I am grateful:
1. Today’s for Today: “Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.” Jean Jacques Rousseau
2. “Nature did not make me a compulsive overeater. My huger pangs are like everybody else’s: they tell me when I must take nourishment to sustain my life. When I began eating to satisfy emotional hunger, this simple mechanism went out of kilter and it stayed that way until I became abstinent in Overeaters Anonymous.
3. And this, which I know from my own experience is so true: “The irony of compulsive overeating is that it eliminates hunger and intensifies craving.”
4. And this, which is a hope for me: “Today, I live as nature intended me to live: I eat the food I need, with all the pleasure, enjoyment and freedom God wants me to have.”
5. And this, which is so important: “For today: Normal eaters may occasionally indulge in eating to satisfy needs other than hunger, but I am abstaining from such uses of food.”
6. Today’s e-mail thingy says: “The chronic self-centeredness that lies at the very core of compulsive overeating makes that struggle doubly difficult for people like us.
7. “Many of us have lived as if we believed we were the last people on earth, utterly blind to the effect our behavior has had on those around us.” Yes. That’s me. Ouch but good to see.
8. Oh my gosh and then it goes on to talk about the eighth step. The one I’m struggling so with right now. Yay.
9. It says: “The Eighth Step is the process our program has given us to honestly examine our past relationships.”
10. “We take a look at the writing we did on our Fourth Step to identify the effects our actions had on the people in our lives.” Just reading that, even though I already knew it of course, helps me remember others have done this and made it through. And I can too?
11. And this: “When we recognize harm done to some of those people, we become willing to take responsibility for our actions by making amends to them.”
12. Oh boy: “The variety of people we encounter in our day and the quality of our relations with them determines, to a great extent, the quality of our very lives. Love, humor, excitement, caring—the things that make life worth living derive much of their meaning from being shared with others. Understanding this, we want to discover the true nature of our relationships with other people and mend whatever breaks we may find in those relations. We want to work the Eighth Step.” That’s good!
13. “Just for today: I want to fully enjoy the companionship of my fellows. I will examine my relationships with the people in my life. Where I find I’ve harmed others, I will seek the willingness to make amends to them.”
14. Today’s Voices of Recovery says: “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God . . . “Step Eleven. And this is a reminder to me of the importance of meditation.
15. Hm. Maybe I’ll ask O and/or K to meditate with me today!:)
16. Oh, and this – which is me: “After my first conscious contact with my Higher Power, I tried to reconnect and maintain that pink-cloud feeling. I couldn’t do it for long.”
17. “Usually I remembered to ask God for help after I had put my foot in my mouth, after I had done it my way, after I had tried everything else. I became humble when I could not do the thing I most wanted to do: to remember God in all my affairs.”
18. “I believed in our program. What else is there for me? “
19. “Humility, fith, and service kept me coming back for six years with no weight loss and sometimes with no consistent abstinence. The hope in the promises was there for me, too. It had to be. Why do I have a clean, losing abstinence now? I stayed around until the miracle happened for me.” Oh, that is so hopeful!
20. In this morning’s e-mail thing, important: “Do you have any illusions about your ability to control your eating? Do you know, without a doubt, what would happen once you took the first compulsive bite? What stands between you and a real, live relapse? How strong is your program? Your relationships with your Intergroup Committee, your sponsor, your home group, and your Higher Power?”
21. I’m grateful that where I live I can practice piano all I want and not get hassled/not bother anybody with it.
22. Next morning. I was very depressed all day. But O called
23. And MA and we had a nice talk
24. And today is a new day
25. I’m grateful I’m not blind
26. And that my intestines work
27. And that I watered my flowers this morning
28. And I’m scared about taking my mother to the dr later but glad can do
29. Grateful for my new program books
30. And
I can only do this many. I will do 100 today
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