I am grateful:
1. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Others do not know what’s best for us.”
2. And “We do not know what’s best for others.”
3. And “It is our job to determine what’s best for ourselves.”
4. And this: “’I know what you need’…’I know what you should do’…’Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now.’ These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life.”
5. And “ of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.”
6. And “Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us – such as in a sponsorship relationship – we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our reasponsibility to seft and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.”
7. And “A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them – that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is bet for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.”
8. “To trust ourselves to be able to discover – through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error – is a great gift we can give ourselves.”
And “Today I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.
9. I’m very grateful that I love mornings. When I went through my divorce, I hated them.
10. It is all the program stuff I do that makes them wonderful, so I am grateful to all the program stuff.
11. And that after a really bad and depressing day, when I couldn’t go to the gym or practice piano, and no friends were around, I felt better in the evening.
12. And that it rained overnight and is raining now, so I don’t have to water the flowers: )
13. And that I will go to the meeting (unless doggie continues to freak – then I’ll stay with her?)
14. And *maybe * to lunch
15. And I think I’ll be able to practice piano today. Yay.
16. And even work on that blanket I need to finish for that baby : )
17. It’ll be a nice day for us, me and little doggie: )
18. I even cooked her some food this morning! She seems to like it. But I’ll get out (with her I guess) and get her the kind she loves best later.
19. I did my morning CoDA work, and have more on the positive side than the negative today! That’s about 3 times: )
20. Maybe St will be available for a movie later. Or MA. Or MA and ML. Or even S. Or O. Or maybe I’ll go alone. Maybe husband can take doggie?
21. I have heard back from the vb and the people with scared animals are staying home for the 4th, so I will too. I think it’s the right thing and I’m glad I asked and glad they answered.
22. Maybe – maybe MA will come here for a little meal before…?
23. Otherwise, we’ll be fine anyway! And I’m grateful for that.
24. I want J. back. No question. But – I need this growth. I needed this time. And even this hardship. So I am grateful for it.
25. And – well – my women friendships are even deeper now and more fun too. I’m grateful for that. Attachments – healthy ones – outside of him. They’re nice. And I’m so grateful.
26. That I am remembering to thank God first thing in the mornings now.
27. And that I actually mean it now too!
28. I'm grateful for happinesses, joys, and funs. I believe God is goodness and light and created us purely out of a desire to share the wonderfulness. And we should be enjoying it. And I have spent so much time not! So I'm very grateful for every bit of it now.
29. I *love* my flowers! They bring me happiness! I'm going to have them every year for the rest of my life!
30. And we will figure out a way to get the bamboo to O, and some of MA's perennials too! Including lilac!
31. My own lilac has thrived since its move last year and I’m so grateful for that. Glad we moved it carefully and that I reikied it too.
32. Today’s For Today: “…I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.” Just for Today
33. And it says: “How is it possible to be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful/ There is surely no threat in beauty.”
34. “It was a fear of living, actually, that made me hide in food. To be afraid to live is t be afraid of everything – good as well as bad, beautiful as well as ugly.”
35. And this: “In giving to the world, it is I who must make the first move, I who must run to meet life with a smile that says, I’m happy to be here.’ “
36. And “To like oneself, to enjoy life and o have enthusiasm for tits precious gifts is to give to the world.”
37. And it says: “For today: Freedom from food obsession restores to me my God-given right to enjoy the beauty of this world and not to be afraid to show it.”
