Gratitudes Today

I am grateful:

1. Waking up
2. Having some stuff to do this weekend
3. That I did laundry last night.
4. That I had the energy to do it.
5. That I’m able to type and do some morning work
6. That I did CoDA work yesterday and so far even more thoroughly today
7. MA
8. Some heat came on, yay.
9. From a professional e-mail this morning: When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.
10. Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you. Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She’s four.

When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked.

When you’re always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).

All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
11. . . . When, after getting depressed things still don’t change, there’s one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.
12. You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.

What does that mean?

First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an example. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy.

Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : “What happens, my darling?” Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : “Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.”
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : “I understand”.

These words are very important, because most of the time we don’t feel very “normal” having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you.”

Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :”What do you need?”
13. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’ have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.
14. Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.

Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.

Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.

It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
15. Today’s For Today: “What my experience as a compulsive overeater teaches me ispriceless when I use it as this program directs.”
16. This is totally me. Voices of Recovery today: “Most of us find that fear is at the root of many of our damaging emotions and actions.” OA 12 & 12 p. 49
17. And “I learned that fear hinders me - maes me pull back, keep silent, ‘not do’ in the first place, feel left out with my friends, avoid responsibilities, and miss the moment and all it has to offer.” Yes. Totally me.
18. “I have learned that once I become conscious of fear’s presence, I can choose to dispel it by breathing out faith.”
19. So, “Breathe in fear, breathe out faith?”
20. “Faith is the antidote to fear.
21. “Faith that my Higher Power is here with me,
22. “always has my best interests at heart,
23. “and will encourage and guide me to all truth, if I ask.
24. “With faith I experience this present moment and taste how good it is.” Wow.
25. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.
26. “We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.
27. “Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable.
28. “But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.
29. “Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.
30. “Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.
31. “It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
32. “Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today’s lesson, and are ready to move on.
33. “Today I will accept. I will relinquish my need to be in resistance to myself and my environment. I will surrender. I will cultivate contentment and gratitude. I will move forward in joy by accepting where I am today.”
34. I never saw this coming: MA grew up on a farm, and I am a vegan. Very different attitudes toward animals and toward food. Such change has occurred, that she is now asking me for recipes.
35. And that means other things can change too.
36. That I just sent MA those five great soup recipes she asked for
37. That I’m about to take a shower

More later?