I am grateful for:
1. My tech session yesterday, and learning about some of those basic Word things, like how to make folders and how to stop the 3-column thing, and even to talk a moment about that “insert” thing.
2. Back to the kitchen. I’m grateful for the big scissors and the rubber bands and the twist-ties. Every one of these is a luxury.
3. And the special cabinet that the coffee maker sits on.
4. And the ceiling and baseboards and windowsills.
5. And the radiator and heat in there.
6. And the door to the basement so I can get down there and do laundry.
7. And all the cleaning stuff like dishwashing liquid
8. And Clorox type thing for the sink
9. And dishwasher powder
10. And rug and upholstery cleaner
11. And the little original cabinet over the sink
12. And the dusting things
13. And the bins under the sink
14. And the wrack for the aluminum foil
15. And the aluminum foil
16. And that it gets recycles
17. And the holder for the paper towels
18. And the little space under the radiator for shoes
19. And the hooks for coats
20. And the cotton for eyeglasses. So many luxuries in that one tiny room.
21. And the antique cups and saucers from my mother
22. And the dog treat canister J bought
23. And the electricity in that room
24. And the under counter lights for the pretty things like the cups and saucers
25. And our whistling tea kettle that I didn’t want but J. was right and it is important to have the whistle.
26. And I’m grateful that the share went well yesterday.
27. And that yesterday morning one parent wrote thank you.
28. And many seemed quite happy with it.
29. And the kids were.
30. And the principal was.
31. And the puzzle-making later.
32. And that most or all had fun
33. And F. felt great when got some
34. And that I participated too.
35. And those years ago when student S got 105 stitches and couldn’t take recess for a long time, I would sit with her (her choice to have another kid or not) and we would do puzzles.
36. That child (above) whom the teacher in the grade before had literally called Satan. And whom I had trouble with in kindergarten as buddies. But I think it all turned out to be esl! And I came to love her. And to enjoy puzzles (again) too.
37. And that I’m reading them the Secret Garden. It is an experiment because it is far too hard for their grade. But all year I’ve been reading things they could read too, as our prof. dev. likes. But traditionally adults have read to children material that they could not read themselves (I mean for hundreds of years) and teachers including me did too, and there is definitely also great benefit in that. 1) it stretches the language 2) they can get a more sophisticated story (without a movie) 3) they can use their imagination even more 4) they stretch their brains 5) the highest end kids get something they can use more. So we’ll see what happens, but I’m very happy to be doing it.
38. I think I will have some ideas for how to be more organized next year in a very second grade friendly way.
39. I get now that they are little puppies who need things broken down in chunks but need to *feel * that they are exceptional (which of course each is) and that they are doing something “grown-up”…
40. If the behind-the-scenes stuff is organized and set up, they really get into it and behave, as I saw yesterday in the computer lab during my tech session while the kindergarten (!) was in there.
41. I am grateful for Rh and her brother creating onemorestory
42. In today’s For Today: “Don’t let life discourage you. Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” Richard L. Evans
43. And yes, that I just shared that in an e-mail with J.
44. And it says that “As newcomers…Those miraculous recoveries seem unattainable for us…” And to seek out speakers and talk to them after the meeting. “A minute or two of one-to-one conversation will reveal what a formal talk from the podium may fail to get across: members with years of program and lives that are happy, joyous and free are compulsive overeaters who, like the rest of us, began at the bottom.”
45. And this huge thought: “For today: Where I am oday is a fine place to start.”
46. Oh boy. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I need to take my inventory. I have been in CoDA for a lot of years and still experience the desire to control. I know I’m powerless over others. I know there’s only one person I can control and that person is me. And to be honest, my power to control myself is limited. I need to turn over a lot of “stuff” to my Higher Power. Why do I complain and nitpick, even though I know I’m powerless? When I’m angry, when I’m critical of others, it’s a signal for me to look at what I’m avoiding. I may need to set or reset a boundary. I need to look within. It’s time to pray for knowledge of God’s will for me. Time to go to a meeting. Time to take personal inventory and admit my wrongs. Trying to control others doesn’t succeed. My CoDA program works when I work it, and I work it ‘cause I’m worth it.”
47. That I no longer have to play that game of, “If you shower you can have breakfast.” Followed by, “If you get dressed for work you can go to your ar and listen to you cd.” As I’m writing this, I think it’s a repeat, so I’ll add extras.
