CoDA Work Today

I woke up and I feel:

Frightened, unhappy, envious, blue, anxious, toppled, regretful, hateful, battered, estranged, isolated, ridiculous, ill, vulnerable, jittery, worried
AND
Defeated, powerless
AND
Grateful, blessed, sacred, inspired

I think it is because:
Although I only ate dinner and nothing after, I ate too much
I am very tired
I want J here
I'm mad that he didn't tell me what was going on inside him
I'm mad at myself for not helping more when he was clearly in trouble
I'm tired of having to deal with stupid people at work and especially the one who is stupid and mean
I have screwed up my life
I see others who haven't.
BUT
God is here.
And I have program.
And there should be hope

What I will do differently next time:
Eat less.
Go to bed earlier.
Try to do the other kind of CoDA work - the resentment thing later, and the pm 5 good things about myself