or dialysis
80. Or chemo to go to
81. That I will see some cheerful faces at work
82. And that I got a great hug from a special student yesterday
83. And that I have a laptop. I always loved typing and to express myself this way so easily without having to sit at a desk or press those hard keys I learned on is good.
84. That I got to eat lunch with MA yesterday
85. That I’m calling my Sponsor right now.
86. That my nails grow better now
87. And my hair too (it might be the vegan eating – especially lots of veggies)
88. Sp said “The whole point is you’re not lonely because you’re with yourself.”
89. And Sp also said, “I’m with me – a magnificent person.”
90. I’m grateful that I returned my earrings to pay for the difference in MA’s so she could have a gift she likes.
91. I’m grateful that I won’t be all alone this afternoon.
92. And that the kids were *such * a help with the books yesterday!
93. And that as usual, every one of them loves reading now. I’m grateful that I make lovers of reading out of kids. Every year.
94. And that I don’t live in a desolate place. I like hearing sounds from outside. It helps me feel less alone.
95. And for movies that don’t upset me.
96. And that K said I have to get over my fear of reading the program books.
97. And that until I do, if I need to, I can invite someone here or go to someone else’s house and do the reading.
98. Or to the park.
99. Or the library.
100. Or even the beach.
101. Hope
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