48. Because while I’m at it, I’m grateful for hope for my relationship with J.
49. And that I just, in the pouring rain, took out the plastics recycling. Plus when I got home yesterday, the garbage had been taken. This is still a little thrill to me : )
50. In today’s Voices of Recovery: “Believe that you can be abstinent. You will be. Believe that you can have sanity, peace of mind, and freedom to live the life you want. You will have them. Believe that you will recover. You will.” For Today p. 354. As I’m typing this, I find that I keep saying, “Wow.”
51. And: “Believing in something that seems impossible require a leap of faith. The gift of abstinence, freedom from compulsive overeating, the peace and sanity which result from working the program seem like elusive dreams to the newcomer or the relapser. Faith requires that I keep doing what works, no matter what.”
52. And: “Sometimes it takes days, weeks, months, or even years before I can see and feel like I have gotten ‘it.’ And when I do ‘get it,’ I don’t get to keep it because the ‘it’ keeps changing. The hope and belief that things will get better is not a tangible commodity that I buy; it is something I must earn. I believe it is possible for everyone to be abstinent, to recover, and to have all our dreams come true. We get what we expect, so ‘expect a miracle.’ We are all miracles.” (Ch – except the “Rarely do we…incapable of honesty.” But that wouldn’t be me : )
53. That I gave my mother the classroom number, and she wrote it down and called back because the pen didn’t go through enough, and I gave it to her again. And she did use it yesterday. And that’s good for her.
54. That Sp says I need to sponsor now. To show someone how I got from where I was to where I am now. To get from step 1 to step 2 (or as I think of it, from point a to point b). I’m afraid of this. But then, I was afraid of the treasurer commitment too. And I’m managing that.
55. That I was just looking at my morning list to see what to do next and thought (and even said softly out loud), “All right let me see now. What do I do now? Meditation? Oh prayers. I’ll do prayers next. I like them.” That was nice: )
56. Back in the kitchen, I’m also grateful for all the plastic bags from the stores. And the twist ties
57. And Ezekial bread is a real luxury.
58. And my glass shelves inside the fridge. I really like them so much.
59. And into the d.r. The beautiful recently redone floor.
60. The gorgeous red-family walls
61. The Queen Anne cherry stained table
62. And chairs
63. And white on white cushions
64. And breahfront base
65. And breakfront top with the glass in front *and * on the sides
66. And the glass shelves
67. And the Royal Doulton ladies in there
68. And the antique candlesticks, especially that they’re from my mother and how they look like columns next to the Doulton ladies
69. And the antique cups an dsaucers
70. And the vases
71. And the bowls
72. And the hope chest
73. And its beautiful story of how my grandmother gave it to my mother
74. And how my grandfather, though he wasn’t speaking to her, would add to it but tell my grandmother to say it was all from her
75. And my Baptism gown in there
76. And its little hat
77. And the hobby cabinet
78. And the T. picture
79. And the Van Gogh copy
80. And the gorgeous drapes
81. And the white and gold china
82. And the Lennox salt and pepper shaker
83. And the napkin rings, both types
84. And the servings plates
85. And that I’m enjoing Oprah lately
86. And today’s show with Ralph Lauren, which I didn’t *think 8 I’d love but I’m enjoying it
87. And not that it has happened, but that I know of the maria Shriver story. Maybe it too, will give me strength.
88. And that I *can * go to a meeting tonight if I want (umbrella at work, and it’s been pouring but maybe)
89. And that J going to that party for the baby without me tonight is not the end of the world. 1) I offered to make this sacrifice for him 2) he wants a business connection with E out of it, or at lease the possibility of it 3) it is not the long-run; it is one night 4) I’m not ready to tell people, so this works better for me anyway
90. That I taught hard today. Despite anything I might have been feeling.
91. That I did *not * stop for junk on the way home, although I wanted to
92. That I did *not * even stop at the hfs on the way home, because of money, even though I wanted to
93. That M and I were approved for those 2 summer days
94. That soon I will help someone else in program
95. Back to the d.r., the tablecloths
96. And the reiki table
97. And the doggie mat
98. And bowls
99. And the windows, French window style
100. And the French door
101. And the swinging door
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