Here's Where It All Is

I must clarify for myself where it "all" is.

1. God is in my life.
Yay.

2. I am becoming more whole.
Yay.

3. I am *working on* myself.
Yay.

4. I am also having some fun.
Yay. This is important too.

5. Although notoriously cheap about clothes, for many years, and always for years and years, asking J. to take me shopping ! :(
I have bought some clothes (major sales), shoes (major sales), bras and makeup. Like a woman does for herself.
Yay.
And it feels good.
Yay.

6. I am finding my womanhood for real forever.
Yay.

6. If there's one biggest mistake I've made, it's been fearing the worst. Which is akin to visualizing the worst. And which attracts what I fear.
I refuse to do that now.
I will not live that way.
First of all, I am getting better for *me.*
Secondly, J isn't feeling it, but -
he is willing to listen if I have an idea. I respect him very much for that.
So, while finding the idea, which I'm doing, I am staying positive. That besides doing for *myself,* our marriage just may be saved after all. And it is even more likely
*because*
I believe in that.
I am keeping positive, keeping my prayers positive, and asking those who care about me to keep their thoughts and wishes and prayers positive too.

Believe me,
I am fully prepared to be a wonderful wife in every way. Not like praying in the dark, but real 6 months of change so far and continuing and I do know what I know.

There.