I am grateful for these things:
1. trying to keep myself in a state of gratitude
2. I have never been a slave
3. I have never been in a concentration camp
4. I have never been in a prison (which would have been despite not having committed the crime, of course)
5. I have never been a prisoner of war
6. I have Buddhism in my life
7. I have God in my life
8. And Jesus
9. I can speak
10. I can walk and get about on my own
11. I can breathe unassisted
12. I can see!
13. I can hear
14. I can type
15. And even play piano
16. I believe I *will * make love again one day.
17. I am going to England!!!!!
18. I am taking French lessons!
19. And have so far been able to afford them.
20. I know some math
21. I am literate – reading, writing, spoken communication
22. I have always managed to do what needed – even if/when could only do bottommost level of it
23. I have all my internal organs (except those removed during hysterectomy)
24. I’m *enjoying * these little fantasies about L : )
25. I have a therapist who helps me
26. And the phone one too, temporarily
27. Jo’s humor and vivaciousness
28. Although I see myself as so dark, I’ve been told many times that I bring “joy and light” to the other person(s) - !
29. I have a Bachelor’s degree
30. And a Master’s degree
31. And a permanent teaching certificate
32. Plus 75 credits past my masters
33. I might - MIGHT – be able to take the Human Rights course.
34. I did write to the coordinator.
35. And he said it has sadness, of course, but that we always end on a happy note.
36. And that if I need, he’ll be happy to help with anything that comes up
37. And it’s free – so even if I have to start and drop out, it’s ok.
38. I am feeling MUCH calmer than an hour ago. Phew.
39. I have a professional lunch-date with my former tai chi teacher in a couple of weeks : )
40. I have Reiki in my life
41. Lovely e-mails from L.
42. My dr. says it is not imperative for me to see a number of guys.
43. Just to be careful, as I am vulnerable right now, emotionally.
44. I have a birthday coming up. And maybe I can CELEBRATE that I am alive; that I was born; that I didn’t kill myself.
45. And I know D and M will do something for me.
46. And I will probably be able to have a nice day, as I was able to last year, right?
47. Bright people, as in smart.
48. Bright people, as in light.
49. Romance. Every pure moment of it I have ever had in my life.
50. The sense I have come to have.
51. M just called. Nice. Trying to help me.
52. And I shall be with her on Sunday afternoon. Maybe we can even get me that phone!
53. Sitcom reruns that relax me a bit
54. I may need to take a pill today. But if I do, I can.
55. Good hot tea.
56. Laughter
57. Access to plenty of fresh clean water.
58. My hair
59. My sense of humor. It does crack people up irl.
60. DVD’s
61. Abilities. All my abilities.
62. Bread.
63. Hot cereal.
64. The Five Mindfulness Trainings.
65. That I try to practice them to the best of my ability.
66. That my OA sponsor is unrelenting in trying to push me into sharing the positive changes at meetings.
67. That I’ve begun to know he’s right.
68. There could be someone sitting there, in the exact shape I was in one year ago, in need. And I could be of help!
69. Beautiful music.
70. All music.
71. That I *did * get to play at that woman’s 40th birthday party.
72. And how supportive J. was about it.
73. That a friend reminded me this week, “Don’t be emotional when it comes to the money. You MUST protect yourself.”
74. And that the lawyer, whose son I’ve taught and he still loves me, said, “I know who you are. I know your heart. He does too. He may think your kindness means you’re going to roll over. You’re not.” Thank God for her.
75. Slippers
76. Socks
77. Especially my new socks
78. That I did a load of towels and a few other things yesterday.
79. That I have healthy food in the house.
80. That L. plays instruments.
81. That people at work respect me.
82. That I can knit.
83. And crochet.
84. And do crewel work. And taught myself!
85. And do needlepoint.
86. And that I can enjoy coloring
87. And Drawing
88. And painting
89. And playing piano
90. And practicing piano
91. That I have a dishwasher
92. And a washing machine
93. And a dryer
94. Without going outside
95. And mailbox right outside my front door
96. S e-mailed me today too.
97. And N. sends her love.
98. Thai food.
99. Plum wine
100. Grape juice
101. That I did this hundred.
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