Grats

I am grateful:

1. I woke up today.
2. It will not be too cold today.
3. No one called and woke me last night.
4. So I didn’t get up and eat.
5. I did my CoDA work this morning.
6. I did manage to call my sponsor yesterday.
7. I am not in a hospital.
8. I am breathing. I know what it’s like to have such physical trouble breathing, and I’m not having it now!
9. My cough stuff is getting better.
10. I was so nice to my kids yesterday.
11. I’ve been told the horrible-bad aide will be out of my room, at least for mornings, within a few days. That’s a relief.
12. My intestines work.
13. My veins work.
14. My brain works.
15. The book course yesterday.
16. I’m glad I have these books to read.
17. And MA’s house at which to read them, when I can’t read here lol.
18. That I didn’t go to the store for junk last eve, as I wanted to!
19. That some people come here, and I’m not alone in cyber-space.
20. My tech session yesterday.
21. And what, after that, I taught the kids in the computer lab.
22. Sweaters.
23. Camisole type things to wear under tops and not feel freezing cold.
24. That even though I sent him an e-mail yesterday, there is no bad news from J today.
25. The math songs I’ve just written with the kids
26. The “breathing-game” book I read to them yesterday and they enjoyed so much.
27. The book I’ll be starting for them today.
28. Today’s For Today: “Whoever is aware of his own failings will not find fault with the failings of other men.” James Ross
29. “…without self-awareness, the habit of finding fault is a distraction that keeps me from seeing my own mistakes.
30. “As long as I look at another’s wrongheadedness, I don’t see myself – the only person I can change.”
31. “A daily tenth step turns my attention to myself so I will know what to do to put my life in order.”
32. And that tells me, I’d better get on with it for getting through Step Eight. So I can keep going to 9, 10, etc.
33. “For today: I don’t’ need to concern myself with other people’s faults; I have all the detective wok I can handle to ferret out my own.”
34. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “For many of us, fear, worry, and anxiety played a key role in our lives, robbing us of joy and keeping us from fulfilling our dreams.” OA 12 & 12 p. 37
35. So I am not alone. Because that is me, and it is in the book because it is not just me. And it is in the book because people change from it. Which means I can too.
36. “I was sick with fear about my job. I was afraid I was not doing well enough. I was afraid I would be fired.”
37. Oh my gosh, that was me! I’m great at my job, and yet for YEARS – EVERY TIME I went to the mailbox, I expected and feared that I’d see a pink slip. Oh how sick I’ve been: (
38. It goes on to say, “f only the fear would go away, then I could get abstinent, I thought, over and over again. I was dodging the truth behind the fear.
39. “I was not doing well enough, no matter how many extra hours I worked.”
40. “…The foods I raved incessantly (because I ate them) were keeping me sleepy and fogged.”
41. “I had it backwards. I had to get abstinent first, not get rid of the fear first.”
42. “I’m glad those two old fellows were right, the ones who liked to say, ‘You can’t think yourself into a new way of acting, you have to act yourself into a new way of thinking.’:
43. “I’m glad I accepted that I could not control my feelings,
44. but with God – given courage I could change my actions,
45. in spite of how I felt.”
46. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I respond respectfully. If someone treats me critically, negatively, or disrespectfully, it’s not because I deserve such treatement.
47. “I don’t need to take their inventory, nor do I need to buy into their opinion.
48. “How I react to other people speaks volumes about me, my history, and my communication skills.
49. “By going to CoDA meetings, I’m learning how to speak up, set limits, and still be respectful of others.”
50. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Clarity. I know better than to not trust God. But sometimes, I forget that.
51. “When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.
52. “If we were to watch only two minutes of the middle of a television program, it would make little sense. It would be a disconnected event.
53. “If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focuse on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed.
54. “How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life – especially when we are going through a difficult time.
55. “We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times.
56. “When we are being pelleted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.
57. “We can trust that something valuable is being worked out in us – even when things are difficult, even when we cannot get our bearings. “ Oh, may this be tru.
58. “Insight and clarity do not come until we have mastered our lesson.”
59. “Faith is like a muscle. It must be exercised to grow strong. Repeated experiences of having to trust what we can’t see and repeated experiences of learning to trust that things will work out, are what makes our faith muscles grow strong.” May this be true!
60. “Today, I will trust that the events in my life are not random.
61. “My experiences are not a mistake.
62. “The Universe, my Higher Power, and life are not picking on me.
63. “I am going through what I need to go through to learn something valuable, something that will prepare me for the joy and love I am seeking.” Please God, may these beautiful thoughts be true!