Grats

I am grateful:

1. M.
2. She DOES love me.
3. I would never take her up on this, but she actually said this last night. And it is not the first time she’s said something like this. Remember, she is in a very different financial state than I. “Honey, you will never be poor. You will never lack for a roof over your head. If worst comes to worst, worst really comes to worst, I will buy a 4-bedroom instead of a 3-bedroom house. You will live here. I only have my children half time, so you’ll have plenty of quiet days, a beautiful room I promise, a safe home, your vegan food. I mean this for life. Even if I am with someone, you are always welcome to a home in my home.”
4. It doesn’t matter that I would never do that. It doesn’t matter that her feeling about it all might change were I to : ) It matters that she meant it.
5. I guess, thanks to you, and especially JJ, EJ, and Birdie, I am not only not alone in cyber-space, but I’m also not all alone irl.
6. There are miracles.
7. I am a miracle.
8. Each of you is a miracle.
9. Every baby is a miracle.
10. This song. Every time in my life than I have seen and heard it, I am covered with chills. It moves me so deeply. It is sung by the magnificent singer Reba McIntire, playing the roll of a first time grandmother with her newborn grandchild. Copy this into your irl, turn up the volume, and enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=032FsMMKWqM
11. The sweet nothings L. whispered to me in bed on the phone. Not raunchy! Just lovely, like, “Let’s drape ourselves across each other and feel each other’s skin and fall asleep so gently.”
12. And I fell asleep gently. To that.
13. And although not NEARLY enough, I did get some sleep!
14. Dear JJ. I am so tired, and kind of nauseous. Just want to stay home and asleep. Nervous about financial talk tomorrow… But I woke up, and she had the most beautiful note here, and it really helped to turn around things for this day.
15. Dear M, who actually MADE my sub plans for that day this week, and sent them to me for approval before giving them to sub. I didn’t even have to think about it.
16. God. God of goodness. God whom I believe created all of us, out of a desire to share the love and joy.
17. Grace. Which I see as the spirit of God as it moves among, around, and between us.
18. The Internet. I have met such beautiful people here.
19. EJ e-mailing. Thank you for that special e-mail, EJ.
20. Prayer
21. Meditation
22. That when I went to do it yesterday, I wound up lying on the little rug in the little sunroom, weeping. Just weeping. It was painful, and followed me back into the den, but I think it was a necessary release.
23. That I do believe this 4-day headache will go away. It’s SO uncomfortable. I have had maybe 4 headaches in my LIFE up until now. But I DO believe it will go away. I mean, obviously, I’m not going to walk around with the headache forever.
24. That I also believe, whatever happens I will get through.
25. Anne Frank.
26. That her father shared her diary with us all.
27. Inspirational quotations.
28. "Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you, and be happy." Anne Frank
29. "It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart." Anne Frank
30. “Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! “ Anne Frank
31. “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank
32. “I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.” Anne Frank
33. “The most important day I remember in all my life is the one on which my teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, came to me.” Helen Keller
34. That while I was meditating, I did hear from right outside the window, the most beautiful birdsong.
35. “Once I knew the depth where no hope was, and darkness lay on the face of all things. Then love came and set my soul free. Once I knew only darkness and stillness. Now I know hope and joy. Once I fretted and beat myself against the wall that shut me in. Now I rejoice in the consciousness that I can think, act and attain heaven. My life was without past or future; death, the pessimist would say, "a consummation devoutly to be wished." But a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living. Night fled before the day of thought, and love and joy and hope came up in a passion of obedience to knowledge. Can anyone who escaped such captivity, who has felt the thrill and glory of freedom, be a pessimist?” Helen Keller
36. “To know the history of philosophy is to know that the highest thinkers of the ages, the seers of the tribes and the nations, have been optimists. The growth of philosophy is the story of man's spiritual life.” Helen Keller
37. “The highest result of education is tolerance. Long ago men fought and died for their faith; but it took ages to teach them the other kind of courage, — the courage to recognize the faiths of their brethren and their rights of conscience. Tolerance is the first principle of community; it is the spirit which conserves the best that all men think.” Helen Keller
38. “Let pessimism once take hold of the mind, and life is all topsy-turvy, all vanity and vexation of spirit. There is no cure for individual or social disorder, except in forgetfulness and annihilation. "Let us eat, drink and be merry," says the pessimist, "for to-morrow we die." If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. I should seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the music that does not ring in my ears. I should beg night and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart in awful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and to others to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation.” Helen Keller
39. “I believe it is a sacred duty to encourage ourselves and others; to hold the tongue from any unhappy word against God's world, because no man has any right to complain of a universe which God made good, and which thousands of men have striven to keep good. I believe we should so act that we may draw nearer and more near the age when no man shall live at his ease while another suffers. These are the articles of my faith, and there is yet another on which all depends — to bear this faith above every tempest which overfloods it, and to make it a principal in disaster and through affliction. Optimism is the harmony between man's spirit and of God pronouncing His works good.” Helen Keller
40. “Recently I was visited by a very good friend who had just returned from a long walk in the woods, and I asked her what she had observed. “Nothing in particular,” she replied. I might have been incredulous had I not been accustomed to such responses, for long ago I became convinced that the seeing see little.