38. I’m grateful that I have gas in the car.
39. And that I can drive.
40. And that I did go to that meeting this morning!
41. And that some people came to tell me they got stuff out of what I shared.
42. And some said I’m doing well, or am “fine.” Thank you, God.
43. And *I * got stuff out of what I heard.
44. And there were about something-teen of us. It was so good to be there.
45. And that afterward, others and I stayed with the woman who didn’t feel well.
46. And that although 2 disagreed, a few didn’t, and I called 911 after like an hour.
47. And that they came and she *did * want the oxygen.
48. And that she turned out to be fine; her vitals etc.
49. And that then 2, 3, and 4 or us wound up at the restaurant together.
50. And that for 6.98 I had lunch and brought home enough for dinner too.
51. And that it is healthy food.
52. And I’m grateful that I came right home and grabbed doggie to go to that specialty store where they sell her food.
53. It turns out they were closed but at least I tried. And took her with; she likes riding in the car.
54. And I’m even grateful that she likes riding in the car.
55. And that I then went to other store and got some food for me and some for her.
56. And she’s eating it.
57. And that on the way home, I passed J in his car and that was really really hard for me. Where is he going on this road at this time etc. He isn’t even thinking of me etc. BUT – as I turned the corner to go by where he is staying to see if I was wrong and his car was there, I didn’t go through with it. I made a u-turn and came home. Because that would *not * have been a good thing to do, no matter the result.
58. And I’m grateful that I prayed for God to be with me.
59. And that He was/is.
60. And that I’m okay today.
61. That when I looked in the mirror this morning, expecting to see a troll or something, I saw someone cute. With clear and unwrinkled skin and nice hair.
62. And that these are the things I’m thinking of – not if I’ll ever get out of an iron lung or something. The problems of the worried well, really. Which does not diminish them. They hurt. But I don’t hurt every minute. And I don’t wonder if I’ll *ever * have a moment when I don’t hurt. I already do have them sometimes.
63. Today’s Voices of Recovery says: “then I realized that I first practiced humility by admitting powerlessness in Step One, by admitting insanity (Step Two), by letting God take control (Step Three(, by admitting defects (Step Four) and then by sharing the defects (Step Five). So I have been practicing humility. I just hadn’t tripped over the word ‘humbly’ before. Since I have been granted humility all along, this evidence confirms that I will be granted enough to continue the path of the Twelve Steps.”
64. Today’s Language of Letting Go speaks of our need to control coming out in saying what we think others want to hear, and trying to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. “But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.”
65. And it says, “Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.”
66. And that did work for me with Ch the other day.
67. And it says, “let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths.”
68. And “Neither do we need to hide our light.” Great!
69. And “Let go, and freely be who you are.”
70. And this: “Today, I will be honest with myself and others, knowing that if I don’t, my truth will come out some other way.” I wish I’d been able to start practicing that earlier, but I’m glad to begin to know it now.
71. That doggie fine.
72. That I’m able to practice piano a bit today.
73. I am sitting here calmly.
74. I am about to call a friend.
75. I shall then clean up the kitchen and maybe also cook.
76. I broke that phobia and went to that specialty dog store. It taught me to go to something non-phobic and just stay in car after and will get to the phobic one. I’ve been experimenting with that lately and it works!
77. I’m so grateful for the cookbook Supermarket Vegan
78. And for Appetite for Reduction
79. And 365 Simply Delicious Dairy Free…
80. And Vegan on the Cheap
81. And Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen
82. And something with the word Nona in it.
83. And all the others
84. Particularly Robin Robertson
85. And Isa Chandra Moskowitz
86. And Donna Klein
87. And nearby cheap good Chinese food that delivers
88. And that I begin helping someone work the steps tomorrow.
89. And that I am abstinent today.
90. And that my Sponsor said, “If you have one day abstinent, there is someone who feels they would give an arm for one day abstinent. And you can help them.”
91. And that someone in today’s meeting said Bill W. was no saint and never claimed to be. Only that he used to be drunk and now he stayed sober.
92. And that although she is having trouble writing, my mother sounded good today.
93. And we will go out together this very week.
94. I’m grateful that I just talked to MA
95. And that we had a nice talk
96. And laughed!
97. And that we discussed the phrase I found most interesting in the to me disappointing book, Elegance of the Hedgehog: mise on abyme. How I had thought that French word meant one thing, and our French-fluent friend thought someone else and then we looked it up and found yet something else, because apparently it has a different meaning in a literary sense than in the daily-usage sense. I found that whole thing fascinating.
98. And that I’m about to call St and see about going to a bookstore together right now!
99. And either way, I’ve got plenty to read and do tomorrow.
100. I am grateful that I didn’t kill myself.
101. And for hope.
102. And for the people I’ve met online through my blog.
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