I am grateful:
1. That I did say yes to R about lunch
2. That L helped me yesterday with the stuff to write about F
3. That I dreamt about embroidery
4. And sharing
5. That I did take my mother to tea. Yay.
6. And we had fine conversation. Nothing I was afraid of came up.
7. And I think she’s glad we went.
8. In today’s For Today it says: “Is there anything that can fill my emptiness and satisfy the hunger no food can allay? Yes; it is the spiritual sustenance that can be found in surrender.”
9. And, “I give everything to God and accept in its place the peace ‘which passeth all understanding.’”
10. And it says, “God gives me all I need, though I myself may not know what I need.”
11. And maybe I will get to fully, or more fully, understand and internalize those someday.
12. In today’s In This Moment it says: “Having a place to go where they welcome me, let me talk, and hug me, is a blessing. I’d be crazy to quit.”
13. That CoDA promises: I know a new sense of belonging. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
14. I am no longer controlled b my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity, and dignity.
15. I know a new freedom.
16. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
17. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving, and loved.
18. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
19. I m capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
20. I learn that it is possible for me to mend – to become more loving, intimate, and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
21. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
22. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
23. I trust the guidance I receive from my Higher Power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
24. I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
25. I am grateful that I finished and e-mailed the F. teacher report document.
26. And that I went to CoDA last night.
27. And that although I think changes definitely need to be made in the format of that new meeting(!), I felt positive in there.
28. I am glad there were 5 of us.
29. And that maybe I’ll talk to K. over tea or something about those changes.
30. That I have now listed 94 assets
31. I have just taken my garbage out. And it felt great.
32. And oh the weather! Beautiful!
33. And I remembered (2nd time now) to water the petunias.
34. Sp said: “The john stuff is not as important as the growth and changes you are making.”
35. And, “What you need in your life is not J. What you need in your life is God.”
36. This has made (helped) me to feel very strong.
37. And MUCH better than this morning earlier.
38. PS I think 1 ½ cups coffee for now. Or just make it weaker (which is cheaper too!)
39. And before that, when talking about my coffee stuff, Sp said, ‘That’s what life is. Adjustments. For serenity.
40. That I ran into A at DD and we had a laugh this morning.
41. And with the guy in front of us
42. And the guy behind us
43. And I did manage to have my breakfast
44. And make my bed
45. And make sure the kitchen was clean
46. And wipe down the bathroom sink
47. And shower
48. And wash my hair
49. And that R invited me to share his One More Story story with him on the computer this morning
50. That I’m making a “good” ! list of names during Sp test right now
51. That I’m sipping tea
52. That I brought the colorforms for them today
53. And will open right in front of them, so they’ll have that “new materials” feeling!
54. And – I kept some at home for me. Two sets I bought for me (which I’ll “probably” eventually bring in for them anyway) and one set I bought for them, but will use first
55. That Sp said this morning, I do *not * have to pick up and drive and return-drive a person to/from meeting if not good – his word: enjoyable – for me! So, I do not feel guilty about taking my *five minutes each way x 2 * ride to my CoDA meeting, instead of it becoming a 25 minute x 4! drive. 10 minutes vs like 80 (more even for getting in car, waiting, talking…bathroom… of other person.
56. And I feel fine about it now, and *especially * because she says she doesn’t even think that program’s for her anyway!
57. My ride in the morning, to work: the houses. Some modest, some “Americana,” some magnificent (and partially depending on the route I take). But all suburbia and all so nice.
58. And safe too.
59. It is spirit day, and we are happy.
60. And they – or we – shall dance!
61. Today I get to go to Sp’s to finish my (this round) of step 5!
62. And maybe then come home to colorforms and then sleep
63. And D sent in lilacs to me
64. And I can smell that beautiful fragrance from all over
65. And when I first come back into the room, like from outside, it smells like paradise. Yay.
66. And I put them where TR could enjoy the aroma too.
67. A. making me the Flat Me so I’d have the right colors for spirit day
68. And An making me the big thing to wear on my back. They’re so sweet. (And artistically talented)
69. The amazing weather at recess. And that I was outside with the lovely weather and getting vitamin d on me (no sunscreen but not like burning skin sun)
70. I will get to go to my favorite hfs or across the street to get lunch today.
71. And maybe have broccoli and then pasta with sauce for dinner. Yeah. (So I think I’ll just go across the street at lunchtime).
72. That my dr and my Sp are on much (or all) of the same page now
73. T. “doesn’t ever eat processed foods) and I think that’s true, and I’m happy for her for it.
74. And that I’m so excited about going to Sp’s later, and may this be a good example/lesson/reminder to me that I need to do things that excite me and that are good for me and that I’ll *enjoy *!
75. We just did 2nd gr. Idol
76. Most or all fo them loved it
77. And it was so sweet, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. So sweet. Reading in Dutch, and This Land Is Your Land, and 2 Michael Jackson’s (but appropriate) and original poems and and and and : )
78. Pep Rally was nice (except I think a few – very few – kids in the school, were overwhelmed .. But fun
79. And we were allowed to go overtime too!
80. And now they’re having dr do and ren and they’re so happy
81. And I’m tired so it’s good for me too : )
82. And I pet and hugged a shih tzu at end of pep rally. And she smelled so good, real shih tzu.
83. Maybe I’ll get Ph this weekend?
84. And I’m sipping cold water
85. And F seems so happy right now
86. And that story about “Fred” just cracks me up
87. And in a few minutes they’ll clean and go and I’ll have a prep
88. And the adorable kids are bringing me vegan “foods” (math manipulatives) while I sit here and type during their dr do and right now
89. And N cannot right now eat eggs or chicken (while her class is hatching eggs). That’s a degree of mindfulness, and I’m happy about it.
90. I danced a little outside.
91. And with children.
92. And we were happy.
93. I also was aware fo getting vitamin d at recess time today
94. And we didn’t do all the academics I woulh have liked to today, but all are happy and learning and all is well.
95. Q had a really tough time but I handles it great with him and his mom
96. And his mom thought so too.
97. And he’s back: )
98. Maybe I’ll feel even better after I finish my step 5 tonight
99. I was only out for an hour and 5 minutes last night for my meeting
100. And although I just heard that my personal city income tax is being increased A LOT, two e-mails later it said that another soldier of ours has died in Afghanistan. A little perspective there.
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