I am grateful:
1. That today starts my new path toward change.
2. In today’s For Today: “The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, then becomes a host, and then a master.” Kahlil Gibran
3. And, “Comfort was m middle name, until its obsessive pursuit turned it against me. Face to face with my distorted ideas, I decided to give up the immediate comfort of overeating for the long range comfort of feeling good about myself.”
4. And I think I have to do the same thing regarding J.
5. And “I do not have to be a slave to anything: it is possible to find my security and comfort within.”
6. And “Aware of the temptation to escape into the illusive comfort of my old habits, I use everything this program gives me to stay in reality.”
7. And this one: “The rewards of allowing myself to feel all my feelings, the uncomfortable as well as the comfortable, far surpass what I once thought of as comfort.” That one’s hard to believe on some level but I do believe it and needed to hear it today (and always).
8. And this: “For today: The brief moments of comfort I got from eating unnecessary food made my life miserable. OA shows me a way to be comfortable within myself.”
9. This is important. I just now saw this in today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I’m not alone. I have friends I can rely on who help me in my recovery. I go to CoDA meetings to overcome the ‘codependent crazies.’ I receive the strength to cope with my problems. I am of service in my meeting. I have found purpose in my life. I overcame fear when I realized I was not alone!
10. I will be calling H. *today * about guesting at her gym as soon as possible.
11. In today’s Voices of Recovery: “Abstinence is a new life, not in theory but in practice. It means following suggestions, listening to someone who knows more than I do about living abstinently.” For Today p. 203
12. And “The old me always knew the answers, always had the good ideas, never listened or followed anyone’s suggestions. “
13. “It was self-will running riot.”
14. “Now, when I read something in OA literature, hear something at a meeting, or my sponsor shares something with me, I take it to heart and search for a place to fit it into my life. I reflect on how I can make it work for me, how I can adapt it.”
15. That I am feeling those feelings of can’t-stand-the-alone-with-myself-times. Every second. That’s probably why the meditation is so difficult and I never even got to it yesterday or the day before. What I’m grateful for in it is that tit is so reminiscent of the times in high school, on pot, when I could not stand when the 8-track switched songs because there were moments of silence. How I hated and was terrified of those moments. So this tells me what I still have to work on. Better to know than not to know.
16. And it also says in toay’s Voices of Recovery: “With this disease of compulsive overeating, I cannot afford to be selective. “
17. “Whatever is presented to me is presented for a reason, and my job is to absorb it.”
18. And “My OA recovery cannot be stagnant nor can my progress be put on hold.”
19. “I cannot control this progressive disease of compulsive eating.”
20. And it says this: “Keeping myself open to other overeaters’ perspectives and to God’s will keeps me alive. Thank you, God, for the insight and experiences shared by others. “
21. And “The circle of life for me is Step work and abstinence from compulsive overeating. I apply what I hear to my daily routine, thus becoming and staying spiritually sound, emotionally secure, and physically fit.”
22. That I’ve finally started to hear the parts about physically fit.
23. Worry about not being able to sign into blog. But *finally * found some info, and they said this has been a problem since yesterday for some users and they are looking into how to solve it. Thank God.
24. Sp how doing with step six.
25. “Replace them with something better. And it happens without my knowing it.”
26. It doesn’t disappear because I work very hard. It just goes away. The hidden, or half promises bottom p. 84 (or 85). It happens automatically. Not like a lightning bolt. You work to make it go away, but you don’t have the power. And willingness.
27. God takes it away. It just happens. And it happens automatically.
28. And I was the last person to realize that defect is gone (not all but I’m still working).
29. You can ask, How come you did that? I don’t know. I tried ot will it away but I don’t have the power. But I woke up one day and said hey, I haven’t done that in a month.
30. But at that realization, there was always a thank you, God.
31. Because I’m old enough to know, I tried. I tried to hold my tongue. I got a thought, it came out of my mouth. With a double edged thought. I still get the thought the thoughts don’t change. But God put like a brace in my mouth and it doesn’t come out. I think it, but I don’t say it and when I don’t say it and I say thank you. It lessens ME to say it. Makes Me feel bad about self. Reinforces that I’m a turd. Why would I pick on somebody that is….blah blah blah whatever. I’m better than that.
32. I still think sometimes it’s brilliantly funny, and I laugh INSIDE not out loud and I say thank you God because I don’t embarrass that person and more importantly I don’t feel bad about self; I don’t embarrass self.
