The Nightmare

The dream. At school outside but very different looking. Hilly. Can’t find kids to pack up and give homework. Others being dismissed. Looking all over through crowds and land. Yelling for them. Finally see boys on top row bleachers, mixed in (some sort of game going on). Yelling to come and telling them to get others. Worried that can’t write note home with hw assignment on it because would have to say, “Couldn’t find kids.”! Meeting with team after school. SUCH TROUBLE DRIVING! Laying back leaning on pillow trying to drive and PUSH the car. CANNOT get up the hill. Am near my house. Physically canNOT get up the hill. Trying. Trying. Finally pull over in front of someone’s house. Guys – like workers – coming by – didn’t like that I was there (I was across the street, near Je St. ). I explained – no – just taking break – am having trouble getting up hill – was secretly hoping they’d help but didn’t I’d been or now went and driving, saw M and Ls walking up big hill by Ls. high school. And I thought, while going around block, “Oh stupid L, probably parked at … I can park on the street closer” because KNEW couldn’t walk that far and up. But couldn’t find T Aven! Passed it, it wasn’t there, something… Worried about being late, but moreso about the not being able to get up hills (like the recurring dream of pulling on the foot high or so grasses trying to walk) Went straight and was like in driveway garage thing and it turned out it was in the L. high school. I was like, “Oh. If I go through to the other side I’ll be there.” And then it got worse. Up these stairs – this hall – all metal – looked almost like inside a prison might look – the doors – gates too? – sometimes alone – scared of crime – then some people – up up – feeling that that’s good because stairs were easier and when get out might not have hill! But out door was in somewhere else! And again. Finally, in like garages area (why was that up?) and saw workers down one flight, like mechanics or something. Asked them. I had to go down to ask them. They explained where to go. I SO wanted them to drive me. So much trouble. Couldn’t walk up. Couldn’t drive up. And work troubles all around… Mainly like invalid. And metal and gates and dirty window-doors. And everyone else knew what doing but me. L: "Representation of situation of begin stretched to limit of work demands and taking care of mother."