I am grateful:
1. The kitchen floor, and (these are not a joke or a cheap way out; I am really trying to live more and more in a state of gratitude)
2. Ceiling
3. And back door
4. And screen door
5. And hole in the screen, yes, for Ph.
6. And the shelves J. built
7. And the rice cooker
8. And the crockpot (I should use these things more)
9. And the basment door
10. An the battenburg
11. And the windows
12. And having a window by the sink
13. And the sink
14. And the stool
15. And the wastebin
16. And the windowsills
17. And the color on the walls
18. And the cans of beans
19. And the whole grains like barley
20. And quinoa
21. And the tomato sauce
22. And the spices like the canammom
23. And cayenne
24. And oregano
25. And garlic
26. And hot pepper
27. And black pepper fresh to grind
28. And parsley
29. And curry powder
30. And vanilla
31. And sage
32. And rosemary
33. And thyme
34. And paprika
35. And nutmeg
36. And dill
37. And dried basil
38. And whole-grain pasta
39. And hot cereals like instant oatmeal
40. And Cream of Wheat
41. And plain oatmeal, oats in the canister
42. And dried apricots
43. And cherry infused dried cranberry
44. And vegan broth
45. And even vegan gravy
46. And those shelves
47. And the shef liners
48. And the thingies that keep the cabinet doors from banging
49. And the hinges
50. And canned tomatoes
51. And diced tomatoes
52. And stores so nearby to replenish
53. And popcorn
54. Especially in the smaller bags
55. Especially vegan, of course
56. And especially 94 % (fat-free or something) kind
57. And plain popcorn kernels, which I should buy and pop in the brown paper bag
58. And the potato chip making thing for the microwave, to use fresh potatoes or fresh sweet potatoes
59. And the reusable containers for bringing lunch to school
60. And the drawer dividers
61. And the microwave dishes with lids
62. And the colander
63. And the plastic pitcher
64. And the Corningware
65. And the turntable thing for the containers of different sizes that all use the same lids
66. And the measuring spoons
67. And the potato peeler
68. And the pizza cutter
69. And the can opener
70. And the fruit scrub brush
71. And the sponges
72. And the fresh fruit
73. And the tomatoes
74. And the fresh veggies
75. And the frozen veggies
76. And the canned fruit
77. And the soy milk
78. And the almond milk
79. And even the flavors of them
80. And that I can buy them with less or no sugar now
81. And the mustards – more than one!
82. And the ketchup, and not wanting to overuse it anymore
83. And the relish, which I barely even use
84. And the vegan parmesan cheese
85. And the eyedrops in the fridge
86. And the red wine vinegar
87. And the balsamic vinegar
88. And the soy sauce
89. And the vegan broth in the fridge
90. And the lite firm tofu
91. And the Earth Balance
92. And the onions so many onions
93. And the carrots
94. And the celery
95. And I know I’ve said this one before, but I think of it so often, and I’ll add extra: the water. Access to fresh, clean water. At the touch of a faucet
96. And the water in the fridge
97. And the orange juice
98. And being able – the ability – to cook things and put them in there, like the soup that’s there now and the vegan pesto, and the braised cabbage dish in the freezer. That ability.
99. And the trays
100. And the serving platters
101. And the napkins
102. Wow. Yesterday so many, and today all these, and I’m still in the kitchen! Such wealth!
103. I know I’m going over, and that’s fine! In today’s For Today: Everything intercepts us from ourselves. Ralph Waldo Emerson
104. And, “Like many other important projects, getting to know myself is done a little at a time. I can set aside a few minutes a day, if that’s all I have, to take another step in self-awareness.”
105. That maybe God didn’t heal our marriage YET, when *I * wanted Him to, because I was looking for my marriage to heal me.
106. And back to For Today, it says the twelve steps are a marvelous course in the subject of myself. I thank you, God, for the twelve steps.
107. And: “For today: Allotting time to the subject of myself gives me a clearer understanding of God’s will for me.”
108. And I am very grateful that I have this time to put literally 2 hours a day every day (and sometimes more but never less) into this healing. Even IF I was right about my *damage * being a bit extreme, well, I’m granted an extreme amount of time to help it! Some people couldn’t find that. I don’t think M could; she would have to get so little sleep. And so I am fortunate in this way. I may need more than some – may – but I have more time than some too. And I’ve already felt a moment and an hour of inner peace. I do believe that is what they call serenity.
109. God’s will for me is still a hard one for me. BUT – 1) I’ve already had that moment and that hour of inner peace 2) that thought that came to me number 105 above, that gift could not have happened if I hadn’t been doing this work. And I have never done this and didn’t last time and probably never would have if my attention hadn’t been gotten in a really big way!
110. I’m grateful that I have a sense of relief about that share today.
111. Today’s In This Moment? “today, I know I matter. I’m not perfect, but I don’t’ have to rely on another’s approval in order to have a good self-image.”
112. And, “I can’t change anyone else, but I can change myself and the way I treat me.”
113. And, “When I did something weird, my frist reaction was to call myself, ‘Stupid!’ I am changing that. Today, I hit my head in the shower. My reaction was different. I said, ‘Oh, are you OK?’”
114. That I just took the garbage out.
115. And that I *like * to.
116. And that another benefit is that I get outside for a moment early, which brightens my mood. Yes, even in the rain like today. Nice.
117. Plus an extra trip up and down the stairs doesn’t hurt.
118. “Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover.” OA 12 & 12 p. 27. Wow! Such hope!
119. And I do already feel that way about Step Five. And it also says there: “I didn’t realize that… … Step Five represented my Higher Power’s permission to let go in private confidence to a friend.”
120. “I can’t. God can. Let God.”
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