33. I don’t have the self-control. But God stopped me from saying it.
34. I don’t know how it happened and I don’t care to know how. That’s not important. I’m just grateful.
35. But somehow even with all the work, and really it’s embarrassing, I never felt good. And even though I thought these comments were funny, most people were embarrassed by my behavior. And it lessened me. And I never realized it. It was not a good way to behave. And it went away and I don’t do it enough. I’m ont perfect.
36. So L, trust in God but buy broccoli.
37. That the lunch with the 3 parents went well.
38. That my session with principal got put off temporarily.
39. That I slept last night anyway.
40. That I have lunch with my mother today.
41. And with MA, ML, and MA’s niece Mon or something
42. And a packet with food plans
43. As well as 21 day vegan thing on VT online.
44. That maybe they’ll fix blogger today.
45. That I did pray on knees as soon as got up.
46. Those goslings bring me pleasure every time I see them. They are bigger now, and fluffy, and pecking away.
47. 3 (or is it 4?) caterpillars came
48. D. put the food in the cup with them.
49. The kids were so excited.
50. I let them each have turn with magnifying glass, looking at them.
51. I think I’m grateful that M. says she considers me like her closeness to her mother and I forget who but that close.
52. That she has a new nanny started so soon and she’s so happy about it
53. And it should save her like 120 a week from the cleaning lady because she cleans
54. That Dr. Oz was on yesterday when Oprah normally would have been.
55. That I am changing/revamping my whole life.
56. That J. still had interest in like a fashion show when I shopped just this past September.
57. I might just win him back.
58. That I do *not * like the feeling waking up after eating late
59. Or lying down right after eating
60. Or eating too much
61. That I loved that salad yesterday
62. That I *did * run the dishwasher this morning.
63. And *will * take the garbage out.
64. And I believe they *will * take it.
65. That I did meditate a little yesterday
66. That I’m feeling a little less panicky than when I first woke up
67. Maybe I’ll start reading to the kids first thing now, like at morning meeting, dividing so I know the number of pages *must * get to each day. And we will finish the book.
68. That they’re liking it, at least most of them or colose to all.
69. That there’s still hope for my health
70. That there’s still hope for my happiness
71. That there’s still hope for my money. God help me.
72. The other OA CD I was listening to in the car yesterday.
73. And that I can listen to it today again.
74. That I did receive one reply from blogger support people. Although not helpful, it was there. And I wrote back again.
75. That I just wrote to K about a possible talk-about-program get together or small mini-meeting.
76. That I can hear the birds, thank God.
77. And it makes me more deeply thankful for my hearing.
78. As does our and my recent reading about Helen Keller, make me more deeply grateful for the combination of my hearing and seeing.
79. “If you can recognize the need for improvement, things are already improving.” (author unknown from site Inspiration peak)
80. And this, same site, Friday’s Message from the Universe: What wouldn’t you give…to live, love, and be happy…DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY…forever more? Well, that’s just it…you needn’t give anything…JUST DECIDE…to live, love, and be happy…DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY…from this moment forward. The Universe
And: Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best,and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!
Christian D. Larson
81. And: “This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good.” Author Unknown
82. And “And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” Kahlil Gibran
83. And “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi
84. And: “There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day.” Alexander Woollcott
85. And this one: “People travel to wonder at the eight of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.” St. Augustine, 354 430
86. And “The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts: and the great art of life is to have as many of them as possible.” Montaigne
87. And “sometimes your joy is the source of yor smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy> Thich Nhat Hanh
88. Comfortable shoes
89. “A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, ‘Are you using all your strength?’ ‘Yes, I am,’ the little boy said impatiently. ‘No, you are not,’ the father answered. ‘I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.’” Author unknown
90. And “Your imagination is your preview to life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
91. “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
92. I am grateful that I found this site.
93. That after 9/11, J told me *I * was a real hero, for going in every day and doing the job and being there for them and facing it.
94. “…go sleep in peace. God is awake.” Victor Hugo
95. “…Right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness.”
96. “Give yourself a perfect day. Do what makes you happiest. Look upon what gives you joy. Speak to those who warm your heart. Listen to that which lifts your spirit. Surround yourself with sights and sounds and people who give you pleasure. For all the happiness you give to others all year long, give yourself a perfect day.” Author unknown
97. “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” Guillaume Apollinaire
98. And this, which I was just thinking of (!) from that card my parents gave me as a teen, and here it is in the quote pages: “happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Nathaniel Hawthorne
99. “Thousand of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha
100. “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear ad you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.” Lao Tzu
101. That I did get the garbage out. And in time.
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