Journal Entry Today

I e-mailed this to a friend this morning, and want to record it here, because I think it is important:

Another friend, who follows my blog, wrote to me, and I quote:
"Find your joy and peace outside of and independent of any other people. Once you do that, you may find that your needs and desires are different than you thought."
I think this is right on the mark, and am working on it.

I start each morning with over 2 hours of "work," but I enjoy and look forward to it!
Here's what I do:

· Pray on knees

· 2 3rd step prayers

· 10 minutes meditation

· 100 gratitudes (I do some, then throughout the day or in evening get to the full hundred)

· readings (oa For Today, coda In This Moment, and oa Voices of Recovery daily readings)

· prayer to God and to the Blessed Virgin

· pray for the people on my prayer list

· at least 10 minutes a day on oa step work (it was at least 20 when I was doing step four)

· Affirmations on blog

· 15 minutes call with Sponsor

about to add:

· 10 minute walk?

· Read “Just for Today” little card?


And sometimes:

· ***During vacation, say Rosary?

· 7th step prayer?

· 11th step prayer?


This has been a very very helpful practice for me.

Just doing step four has already started to lessen a huge resentment of mine. Long story, doesn't matter, but *decades * of anger/resentment etc. over my sister. And suddenly I've started to see her, not as a horrible bitch, but as a scared little child too, who's doing her best too. Amazing.

I start step 5 with my sponsor this Tuesday:)

Now I have finally de-cluttered and cleaned my house,

gotten laundry done weekly,

gotten the garbage out,

gotten the paper recycling out.

These were big hurdles for me since my dear husband left 3 1/2 months ago.

But I've done them.

And they feel good.

Now I'm starting to appreciate my female friends even more. Always did, in the deep and serious ways, but in fun ways too. And starting to have some fun.

I would very much appreciate if you could find a minute to pray for my marriage. I believe there is hope, and do so want it.

But I am concentrating as growing as a person, myself.