How was it possible, I asked myself, to walk for an hour through the woods and see nothing worthy of note? I who cannot see find hundreds of things to interest me through mere touch. I feel the delicate symmetry of a leaf. I pass my hands lovingly about the smooth skin of a silver birch, or the rough, shaggy bark of a pine. In spring I touch the branches of trees hopefully in search of a bud, the first sign of awakening Nature after her winter’s sleep. I feel the delightful, velvety texture of a flower, and discover its remarkable convolutions; and something of the miracle of Nature is revealed to me.” Helen Keller
41. “Happiness is the final and perfect fruit of obedience to the laws of life.” Helen Keller
42. And that one, to me, is about Acceptance.
43. “A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.” Helen Keller
44. “It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.” Helen Keller
45. SO TRUE! “If we spend the time we waste in sighing for the perfect golden fruit in fulfilling the conditions of its growth, happiness will come, must come. It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe. If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well, the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.” Helen Keller
46. “It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” Eleanor Roosevelt
47. “Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” Eleanor Roosevelt
48. “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?” Eleanor Roosevelt
49. L just wrote. Said he feels “warmed and nourished” by me. Sweet.
50. My new lawyer
51. Tenderness. Every example of it I’ve ever known.
52. My French lessons! So grateful for them!
53. M on phone just now.
54. And she said she will take my class for 50 minutes this morning. She will do math. I have done this too – it’s good for them to work as buddies. But today, oh, what a gift.
55. Antibiotics, when needed
56. My not letting L come here before *I’m * ready.
57. I’m probably going to see Stonehenge!
58. My original birth certificate came back yesterday!
59. My pocket book.
60. My safe deposit box, for birth certificate and deed to house
61. Dancing. I love dancing.
62. Though it’s a busy and potentially very stressful one, a weekend is coming: )
63. Spinach
64. Collards
65. Blogs
66. Internal sameness across many countries of the earth
67. I’m beginning to feel a bit more myself after these whirlwind heady L feelings, and sickness, and intensely busy days. Phew.
68. Humor
69. People who are thankful, including me.
70. The strength I have shown in the past.
71. The strength I expect to be granted in the future.
72. Enjoyment! Every moment of innocent fun and enjoyment.
73. Vegetarian Times magazine
74. Lentils
75. Access to plenty of fresh, clean water.
76. Life
77. Breath
78. Thich Nhat Hahn
79. Thai food
80. Vegans everywhere
81. Dogs
82. Cats
83. Fish
84. Birds
85. Turtles
86. The author visiting my class the other day
87. I think I’m going to get a Smart Phone. I have a very old (10 years?) clam shell phone that is broken. Not sure can afford monthly, but will see.
88. I WILL get done all I need to this weekend. I WILL.
89. 3 nice new vegan soaps which were a gift.
90. About to take shower. A shower makes a gratitude.
91. French picture-books
92. Maybe can see the movie Les Choristes tonight – M bought it for me! : )
93. Mothers’ love for their children
94. My amazing father
95. My quick typing abilities
96. And that typing relaxes me so much
97. Whole grain bread
98. Tofu
99. Vanilla almond milk
100. Coconut water